Can you say "Flip-Flop"?, Part Deux

Okay, I lied—I've decided to spend part of my week's vacation actually on vacation after all.  I'm sick of this Amazon jungle heat here in K.C., so I'm getting away for a couple days to a climate that'll be about 30-35 degrees cooler by the time I get there—Minnesota!  Maybe I'll drop by and see Mary, Lou, Murray, Ted and the rest of the WJM gang while I visit the Land of 10,000 Lakes.  Full report pending upon my return...

More (D)Ann Coulter

Watch these videos and tell me this bitch doesn't have an Adam's Apple! Once again, I pose the question, if this "woman" is so damn conservative, then why does "she" dress so slutty?

Can you say "Flip-Flop"?

Pretty self-explanatory, straight from the horse's (patoot's) mouth.  Many thanks to my dear friend Stacy for bringing this to my attention.

The Original VH-1

When Kiss started falling out of favor a bit in the late '70s, their void was filled for me by a band that one Gene Simmons ironically had a hand in discovering—Van Halen.  I saw these guys in concert four times during the David Lee Roth era, and three more with Sammy Hagar, and these were some of my all-time favorite concerts.  The DLR era in particular featured some of the most high-energy shows I've ever attended, and at their peak (circa. 1981-82) VH was white-hot on stage, even when Roth was too drunk or too stoned to remember some of the lyrics!

 So why is it I'm so queasy about today's announcement of a Van Halen reunion tour with Roth?  I guess maybe because I know that deep down inside, the Van Halens and Roth really still can't stand each other, but they can put up with each other long enough to snag a few paychecks.  And you just know that this tour is going to end badly (if it ever gets off the ground in the first place), and it will have more to do with Roth's arrogant tendencies than with Eddie Van Halen's well-documented substance abuse problems.  I also have issues with bassist Michael Anthony being sacked in favor of Eddie's 17-year-old son Wolfgang.  I don't understand what Eddie's (and/or Alex's) beef is with Mikey—he's certainly put up with all of their problems all these years and never complained.  For all we know, young Wolfie might well be a competent bassist, but can he also duplicate Anthony's high harmony backing vocals that are an integral part of the VH sound?  To me, this is not a true reunion tour if Anthony isn't part of it.  As I said the first time they announced this tour earlier this year, I have a baaaad feeling about this...

But let's not forget why I came to love this band in the first place—they fucking rocked!  Great guitar pyrotechnics from Eddie, Roth's testosterony lyrics, and some great live shows.  My favorite VH album was 1981's Fair Warning, the 8-track tape (remember those, kids?) of which I nearly wore out during my junior year in high school.  All four of the VH shows I saw with Roth were great, but my personal favorite was the Diver Down tour in 1982.  My friend Tom and I had great seats at Kemper Arena on the lower lever near Eddie's side of the stage, and I distinctly remember how pumped-up the crowd was before the show began.  One of my all-time favorite concert memories occured during the opening act, After The Fire (of "Der Kommisar" fame), when some guy in the front row stood up right in front of ATF's lead singer with his right arm and middle finger extended!  Crude gesture, to be sure, but deadly accurate—these guys sucked, and that's how anxious that crowd was to see Van Halen!  Then again, crappy opening acts were a VH staple—whereas Kiss always brought along great opening acts like Judas Priest, Molly Hatchet, Queensryche and W.A.S.P., Van Halen gave us big names like The Katz, G-Force, After The Fire and The Velcros!

The Van Hagar era was less satisfying on many levels, although I really do like Sammy Hagar.  Early on, the shows were still high-energy, and by far, 1988's OU812 was the high-water mark of Sammy's tenure, but after that, it felt like Van Halen really lost their edge, and by 1995's Balance album, they were downright boring!  Then the whole big soap opera began when Hagar was fired and VH briefly reunited with Roth for two lame songs on a best-of CD, then Extreme vocalist Gary Cherone came in for that still-born Van Halen 3 flop in 1998, and then they reunited with Hagar again for another greatest hits album and a very ragged concert tour.  Sadly, this once-mighty band has basically been irrelevant for the last 15 years.

Do me a favor, please, and wake me up when or if they become relevant again...

My All-Time Van Halen Top 10 (Hagar era):
10) "Top Of The World" (1991)
9) "Dreams" (1986)
8) "Humans Being" (1995)
7) "Good Enough" (1986)
6) "Mine All Mine" (1988)
5) "Runaround" (1991)
4) "When It's Love" (1988)
3) "Source Of Infection" (1988)
2) "A.F.U. (Naturally Wired) (1988)
1) "Get Up" (1986)

My All-Time Van Halen Top 15 (Diamond Dave era):
15) "Jamie's Cryin'" (1978)
14) "Hot For Teacher" (1984)
13) "Everybody Wants Some!!" (1980)
12) "Panama" (1984)
11) "Ice Cream Man" (1978)
10) "D.O.A." (1979)
9) "Pretty Woman" (1982)
8) "Somebody Get Me A Doctor!" (1979)
7) "Eruption"/"You Really Got Me" (1978)
6) "Fools" (1980)
5) "Sinner's Swing!" (1981)
4) "Hear About It Later" (1981)
3) "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" (1978)
2) "I'm The One" (1978)
1) "Unchained" (1981)