La-La-La-La means...

…I forgot the words!

Sorry, couldn’t resist a little pun on the classic Delfonics hit from 1969—about as smooth as they get, too!

I REMEMBER WHEN ROCK WAS YOUNG…
…and that seems an eternity ago now.  I saw by the paper today that the Steve Miller Band is scheduled to play a show on New Year’s Eve at the Pavilion at John Knox Village in nearby Lee’s Summit.  Sounds like a swingin’ concert venue, right?  Guess again—John Knox is a retirement village!  Now I realize that Steve Miller just turned 65 himself a couple weeks ago, but Rock ‘N’ Roll in an old-folks’ home?!?  I’m not sure which is more warped about this, the venue or that they have the chutzpah to charge $60 a head to get in for a guy who hasn’t put out a decent record in over 20 years.  They also say .38 Special is playing the Pavilion in February for 40 bucks a pop.  Wouldn’t $38 tickets be more appropo for the occasion?

LIVING IN THE PAST
There’s yet another Kiss CD box set due out this week, called Kiss Ikons.  One box set wasn’t enough?  This time, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley have contrived to put out this four-disc, 60-song compilation with each disc featuring one original band member’s vocals exclusively—i.e. a Gene disc, a Paul disc, et al.  Even Peter Criss gets a full-fledged disc here.  Jeez, you can only repackage the band’s music so many ways, dude.  I’m reminded of how the record company milked the late Jim Croce’s music catalog to death by first putting out a best-of album Photographs & Memories, then followed it up with Jim Croce’s Greatest Character Songs and Jim Croce’s Greatest Hits that Start With The Letter R, et al.  Pretty warped, considering the man only put out three full studio albums in the first place…

And so it goes with Kiss.  This continual rehash of old Kiss material only serves to alienate long-time fans like me—how’s about a NEW Kiss album, Gene?  No way in hell we’ll ever get a new record out of the original lineup with Ace and Peter, but I wouldn’t mind hearing what Kiss would sound like in the studio with Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer on some new material.  Stanley at least still writes and records songs, having released a solo album two years ago that wasn’t half-bad, but Gene is apparently content to rest on his laurels (and his fat ass) and continue mining the past, which unfortunately is very finite.  It isn’t just Kiss who practices this—it seems like just about every Classic Rock act suddenly lost their creativity in the early ‘90s and they don’t even try to produce anything new and meaningful now.  Why is this?  I’ve posed this question before here, but has Rock ‘N’ Roll truly run out of things to say?  As much as I loathe the music of John Cougar Bandcamp, I at least give him credit for continuing to give his fans some new stuff now and then.

TRULY SATANIC
Tonight on the hockey docket:  New Jersey at Atlanta.  This means tomorrow we can honestly say "The Devils went down to Georgia…"  As you may or may not know, the New Jersey Devils are my favorite NHL squad, and I’ve always thought us fans should be called the "Devils’ Advocates"…

MORE RANCOR AT ARROWHEAD
The Chefs tried and failed to trade disgruntled tight end Tony Gonzalez this week after he asked the team to deal him to a contender.  Can’t say I blame him, really—this team is going nowhere fast, and apparently owner Clark Hunt has no intention of cleaning house in the front office and/or coaching staff anytime soon.  Meantime, running back Larry Johnson has been accused of being a dumbass again over some shoving incident with a woman at a bar last February.  I’m surprised the Chefs aren’t on some sort of TV reality show by now…

By the way, does anyone out there know why ESPN’s Chris Berman always calls Larry Johnson "Grandmamma"?  I understand Boomer’s penchant for nicknaming every player, but the only Grandmamma I can think of in popular culture was on "The Addams Family", and she bore no resemblance to LJ.

THANK YOU, PHILLIES!
For making it to the World Series.  I don’t think I could take the whole Manny Ramirez vs. Boston soap opera that Fox Sports was hoping for.  Looks like the Red Sox may not even make it to the Show themselves either.  Fine by me, as I always like to see a new match-up in the Series, especially involving a team that hasn't won it or even been in it before.

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #98
"Good Lovin’ Gone Bad"—BAD COMPANY (1976)  "And when I say 'it's over, that’s it--I’m gonna quit!'"  Paul Rodgers confused me by sounding indecisive here:  "That’s IF I’m gonna quit."

THE BLUEBIRD OF LAMENESS
Apparently Missouri can’t "Show Me" any more creative car tags for 2008-09, so we’re stuck with these beyond dull models.  And why is the state bird of Missouri a Bluebird?  In all of my 44 years living in this state, I have yet to see an actual live Bluebird in the flesh.  I’m not even sure if Bluebirds are indigenous to this region.  Hell, the state bird of Mo. oughtta be the Grackle!  I have a yard full of these buggers every Spring…


MORE CHILDHOOD DELUSIONS SHATTERED…
I hear that actress Maureen McCormick is releasing a tell-all bio on herself, and I’m not sure I want to read it or not.  I imagine she tarted up her story quite a bit in order to sell more books, but from the sounds of it, she wasn’t as sweet and innocent as we all thought, and led a fairly sordid off-screen life away from Chez Brady.  Oh, Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

ONE ACROSS YOUR LIPS!
To Hollywood’s continual lack of creativity, as it seems there were plans in place for a "Sanford & Son" big-screen film sometime next year.  That plan was scuttled by the untimely death of comedian Bernie Mac, as evidently he was going to play Fred before he wound up having his own "Big One" (of sorts) for real back in August.  Bad ideas seem to fly around Tinsel Town these days like chairs at a taping of "Geraldo"…

ALL THAT JAZZ
I've added a new link for your entertainment call "Jazz From Hell".  No, it's not a site about Kenny G or John Tesh, but rather a cool blog my friend Stacy turned me on to that has some pretty good political commentary.  The guy reminds me of me at times...

First Class, A-#1 American Crappola at its finest

The following is a good example of what the late George Carlin would call a "real bullshit story".  It’s also a glaring example of one of the big downsides to our Internet society.  It’s an e-mail that a good friend of mine passed along to me that someone had forwarded to him and countless other people out there who now believe its contents as the gospel truth.  Too bad it’s a total pack of lies…

[NOTE: I didn’t alter any of the text, but I did clean up the author’s abominable punctuation!]

Perhaps there are SOME out there who are beginning to get "the picture".  The following is a narrative taken from Sunday Morning's televised "'Meet The Press" and the author is employed by none other than the Washington Post!!  Yeah......the Washington Post of New York and Los Angeles Times fame!!  Must say that I'm dually impressed..................

From Sunday's Televised "Meet the Press", Senator Obama was asked about his stance on the American Flag. [Obama Explains National Anthem Stance Sun, 07 Sept. 2008 11:48:04 EST], General Bill Ginn' USAF (ret.) asked Obama to explain why he doesn't follow protocol when the National Anthem is played.  The General also stated to the Senator that according to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171...  During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart.  At the very least, "Stand and Face It."Senator Obama Live on Sunday states, "As I've said about the flag pin, I don't want to be perceived as taking sides," Obama said. "There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression.  And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message.  You know, the ‘bombs bursting in air’ and all.  It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose.  I like the song "I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing." If that were our anthem, then I might salute it.  We should consider to reinvent our National Anthem as well as to redesign our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love.  It's my intention, if elected, to disarm America to the level of acceptance to our Middle East Brethren.  If we as a nation of warring people, should conduct ourselves as the nations of Islam, whereas peace prevails.  Perhaps a state or period of mutual concord between our governments.  When I become President, I will seek a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity, and a freedom from disquieting oppressive thoughts.  We as a Nation have placed upon the nations of Islam an unfair injustice.  My wife disrespects the Flag for many personal reasons.  Together she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past, many years ago.  She has her views and I have mine.  Of course now, I have found myself about to become the President of the United States and I have put aside my hatred.  I will use my power to bring CHANGE to this Nation, and offer the people a new path of hope.  My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country's First Family.  Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America."

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it right.  This could possibly be our next President. I, for one, am speechless.

I, too, would be speechless—if I actually believed this steaming pile of pigeon pellets!

There’s just one little problem with the above spiel—Sen. Obama never made these remarks!  A quick check of the "Meet The Press" transcripts (which can easily be found on msnbc.com) proves that neither Obama or this General Ginn character appeared on the show on September 7th.  Joltin’ Joe Biden was Tom Brokaw’s sole guest on that day, and even if Obama was indeed on the program, what the hell would this Ginn goomer be doing asking the questions?  That’s Brokaw’s (and formerly the late Tim Russert’s) job.  The cats over at snopes.com also shed plenty of light on this malarkey to explain how it got circulated in the first place.

Does anyone in their right mind think that Obama would really be THAT colossally stupid to make those remarks two months prior to the election?  It would be political suicide!  And even if he did say this crap, don’t you think the conservative media mongooses (mongeese?) like Bill O’Retard, Rush Limburger, Sean Calamity, (D)Ann Coulter, Michelle "Squawkin’" Malkin, et al, would’ve been all over this like flies on shit?  It’s all you would’ve heard on the nightly news for a freakin’ month!  Even if you despise Barack Obama with all your heart, you have to admit that this kind of deliberate misinformation that preys upon people’s biases and prejudices is downright irresponsible.  If you don’t like Obama (or any candidate, for that matter), then fine, but don’t just make up stuff to convince people not to vote for him!

Naturally, many of the recipients of e-mails like these WANT this stuff to be true so they can use it to justify their bias against on Obama instead of (or in addition to) just their usual hang-ups and/or ignorance in regards to him.  Shit, whoever wrote this thing could’ve claimed that Barack Obama also farts fire, owns white female teenage slaves and intends to appoint Michael Jackson as his Secretary of State if he’s elected, and they’d friggin’ believe it!  The Internet is a wonderful thing, but it can be a double-edged sword that allows misguided cretins to hide behind their computers and screen names, and I find it pathetic that so many people (including my friend) all too often base their political opinions on an e-mail originated by some schmuck that they probably never even met before passes along to them without even checking the facts.

As for the lapel pin thing, I covered this several months ago on here—I don’t give a damn if a candidate wears a flag pin on his lapel or a carnation that squirts water!  I wanna know what they plan to do to lead us out of the abyss we find ourselves in.  And as for the "Star Spangled Banner", I personally think it’s a stupid song—the melody is atrocious and it’s difficult for even trained professionals to sing, and like it or not, all you conservatives, it DOES make us sound like a bunch of war mongers to other nations.  I’ve long felt that "America The Beautiful" or "My Country ‘Tis of Thee" should be our National Anthem anyway—they’re much prettier songs in much the same vein as "Oh, Canada".  Then again, given the current state of our nation, perhaps "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones might be more appropriate.  But, I digress…

Getting back to the e-mail thing, sadly this kind of stuff also fosters hateful crap like this that our good friend Dr. Sardonicus posted over on his blog.  What sucks the most is there ain’t a damn thing we can do about it until people wise up and get educated about what’s what and who’s who.  I do give John McCain credit for attempting to muzzle some of his own followers who accuse Obama of being a terrorist.  Far too late to gain my vote at this point, but it goes to show he at least has some class and isn’t totally wretched.  So why does he continue to allow his own running mate, Ms. Winky Dink, to essentially do the same thing at her recent campaign stops?

And the band played on…

Well said!

I generally try not to pirate that which others have written, but a very recent letter on the op-ed page of the K.C. Star by Herman Kirkpatrick of Leawood, KS caught my eye, so I want to share it here in light blue (with my commentary in off-white)...

Writers, please:

• Stop putting "super" in front of the words model, star and athlete.
• Stop writing "I, for one," since you are never more than one.
• Stop using the word "hero" to describe every person in uniform.  It cheapens the word.  "Hero" should never be used when describing an athlete. [With the possible exceptions of the late Pat Tillman and Roberto Clemente]
• News networks, stop obsessing for days over one issue to the exclusion of other significant issues.  [This means YOU, Nancy Grace!]
• Stop the redundant bashing of President Bush.  It has already been said thousands of times, and is adequately recorded.  [Sorry, but sometimes I just can't help myself!]
• Stop thinking that your choice for president will change everything.
• Stop worrying about what the Europeans think.  They want to love us.
• Try to be more objective.  There is plenty of blame to share.
• Take more responsibility for yourself.  The government can't guarantee your happiness.
• TV stations, please stop multiple pictures, scrolls, and all that.  Cool it with the "breaking news" bit.  [This means YOU, Faux News Channel, ESPN, CNN, KCTV-5 in Kansas City, et al]
• Stop putting the suffix "gate" behind every scandal.  This is so camp.  [Amen, brother!]

And if may add, please 86 this whole "Wall Street/Main Street" garbage!  My town doesn't even have a Main Street, and I'm on 77th Terrace!