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COMMON SENSE (AND COURTESY) PREVAILS!
A wrong has been righted today as the Minnesota Vikings have decided not to take away the game check of wide receiver Troy Williamson, who took leave of the team last week to attend the funeral of his grandmother, to whom he was very close. The team initially threatened to fine Williamson a week's pay, even though he was granted leave from the team in order to make funeral arrangements and coordinate travel for his brothers, at least one of whom is in the armed services. Evidently, cooler heads have prevailed and head coach Brad Childress came forward today and openly admitted that the team screwed up here, and I commend him for it.
ICONS, SCHMICONS
I’m already cringing over the ads for TV Land’s latest upcoming pointless countdown show, "The Top 50 TV Icons of All-Time," which features Sarah Jessica Parker mixed in with other TV luminaries like A. Bunker and R. Kramden. Yes, I know these shows are designed to generate tons of debate and discussion around the water cooler at work the next day, but surely they jest! You mean to tell me that Mole-zilla from "Sex And The City" is in the same league with Mary Richards and Lucy Ricardo? I’ve always thought SATC was highly-overrated anyway—to me that show was an insufferable bore about four shallow, self-absorbed women on an inexorable quest to find the ultimate pair of strappy sandals! Sorry kids, but I thought SJP was much better on "Square Pegs" in the ‘80s, and Kim Cattrall will always be "Lassie" from Porky’s to me.
THE FORCE IS WITH US!
Congrats to the mighty Air Force Academy for dropping the Notre Dame Failing Irish to 1-9 today. Cheer up, all you little buckaroos in South Bend—I hear your debate team is really kicking ass this year!
EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN...
...why I'm supposed to give a shit about this white trash bounty hunter A&E reality show guy who hurled racial epithets at somebody in an interview. Is he like, important, or something?
SATAN?!?
Delicious irony tonight as the New York Islanders' Miroslav Satan scored the game-winning goal in a 2-1 win over the New Jersey Devils. Yes, I know the man's surname is pronounced "sha-TAN", but it's still funny to me.
NOT IMPRESSED
Just when I finally started respecting the Osmond family, I lost a bit of respect for them when Donny & Marie made the rounds on the talk shows following the death of their father this week, having pity parties with Oprah and Larry King. Do me a favor, kids, and don't play the "please respect our privacy" card after this. Oh by the way, I'm not buying that whole fainting spell bit that Marie pulled on "Dancing With The Has-Beens" last week, either—that was just another publicity stunt cooked up by the producers, just like last year when they had that one-legged bitch who was once married to Paul McCartney on their show. Pure hooey!
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #57
"Jet Airliner"--STEVE MILLER BAND (1977) "Why deny I got tears in my eyes..." I first thought Steve sang "Friday night—I got tears in my eyes..." which didn't make a whole lotta sense...
CLASSIC MISHEARD GENDER #1
"Hot Child In The City"—NICK GILDER (1978) Not a lyric, but a gender this time—did anyone else besides me think it was a chick singing the first time you heard this song? Even when I saw Nicky-boy on "American Bandstand", I wasn’t totally convinced he was really a guy because he was so girly-looking…
CLASSIC MISHEARD GENDER #2
"Jackie Blue"--OZARK MOUNTAIN DAREDEVILS (1975) I experienced the same phenomenon for several years with OMD’s classic "Jackie Blue"—I coulda swore that was a girl singing until I caught them on "The Midnight Special" and saw this tenor-voiced dude with a beard doing the lead vocals. Didn’t he sound like Anne Murray crossed with Joni Mitchell? Great song, too.
QUICK QUESTION
Is there anyone out there who would actually fork over 50 bucks (plus "convenience" charge) just to see Michael McDonald in concert? Evidently, Ameristar Casino thinks some people will. Nothing personal against MM—he’s a decent singer and seems like a nice guy and all—but I hardly think it’s worthwhile to spend half a c-note just to hear him warble "What A Fool Believes" and a bunch of tired old Motown songs all night. Oh well, to each their own…
WELL, SHUT MY MOUTH!
A little trivia for you, which even I didn't know until yesterday—Telma Hopkins of Tony Orlando & Dawn fame is the one who utters "Shut yo mouth!" on Isaac Hayes' classic "Theme From Shaft". They say that cat was a bad mutha, by the way...
"HER FACE IS CRACKED FROM SMILIN'..."
During a swing Downtown the other night, a billboard sign reminded me that this bitch was back on the air again on local radio. Ah yes, none other Ms. Holier-Than-Thou herself, Dr. Laura. Doesn't she remind you of those evil substitute teachers you got stuck with in elementary school? I'd sooner seek self-improvement advice from Paris Hilton...
THE ORANGE BOWL
Tomorrow will mark the end of an era as the Univ. of Miami plays its final football game ever at the venerable Orange Bowl, as the Hurricanes prepare to move in with the Dolphins in Broward County next season. The stadium has two more football games scheduled after this weekend, one involving another college and another for local high schools, and subsequently it will more than likely be demolished sometime next year.
Kinda sad to see the place go, as I’ve watched many a football game on the tube from the O-Bowl, like Doug Flutie’s "Hail Mary" in ’84 for Boston College, Nebraska going for two points to win the national title (and missing) in the ’84 Orange Bowl game, and the wild Chargers-Dolphins OT playoff game in ’82 when they had to drag Kellen Winslow off the field because he was so exhausted. I also remember always looking forward to seeing the Orange Bowl game halftime shows back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, which were usually pretty impressive spectacles for that time. Another cool feature in the early '70s was the live dolphin who retrieved Dolphins footballs after field goals in his big pool behind the goal post at the open end of the stadium. I also loved how some football card photos taken during games at that time featured the palm trees in the background from that end of the stadium. And of course, this is where the Dolphins played their famed undefeated season in 1972.
I was too young to remember seeing Namath and the Jets win Super Bowl III, but I remember all the other ones played there, including Super Bowl V when Jim O’Brien won it for the Colts on a last-second field goal, as well as Super Bowl X between the Steelers and Cowboys when Lynn Swann bedazzled everyone with his great catches. That actually turned out to be the last game ever played on one of the most hideous football fields in history, the dreaded ratty-looking PolyTurf artificial surface at the O-Bowl, which resembled a big ugly green shag carpet (see above video clip) that had been vacuumed one too many times—it was mercifully replaced by real grass the following season. S.B. X was also the basis for the infamous disaster flick Black Sunday, which was filmed at the O-Bowl, as was Smokey & The Bandit 2 and numerous other movies and TV shows. One dark memory of the Orange Bowl for me was December 8, 1980 when Howard Cosell broke the news about the murder of John Lennon from the "Monday Night Football" broadcast there. I still get a chill whenever I hear the audio replay of it, especially the way Howard uttered the words, "...DEAD on arrival."
Potential plans for a new Florida Marlins ballpark nextdoor to a renovated Orange Bowl keep falling through, and the place is becoming pretty decrepit in its old age, plus it’s not located in the best of neighborhoods, thus a date with the wrecking ball is sadly inevitable. The Orange Bowl has certainly served the football world well throughout the years, so its place in history is secure.
The very wrong Rev. Pat Robertson gave his endorsement to Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani this week. Being the good hypocrisy pointer-outer that I am, I’d be remiss if I didn’t make note of the fact that old Rudy is pro-abortion and all—can you say "flip-flop"? Seems to me that having Pat Robertson in your political corner is about as reassuring as having Barney Fife as the head of the CIA, but since I don't really give a rip about Rudy G. anyway, he can have the bastard!
Speaking of abortion, why is it they always refer to abortion clinics as "Family Planning Centers"? I even remember seeing a condom machine in the men’s room at a convenience store that was labeled "Family Planning Center". Wouldn’t "Family Avoiding Centers" be more accurate?
Anywhoo—I’ve been meaning to rip on ol’ Pat for quite some time now, and now is as good a time as any, so ladies and gents, please enjoy a sampling of Pat Robertson’s greatest hits.
MOTHER NATURE'S FINEST
I snapped this pic during a roadside stop along Hiway 34 between Estes Park and Loveland, which is a most bodacious scenic drive through the mountains for well over 20 miles. I had a blast driving through the twisty-turny road that essentially hugs the Big Thompson River, which really isn't all that big, but it is certainly very cool to look at, and it also illustrates what comedian Gallagher once said: "Water can make a decision!"
I'LL BE DAMMED
This is a little tourist trap place along the Big Thompson River at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains whose motto caught my eye. The dam wasn't terribly impressive, though...
PARKING FOR DICKS...
This would be the state-of-the-art soccer complex in the Denver suburb of Commerce City, better known as Dick's Sporting Goods Park. Our Kansas City Wizards are going to get one of these in the next couple years, and one can only hope that the Wizzes adopt a better-named corporate benefactor...
THE EVIL EMPIRE...
This is the House That Elway Built, aka "Invesco Field At Mile High", although I must admit it doesn't look quite so evil during such a beautiful sunset. The sunsets would've have been even prettier last week in the Mile High City, but for the lingering haze as a result of the recent California wildfires which drifted northeast-ward.
NOT PICTURED HERE...
...but well-worthy of mention. I want to give a shout out to Sam Taylor's BBQ restaurant in central Denver, which I paid a visit to, based on a web guide recommendation. Their ribs were a tad on the bland side, but their brisket was on a par with my local favorites, Gates & Sons and K.C. Masterpiece BBQ, as were their homemade potato chips. Well worth a visit, if you're in the Denver area, and Sam himself might even drop by your table and say hello, as he did with me. Darn good stuff, Maynard!
I CALLED IT!
I was right—Brett Favre does fuck up once in a while! He fumbled twice and threw two interceptions against El Chiefos on Sunday, one of which was an ill-advised pass near the end of the first half that allowed KC to score a gift TD and take the lead. Granted, BF also threw the game-winning TD in the 4th quarter and all, but he proved my point all the same. Don't get me wrong—I don't dislike Favre, but then again, the guy ain't as perfect as ESPN, Fox, NBC, et al, make him out to be...
IF A HOLLYWOOD WRITER FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NO ONE HEARS IT...
...will anyone notice? I can honestly say I am totally non-plussed by this writers strike in La-La Land. These are the same people who give us TV drivel like "Cavemen", "King of Queens" and "Yes, Dear" on a regular basis—the latter two of which feature fat slobs who are married to these friggin' babes, which is total science-fiction in my book. Ergo, why should I fret over these fuckers walking the picket lines? Besides, I have a backlog of old TV shows on DVD that I will enjoy for months to come whilst the rest of you are suffering through "reality" fare like "Dancing With The Has-Been Child Stars Who Are Now Living On Skid Row" (featuring Adam Rich and the girl who played Punky Brewster).
SOMEBODY GET ME A DOCTOR!!
I couldn't help but chuckle at Michelle Malkin's column from last week in which she made reference to The New York Times: "My blood pressure increases a few points every time I read it." Oddly enough, I experience this very same medical phenomenon whenever I read MM's columns...
BRILLIANT DIAGNOSIS
Rather humorous symptoms listed by a patient of ours at my job today: dizziness while "thinking". Now, I sure as hell ain't no physician here, but I do believe Ms. Malkin suffers from this very same medical phenomenon...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #56
"Car Wash"--ROSE ROYCE (1977) "There ain't no tellin' who you might meet--A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief.." Instead of Indian chief, I always thought she sang, "...or maybe even an idiot, too."
A GLARING OMISSION
It was brought to my attention last night as I watched the Chuck Berry documentary Hail! Hail! Rock 'N' Roll again that I inadvertently left his classic "Roll Over Beethoven" off my Top 15 Chuck Berry songs of all-time list that I posted last month. Feel free to tell Tchaikovsky the news that I had a major brain fart here, and I totally forgot this mighty mighty Rock 'N' Roll record, thus my Top 15 is now a Top (Sweet Little?) 16 instead...
During a swing Downtown the other night, a billboard sign reminded me that this bitch was back on the air again on local radio. Ah yes, none other Ms. Holier-Than-Thou herself, Dr. Laura. Doesn't she remind you of those evil substitute teachers you got stuck with in elementary school? I'd sooner seek self-improvement advice from Paris Hilton...
