Up and running again...

BACK TO WHERE I ONCE BELONGED
Sorry I haven’t blogged a whole lot lately, but I’ve been tied up with other stuff around the homestead this week.  The weather finally cooled off enough to enable me to move the computer and big TV out of my air-conditioned “dorm room” (bedroom) that I’ve spent the last three weeks hiding in, thus I’ve spent most of the day rearranging furniture and such.

BLAME IT ON THE DRAIN…
…as the Weird Al parody of Milli Vanilli’s “Blame It On The Rain” goes. I’ve also been in preparation for the “Big Dig” in my front yard next week to repair my collapsed sewer drain, which has rendered me literally without a pot to piss in.  Washing dishes is no problem—I have plastic sink tubs for that, as well as for sponge bathing in—and I never used my sewer drain for laundry anyway because the floor drain is so inefficient that it floods my laundry room, so I just shoot that water out my back door.  However, I’m most grateful to the person who invented the 5-gallon bucket, which serves as my temporary toilet and I’ve gotten to know the Conoco convenience store down the hill from me fairly well, which I use for #2 when the need arises.  Yes, I know—too much information…

WORK FOR A LIVING? WHATCHU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS?
Seems that disgraced Colorado minister Ted Haggard is having money problems.  Y‘all remember him, doncha?  He‘s the one who was outed for being gay, then later claimed he was cured and is now "100% heteroseks-shul" again following intensive counseling and rehab.  Well, seems that he and his wife are in the poor house and are asking their supporters for some financial assistance during this difficult time in their lives while they continue their Bible studies for the next two years or so.  I may be stating the blatantly obvious here, but I don’t suppose it ever occurred to this fucker or his little wifey to actually go out and get a real job, did it?  This is what kills me about these so-called religious “leaders”—their sense of entitlement, especially when it comes to money.  Fuck you, Rev.—get your sorry ass out and earn a living like the rest of us for once!

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #47
“Superstition”--STEVIE WONDER (1973)  “Very superstitious--ladder’s ‘bout to fall.”  Dopey 8-year-old me thought he sang, “Lettuce ‘bout to fall."  I always thought he sang “Superstition IS the way” instead of “ain’t” too.  Even dopier 8-year-old me didn't know that Stevie was blind when I first saw him on TV in 1973, so I thought he was merely being arrogant by constantly tossing his head around like he's prone to do.  I suppose I could make a joke like "I hope Stevie doesn't read this," here, but I won't...

SHOULD WE HOPE THEY DIE BEFORE THEY GET OLD?
“I know I piss a lot of people off when I say this, but I don’t like old people on a Rock ‘N’ Roll stage...me included.”—Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane/Starship on VH-1’s “Behind The Music”.

Have to admit that I was taken aback just a little the first time I heard Grace’s words on VH-1 a few years ago, but as time wears on, I’m beginning to see what she meant by that statement.  It really hit home with me last week at my hotel in Minnesota while watching some PBS show late at night featuring recent performances by mostly British Invasion acts, and it was downright sad how silly some of them looked singing these songs from 40 some-odd years ago like the elderly (original, I'm assuming) lead singer of The Troggs trying to groove to “Wild Thing” like he was still in his ‘20s.  Eric Burdon of The Animals now resembles little more to me than Paulie from the Rocky movies.  Ever look at the guys in Pink Floyd during recent concert videos?  No small wonder they rely so heavily on lazers and visual effects because they look like a bunch of old farts, especially David Gilmour.  True, there are still some bands that can still bring it even at their advanced ages, like the Stones, The Who (before Entwistle died, anyway) and Kiss (in whose case, the wigs and make-up can hide a multitude of sins), but it’s becoming painfully obvious that Rock ‘N’ Roll is not aging gracefully at all. For further proof, get a load of these two...

SPEAKING OF THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE…
Seems odd for a band like Van Halen who now wants to pretend it’s 1984 all over again, to be busy trying to erase former bassist Michael Anthony from everyone’s collective memories by removing his songwriting credits from the 1984 album in the ASCAP database, among other things.  Mikey, to his credit, is taking the high road in all this.  Read all about it here.

Roamin' The Dome

It's quite possibly the most reviled sports venue in the world this side of the dearly-departed Veterans Stadium in Philly or perhaps Olympic Stadium in Montreal, but ironically I've attended more Major League Baseball games at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis than any other ballpark except Kauffman Stadium and the recently-demolished Busch Stadium in St. Louis.  I paid yet another visit there Friday night as the Twins beat the Rangers 2-1 in 10 innings, and even though the place is unfit for baseball, I have a soft spot for it all the same, and I'm not sure why.  I think it might be the way the good people of Minnesota make the best of the situation there and make it as loud and unbearable for the opposing team as possible.  Still, I'll be so happy for those folks when they can once again go outside and watch baseball in the new Twins park in 2010—it's an absolute crime to be playing baseball indoors on such beautiful summer evenings like they have in the Upper Midwest.

About the only lucid thing the late Billy Martin ever uttered in his life was when he voiced his displeasure with the Metrodome, calling it a travesty to baseball, and adding, "It's too bad they named it after a great guy like Humphrey."  Strange irony that Martin's death was announced during a "Monday Night Football" broadcast of a Minnesota Vikings game that originated from the Metrodome on Christmas night, 1989.  Actually, the "Homerdome" isn't all that bad a football stadium, and as the Vikings continue to beg the state of Minnesota for money for a new stadium, I think they oughtta do like the group Parliament once advocated and "Tear The Roof Off The Sucker!"  Seems to me that after the Twins move to their new stadium, the Vikings could temporarily move in with the U. of Minnesota in 2009 when the Golden Gophers' new on-campus stadium is completed and just have the Metrodome de-roofed and retrofitted for outdoor football only, like in the Vikes' halcyon days at old Metropolitan Stadium.  Ain't never gonna happen, though...

As per my usual when I visit out-of-town stadiums, I didn't care about the game near as much as checking out the various nooks and crannies of the park itself, and the Metrodome has numerous features one won't find in any other stadium in the world.  Please enjoy my little pictorial tour...

This has to be the only baseball stadium in America with a roof that needs to be dry-cleaned!











"Great seats, eh, buddy?"—Part 1 [NOTE: I was actually sitting in the seat when I snapped this!]












In the words of B. Bunny:  "Watch out for that next step—it's a doozy!"

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

"Great seats, eh, buddy?"—Part 2. Can't even sit down, and that damn pole's in the way!

Don't look like no "Cinch-Sak" to me!  A side view of the infamous "Hefty Bag".

Now here's where they need a friggin' Hefty Bag!

I know those dudes!  Before or after a game at the Metrodome, a must-see is the unofficial gift shop just to the NE of the 'Dome, which doubles as a mini-museum of Twin Cities sports and music history.  It features some wonderful backstage photos of The Fab Four during their 1966 concert at old Metropolitan Stadium.  The store's owner also has numerous photos taken with practically every Country music artist known to man, including Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner, et al.

Back To The Ol' Grind (And Heat)

NO PLACE LIKE HOME
I returned home last night from the hinterlands of Minnesota (against my better judgment), only to find Kansas City just slightly cooler than when I left it on Thursday morning.  I struggled mightily with the decision yesterday on whether to stay in Minnesota one more day or not, but I gotta tell ya, folks, the trip was worth it just for the weather alone—I awoke to temps in the '50s and rain yesterday, and fucking loved it!!  I even spotted an attractive young lady working at Barnes & Noble in downtown Minneapolis wearing boots yesterday—impressive for August!  If it weren't for those dreadful winters up that way, I'd move to the Twin Cities in a heartbeat.  Photos to come later when I feel like fighting with Blogspot's publisher function thing...

A PLACE WE CALL THE ZOO...
I hit the mighty Mall of America in suburban Bloomington again yesterday.  On a normal August Saturday, the place is a clusterfuck, but on an August Saturday when it's raining and they're celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Minnesota Twins' 1987 World Champions, the place is a freakin' zoo!  Wall-to-wall people all over, and I had to do a fair amount of calisthenics to negotiate my way around, but the place is well worth a visit if you haven't been there before.

ALMOST FAMOUS...
While I was at MOA, I checked out Famous Dave's barbecue emporium for lunch, and was quite impressed with their meaty delights.  Dandy brisket, dandy ribs and dandy sides (corn on the cob, mashed taters, fries, etc.).  I'd put these folks right up there with local faves Gates and K.C. Masterpiece, and that's truly sayin' something, coming from a Kansas Citian.  Come to find out after getting back home that we have a Famous D's right here in the area out by the Kansas Speedway that I wasn't even aware of.  Must pay them a visit soon...

WHAT A CROC!
I once swore that I'd never buy a pair of these things, but I caved in during my road trip and picked up the Paylessshoesource knock-off version of Crocs, and I gotta admit, these damn things are very comfortable.  Ugly as Joan Rivers (and her ugly-ass daughter), but so very comfortable.  Great for wearing around the house, if nothing else...

GETTING REAMED
Meantime, back on the homefront, attempts by a professional plumber at unclogging my troublesome sewer drain pipe proved to be futile, and it appears I have a collapsed sewer drain pipe in my front yard, therefore, I literally don't have a pot to piss in at the moment.  The plumbers are wanting 2,500 semolians to excavate my front yard and replace said pipe, but yours truly is bull-headed enough that he's going to dig the bloody hole and fix the damn thing himself.  Yes, I'm that stubborn.  Who knows—maybe I'll find Jimmy Hoffa while I'm at it...

R.I.P., SCOOTER
I'm hardly a New York Yankees fan, but I do respect their history, and want to acknowledge the passing of Hall of Fame shortstop/announcer Phil Rizzuto last week.  Youse Rock 'N' Roll fans know of Rizzuto's work as well, as he did the "play-by-play" on Meat Loaf's classic "Paradise By The Dashboard Light", the double-entendre of which "Scooter" was apparently totally unaware of when he recorded it.  "Holy Cow!" was his signature call (as was Harry Caray's), and he was well-loved in Gotham City.

DUBBA-DUB-DUB...
I'm just a tad disappointed with the new Kissology, Volume II DVD set, as it appears that Paul Stanley hath overdubbed new vocals for a couple or three songs during the semi-legendary 1980 Sydney, Australia concert, especially on "Shandi" and "I Was Made For Lovin' You"—there ain't no fucking way he'd sound that polished live in concert!  During IWMFLY, when he sings "You were made for loving me...", you can clearly see that his mouth remains open on "me" well after his vocal stops.  I'm also chafed that they only included the first segment of the infamous Tom Snyder interview from Halloween, 1979.  Still, this fucker is worth it alone for the dreaded cinematic classic Kiss Meets The Phantom.  In the words of The Starchild:  "Easy, Catman--they are serious!"  Excellent tribute to the late Eric Carr as well (who was unable to re-dub his vocals for rather obvious reasons)...

Just as an aside, watch the "Shandi" video and note what happens at the :47 mark.  As Robin Williams said in Good Morning, Vietnam, "Flip them the bird!!"  Just as another aside, check out "She's So European" and note the following:  1) How Gene Simmons sounds like Billy Joel on the vocals;  2) How Ace's cape looks like a shower curtain when he turns his back to the camera; and 3) How Paul's guitar bears more than a strong resemblance to Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA's axe in the old "Waterloo" video!

VH UPDATE
I gathered some new info in regards to my query on the blog the other day in my Van Halen post about why bassist Michael Anthony is no longer with the band.  I stumbled across a brand new book at Barnes & Noble yesterday on the Van Halen saga, most-appropriately titled The Van Halen Saga (damn, why didn't I think of that?).  Seems that Mikey's departure has to do with Eddie's disgruntlement with his participation in tours with Sammy Hagar and other outside projects—in spite of the veritable dearth of activity in the Van Halen camp since 1995 or so.  Downright petty on EVH's part, I dare say.  I only thumbed through the book, but it appeared to be a good read.  I ain't paying $26 for the hard-cover version, tho...