Saturday, March 17, 2007

Saturday Night's Alright For Blogging

"ROME IS BURNING"
So said Pete Townshend, a keynote speaker at this week's 21st annual South By Southwest Music conference in Austin, TX (aka, "SxSW"), accurately summing up the current state of the music industry.  Music moguls are bemoaning the worst month on record in January, with a sales drop of 40% compared to ten years ago.  All the record companies are pissing their pants over this and don't have a clue what to do about it.

May I make a little suggestion?  TRY PUTTING OUT A BETTER PRODUCT!  Look at the new music we have to pick from these days—crappy lip-synchers, boy bands, Hip-Hop/Rap crap, "American Idol" castoffs and people like Rod Stewart warbling cover versions of Geritol-generation songs (this is the same guy that did "Hot Legs"?).  I'd really like to see the record company suits encourage classic Rock bands to put out NEW material again.  Apart from that new (underwhelming) Who CD, I can't remember when I bought a CD of new material from any of my favorite bands in the last five years—all the product out there now is nothing but greatest hits and re-issues!  Take Kiss for example:  Since their last album of new material—Psycho Circus in 1998—there have been four best-of releases, a box set, and a live CD.  Hell, the Moody Blues have more greatest hits albums now than they have original studio albums!

I'd also like to see the music industry do a better job of finding talented bands and nurturing them.  I'm fucking desperate for a good young Rock band—a 21st Century equivalent to Van Halen, let's say—because I'm so sick of this White Trash noise that passes for Rock today like Korn, Limp Biskit and Godsmack.  Surely, the music industry can at least come up with something better than Kid Rock!

SPEAKING OF CDs...
One greatest hits CD I did buy this week was by a Kansas City band named Shooting Star.  For the uninitiated out there, Shooting Star was sort of a poor man's Kansas, only a little edgier, who kinda sorta hit it big around these parts in the early '80s.  It was great to hear some stuff again that I hadn't heard in ages like "Hang On For Your Life" and "Hollywood", and my favorite of theirs, "Bring It On".

Shooting Star was a bit of a missing link in my oversized CD collection, but given the dearth of good new material from my favorite bands, and given the same old shit ad nauseam on the radio, revisiting the past is about my only option for finding good stuff to listen to.  Toward that end, I also recently set about to play every CD I own back-to-back alphabetically by artist.  I started with AC/DC about a month ago, and I'm only up to Deep Purple so far, which gives you an idea how ridiculously large my collection is.  I could literally start my own radio station, if I wanted to...

SPEAKING OF CDs..., PART II
You want to know who the most evil bastard in the world is.  No, it's NOT Osama bin Laden or Dick Cheney or even Dubya.  No, it's the horse's patoot who invented those damn label things they seal CDs and DVDs with!  I've spent countless hours fighting with those modern inconveniences just to get to my new CDs/DVDs.  String the fucker up by his nut sack, I say!

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #17
Special guest contributor time for this one:  Billy Joe Jim-Bob, a redneck from Belton, MO, who called up Skid Roadie (my #2 favorite DJ of all-time, behind Randy Raley) on 101, The Fox one day, and said, "Could you play that song—I think it's by one of them guys in The Who—all about livin' in the Bronx?"  Well, it took Skid a few minutes to decipher which song that was, which of course, is "Eminence Front" (1982)!  Simply replace the chorus with "Livin' in the Bronx/Livin' in the Bronx..."  It's a put-on, alright!  And Billy Joe's day was made...

YOU TUBE RULES!
Unless you’ve been in a cave with the current Geico spokespeople for the last year or so, you’ve no doubt paid a visit or two to YouTube on the ‘net.  As time goes on, it gets better and better as more stuff gets added to the site. I initially only thought of it as merely a place where people post their amateur webcam videos—it didn’t occur to me until just recently what a treasure trove of stuff from TV and movies can be found on it. 

I spent several blissful hours the other night watching old videos from the early MTV days that I hadn’t seen in years—Bow Wow Wow, for instance—as well as some long lost video clips of Paul Revere & The Raiders from the ‘60s that I haven’t seen since I was like five years old, if I ever saw them at all.  I also enjoyed some Van Halen videos from back in the day, too, like "Hear About It Later" and "Unchained", et al, the likes of which they SHOULD have used at the Hall of Fame thing the other night, as well as several professionally-shot bootleg vids.  Most boffo...

We'd best enjoy YouTube while we can, though—it's only a matter of time before they Napster-ize it and make it a pay-per-view site…

It really makes you wonder...

Time to get serious for a bit, here.  I've been doing a lot of thinking this week about Brad Delp's suicide last weekend.  It's one of those deals that just leaves you scratching your head.

Personality-wise, the members of Boston were always kind of a mystery to me.  Unlike other groups of that era like Kiss, Van Halen, Aerosmith, et al, about whom I knew pretty much all there was to know, Boston kinda flew under the radar, thus I knew very little about Brad Delp's personal life prior to this week.  All accounts have painted him as a truly nice man who was most accomodating to his fans and very cooperative to work with as a musician, and we already know that he was a talented individual, and well-respected in music circles.  He evidently took care of himself (he was a vegetarian), had no apparent alcohol or drug problems, and his family life seemed on the upswing with his impending marriage.

So what on earth was it that led to him taking his own life in such a pre-meditated way?  Based on the contents of the suicide notes he left behind, Delp was bound and determined to kill himself, going so far as having a "Plan B" in case "Plan A" failed.  It's hard to believe that there were no outward signs of how deep his depression was, although some people are very adept at masking such things, I guess.  Unless I'm missing some important details here, Brad Delp apparently had no "cry for help" in the days/weeks leading up to his death.  It'd be easy to say that he just "snapped", but given the meticulous nature and thoroughness of his suicide—he even had the consideration to warn the EMT's about potential carbon monoxide danger in one of his notes—this doesn't strike me as an impulsive act.  I can only speculate that something in the wiring of his brain just went terribly wrong a while back and it just festered because it's like he went out of his way to kill himself, and that's what makes this whole thing so bizarre.

I've fought depression off-and-on for years, but I have never even approached that level of despair to the point of wanting to just end it all, and even if I did approach that level, I'd like to think that I would at least try to seek help first.  I don't think I'd have the guts to commit suicide, anyway, but if I ever try it, I hope someone's there to head me off at the pass.  Brad Delp had no such guardian angel, apparently.

Rest in peace, Brad.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Kill it before it grows...

The hair, I mean, not Macy Gray!  Don't tell me she actually paid someone to do that to her hair...


Looks like she also had some sort of waredrobe malfunction there.

And here we have Phil(lis) Spector, who apparently frequents the same salon!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Newts and notes

GET WELL SOON, ROGER
The Who's Roger Daltrey barely got through one song last night in Tampa before they had to pull the plug on the concert because he's battling bronchitis—most definitely a hindrance to singing!  I wish him well and a speedy recovery, although I still haven't totally forgiven Rog for some rather disparaging remarks he made about John Entwistle following his untimely death, as well as Daltrey's refusal to take part in the 2005 DVD documentary on The Ox.  At least Pete Townshend was accomodating enough to participate and honor the greatest bass player/connect-the-dots artist that ever lived.  Come on, Roger—lighten up!

"ANGELINA JOLIE IN VIETNAM TO PICK UP NEW CHILD"
If I may quote the above-mentioned Chairman Townshend: "Why should I care? WHY should I care?"

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #16
"Elected"—ALICE COOPER (1972) "Kids need a savior—don’t need a fake."  I always thought he was singing "Don’t be afraid," which would fit in there fine, but I guess "don’t need a fake" works okay.  Killer song, too...

While I’m on the subject of Alice, have you ever noticed that odd "click" sound near the end of "Be My Lover"?  It comes right after Alice sings, "and I’m still on my own."  Seems that the drummer was being a hot dog in the studio and started twirling his sticks as if he was on-stage, and he fumbled…

THE DAY THE MUSIC WAS SHOT?-UPDATE
Well, whaddya know?  The Big Bopper died as a result of the plane crash, not gunfire!  YA THINK?!?  If you want details, you can read all about it here.  You see, the plane fell out of the sky, hit the ground real fucking hard and he died, just like Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the pilot did.  Damn, I should work in forensics!  Anyway, there was no gunfire, and even if there was, does it really even matter now, 48 years after the fact?  This whole exhumation exercise was about as pointless as waving at Stevie Wonder…

You call these "Stars"?

Normally, I try to avoid the subject of "reality" TV, but I got a chuckle out of the ad in ‘Entertainment Weakly’ for ABC’s "Dancing With The Has-Beens", and its line-up of "stars":

Apolo Anton Ohno:  He’s that Olympic fast-track speed-skater dude, so falling on his ass will be nothing new to him—it’s the norm rather than the exception in that sport.
Billy Ray Cyrus:  Ol’ Mullet Head?  Delicious irony here—during a live version of his hit "Memphis In The Meantime", my man John Hiatt once sang, "I don’t think Billy Ray Cyrus is gonna ever record this song…" in place of his original Ronnie Milsap lyric, and also facetiously tacked on, "But, oh how that man could dance!"
Heather Mills:  One-legged gold-digger who wants to put Paul McCartney in the poor house?  If this bitch can suddenly dance, then what the hell does she need handicapped tags on her car for?  She’s officially listed as "Activist" in the print ad.  Ralph Nader’s an activist too, but that doesn’t make him a "star" (or a dancer).
Ian Ziering:  Blondie from "90210"?  Ten years ago, one might have considered him to be a star of at least minor magnitude, but pretty much all the of the "90210" gang are has-beens now…
Joey Fatone:  Who?  Is that pronounced "Fa-tony" or "Fat-One"?  Isn't he one of the "Sopranos"?  Oh wait—he was with N'Snyc.  Same thing...
John Ratzenberger:  Loved him as Cliffy, but "Cheers" went off the air 15 years ago.  Apart from his voice-over work in the Toy Story flicks, he hasn't done squat since...
Laila Ali:  The chick boxer?  Well, her old man was a pretty good dancer…
Leeza Gibbons:  Former "Entertainment Tonight" part-timer and cheesy talk show hostess?  Yep, she’s a hoofer, alright…
Paulina Porizkova:  Scrawny supermodel most famous for being married to equally-

scrawny Ric Ocasek of The Cars?  Hardly an A-lister...

Who they gonna trot out for next season, the "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" guy?  Come to think of it, it's not a stretch to imagine a lineup that includes the likes of:

Adrian Zmed
Jared from Subway
Rickie Lee Jones
Jeff Conaway from "Taxi"
Gunther from "Friends"
The bee girl from the Blind Melon video
Abe Vigoda
The two dorks in the mini-van on the Sonic commercials
Dee from "What's Happening?"
Susie Chapstick
The guy who played Chuck on "Happy Days"


These, and many many more!


In the words of Lemmy from Motorhead:  "Don't try to dance to this--you'll fuck your legs up...

Gotta have Heart...

Well, the odyssey is over—I finally managed to get through the Captain & Tennille DVD set in its entirety—do I get some sort of medal for this?  Actually, the last three episodes were a tad more tolerable—at least they weren’t loaded with guests from other ABC shows like the first half of the season.  Instead, viewers were treated to a mixed bag of impressionists (Rich Little, John Byner), singers (Leo Sayer, Natalie Cole, Dionne Warwick, Englebert Whats-his-dinck), toupee-wearers (George Burns, Roy Clark, Don Knotts) and old fart comedian Henny Youngman.  He was a has-been then—was that guy EVER funny in the first place?  There was also an appearance by David Gates & Bread, whose career was pretty much toast by that time.  Get it?  Toast!!!  Har-de-har-har...

And I finally got to see what I came here for in the first place—Heart’s first appearance on national TV, although it was rather underwhelming.  They lip-synched "Dreamboat Annie" after segue-ing from the acoustic guitar intro to "Crazy On You" (why they didn’t do that one or "Magic Man", I’m rather curious), and it was kind of odd to see a svelte and thin Ann Wilson in a blue dress.  Don't get me wrong, I’m not picking on her here like so many people did/do—I understand all the crap she’s been through on the weight thing.  And I can honestly say it didn’t bother me at all when she started getting big—I still thought she looked really cute circa. 1985-87 (although the multi-colored big hair was a bit of a detriment).  It wasn’t until she approached Mama Cass-size that there was cause for concern—I remember seeing Heart on David Letterman circa. 1991-92, and Ann was so obese that she no longer even looked healthy.  Happily, she’s in a lot better condition now.  Methinks you could make a good case for Heart for the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame too.  Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.  Say no more…

My All-time Heart Top Five: 1) "Barracuda", 2) "If Looks Could Kill", 3) "Crazy On You", 4) "Kick It Out", 5) "Who Will You Run To?"

While I’m on Heart, a little trivia for you:  Next time you watch Fast Times At Ridgemont High, check out the girl driving the car that pulls up alongside Brad (Judge Reinhold) while he’s wearing the dorky pirate hat during his fish-and-chips delivery run—that’s Nancy Wilson of Heart.  You see, she’s married to writer/director Cameron Crowe, the man also kinda sorta famous for Almost Famous.

Sadly, there was more to the story...

From AP:  "The family of Brad Delp, the lead singer for the band Boston, said his death was a suicide.  'He was a man who gave all he had to give to everyone around him, whether family, friends, fans or strangers,' the family said in a statement relayed by police Wednesday.  'He gave as long as he could, as best he could, and he was very tired.  We take comfort in knowing that he is now, at last, at peace.'  Delp also left two notes taped to a door and letters to his family and Sullivan.  Baldwin said police do not know the contents of the letters."

Unbelievable.  I'm going to have to let this latest development sink in a while before I comment on it.  Tragic, very tragic...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Hall of Shame?

Last night’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony was a strange affair, to put it kindly.  VH-1 Classic aired it live for the first time, and now I can see why they’ve always taped and edited it down for later broadcast.  This interminable affair outlasted this year’s Oscar ceremony by a good 25 minutes at four hours and ten minutes, and it contained as many awkward moments as it did highlights.  A little recap for you:
  • The evening began with a montage similar to the one from the Oscars of those music people who passed away over the last year.  A Gold Star to the HOF people for even being up-to-date enough to include Brad Delp…
  • It was very fitting that they paid tribute to Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun, but it didn’t need to take up 30 minutes of the show.  Aretha Franklin sang in his honor, and she sounded like shit.  I know this will probably piss some people off when I say this, but I think she’s highly overrated anyway—she was good, but not THAT good!  If you want soulful, go with my girl Dusty Springfield…
  • The unsinkable Keith Richards (he’s going to outlive us all, somehow!) was the presenter for the Ronettes.  Does anyone know why he wears those Christmas ornaments/fishing tackle in his hair?  Whatever it is, it looks really dorky.  Looks like Keef’s been dipping into the Grecian Formula 16 too…
  • I was surprised and impressed to see that Ronnie Spector has lost a lot of weight.  Last time I saw her on TV, she was about as big as Ann Wilson at her heaviest, but now Ronnie’s somewhere between that and her size when she was in the Eddie Money video.  Was also surprised to hear that she can still bring it, vocally.  But, for someone with such a great singing voice, she has a dreadful speaking voice—she sounds like Fran Drescher with a head cold when she talks!  Spector also fumbled through this big-ass list of names of people to thank, and kept losing her place.  Springsteen did the same thing a few years back—reading off some 3 x 5 cards (poorly)—and he looked rather foolish.  You’d think these people would at least practice their acceptance speeches a couple times—it’s not like they don’t have time to rehearse.
  • Okay, I was against Patti Smith being inducted in the first place so I’m a little biased, but if she’s so bloody great, then why didn’t she perform more of her own songs instead of doing the Stones’ "Gimme Shelter"?  Class acts like Deep Purple and the Moody Blues are passed over in favor of this?  Why?  But, I’ve been through all that already (see my mid-December RNRHOF rant).
  • I could have done without Rev. Al Sharpton’s tribute speech on James Brown.  Actually, I think the whole world could do without Rev. Al Sharpton, period…
  • I could also have done without VH-1 "reporter" Aamer Haleem’s unnecessary interruptions.  This cow-eyed bozo is the 21st century version of Kurt Loder.
  • I’m sure under more favorable circumstances, they would have saved Van Halen for last, but VH was inducted third.  See my separate post for the Van Halen saga…
  • Next came Gaspasser Flash and the Fucked-up Five, or whatever their name is.  Sorry kids, but I refuse to recognize this garbage as music.  This is not a racial thing, either—I love good Soul and R&B music as much as anyone—but, Rap is NOT music in my book, and it’s a travesty to me that these goomers are in the ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Hall of Fame.  However, I was rather tickled by the tepid reception these clowns got from the audience following their "performance".
  • Presenter Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam droned on and on during his 15-minute filibuster about R.E.M. before they finally were inducted.  I still think R.E.M. has a little more to prove before they are Hall-worthy, but that’s just me.  Their performance was pretty uneven too.
  • Then of course, there was the obligatory all-star jam for the finale—I hate these!  You wind up with six guitar players, three bass players, two or three drummers and ten different people tripping over each other to get to a microphone and sing a line or two, and it sounds like total crap!  Then again, that seemed to be the theme of the evening this time, so it was fitting...

The Van Halen Saga, Continued

What should have been a celebration of one of greatest Rock ‘N’ Roll bands of all-time turned out to be a very sordid affair, at best.  As a veteran of over 100 Rock concerts over the last 28 years, I have never seen a crowd get more excited and pumped for a concert to begin than at a Van Halen show.  Even the anticipation at all the Kiss shows I’ve seen never matched what these guys could generate during their prime.  I saw Van Halen live seven times (four with Dave and three with Sammy), and nearly all of them were phenomenal shows, and their records are staples of my collection.  So, what the fuck was this train wreck last night as they were inducted into the Hall of Fame?  As a longtime Van Halen fan, I'm very embarrassed by the way this whole thing was handled.

I read today that David Lee Roth boycotted the event over a dispute because they wouldn't let him perform "Jump".  Figures.  Nice going, Dave—if you were any kind of man at all, you had a chance to be the hero here and save the day when Eddie was unable to, but naturally, you just had to be your usual immature dickhead self.  And you wonder why you’ve fallen so far out of favor with the fans?  As for your plummeting career, I think that guy in one of your videos summed it up succinctly: "Forget about it, Dave!"

At least Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony took the high road and showed up, although both of them stumbled through their acceptance speeches.  But, they didn’t stumble nearly as badly as Velvet Revolver did playing "Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love", and especially the half-assed version of "Runaround" (a questionable selection, anyway) where the dumbass former Stone Temple Pilots singer Scott Weiland could only manage to sing that difficult chorus of "Round-round-and-round" several times.  Don't believe me?  Watch it for yourself here.  During the pregnant pause following that song, I could actually hear people in the audience laughing!  Then Paul Shaffer—emcee of the show—started playing his synthesizer, and Sammy and Mikey ambled on to the stage to do a very flat version of one of my least favorite Hagar-era songs, "Why Can’t This Be Love?".  As I’ve said on here before—it pays to rehearse, fellas!

All in all, the timing of this whole thing couldn’t have been worse. Eddie Van Halen’s problems are well-documented—at least he had an excuse for not showing up—and his first priority should be to get his life back together, then deal with the band, and its members.  I wonder if it might have been possible to postpone the band’s induction until next year, perhaps, when Ed is hopefully able to get his shit back together and, as both Sammy and Mike said last night, "be our buddy" again.  Let’s just hope there’s a happy ending somewhere down the road, and this once-proud band can return from the musical wilderness it’s been lost in for the last 15 years or so.  Meantime, what went down last night was an absolute joke, not to mention an insult to the band's legion of fans.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Great Seats, eh Buddy?--An ersatz tribute to Bob Uecker


I took this photo in the upper reaches of the old St. Louis Arena circa. 1990.  These were our seats for a Blues game, and they didn't tell us about that bloody beam when I bought the tickets!  That's my friend Tom aiming his camera at someone and our friend Sean with his legs crossed.  Tom could not see the left end of the hockey rink and from where I sat, I couldn't see the right side.  Fortunately, all the scoring took place on my end in the N.Y. Rangers' 5-0 skunking of the Blues that night.  Not long after I took this photo, the St. Louis Gestapo told us to put our cameras away, citing a Communist NHL policy banning picture taking during games.  In spite of the crappy seats and over-zealous security staff, I loved that old building, which I plan to pay tribute to in a future blog entry.


Next, I take you to venerable Boston Garden, aka "The Gaaa-den", where I snapped this photo while I roamed the building during pre-game warm-ups in March, 1994.  Believe it or not, I was sitting in a grandstand seat when I took this—you could have paid money to watch half a hockey game there, if you really wanted to!  Our seats were actually on the end to the right behind the goal, and even then the upper deck overhang blocked part of the glass at the opposite end of the rink.  Evidently, sightlines were merely an afterthought in arena and stadium design back in the late 1920's...

Monday x 2

YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOLKS!
The 2007 NCAA Final Four participants will be Wisconsin, Kansas, Ohio St. and North Carolina.  I have all the #1 seeds making it except Florida, who will fail to defend their title and lose to the Badgers of Wisconsin.  And in the finals, U.N.C.’s Roy Williams will beat his former school, K.U., and I’ll have to endure all the whine-and-cheese party crowd (aka K.U. fans) bitching about him for another whole year…

WE DISTORT, THEN DERIDE, STARDATE 031207.5
Faux News Channel President Roger Ailes couldn’t help but notice the similarity between Barack Obama’s surname and Osama bin Laden’s first name last Thursday at the Radio & Television News Directors Association Foundation event in Washington.  "Funny Man Roger" quipped, "And it is true that Barack is on the move.  I don’t know if it’s true that President Bush called (Pakistani President) Musharraf and said, ‘Why can’t we catch this guy?’"  Given Dubya’s intelligence level, I’m not so certain that a phone call like that hasn’t actually taken place!

Anyone care to guess how long it’ll be before Fox News Channel starts saying that Obama looks French?

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #15
"Saturday In The Park"—CHICAGO (1972) "A Bronx man still can tell stories his own way…" When I was eight, I’d never heard of Da Bronx, so I thought Robert Lamm was singing about a "bronze" man!

CLOWNS TO THE LEFT OF ME, JOKERS TO THE RIGHT...
In best Les Nessman tradition, a medical records person I work with pronounced the name Sean "seen" and the name Danielle "Daniel" today.  This gives you an idea of the typical I.Q. levels I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Heaven help us if we ever have a patient named Chi Chi Rodriguez...

SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE YOU LISTENING?
Speaking of co-workers, does anyone know of a tactful way to tell a female co-worker to lose the damn charm bracelets already?  My mom wears those damn things too, and they drive me nuts!  Our co-worker sounds almost as if she's carrying a damn tambourine around all day, and it's every bit as irritating as Joan Rivers' voice...

I WAS GOING TO...
...do a wrap-up on the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony tonight, but they just passed this year's Oscar ceremony a couple minutes ago for longevity, and this thing is far from over!  Gaspasser Flash is being inducted now (some guy is thanking his "moms" at the moment), and R.E.M. is yet to come.  The Van Halen induction was surreal, at best, ignominious at worst.  Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony were they only two VH members to attend.  Full report forthcoming tomorrow or whenever this show ends, whichever comes first...