Monday x 2

YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOLKS!
The 2007 NCAA Final Four participants will be Wisconsin, Kansas, Ohio St. and North Carolina.  I have all the #1 seeds making it except Florida, who will fail to defend their title and lose to the Badgers of Wisconsin.  And in the finals, U.N.C.’s Roy Williams will beat his former school, K.U., and I’ll have to endure all the whine-and-cheese party crowd (aka K.U. fans) bitching about him for another whole year…

WE DISTORT, THEN DERIDE, STARDATE 031207.5
Faux News Channel President Roger Ailes couldn’t help but notice the similarity between Barack Obama’s surname and Osama bin Laden’s first name last Thursday at the Radio & Television News Directors Association Foundation event in Washington.  "Funny Man Roger" quipped, "And it is true that Barack is on the move.  I don’t know if it’s true that President Bush called (Pakistani President) Musharraf and said, ‘Why can’t we catch this guy?’"  Given Dubya’s intelligence level, I’m not so certain that a phone call like that hasn’t actually taken place!

Anyone care to guess how long it’ll be before Fox News Channel starts saying that Obama looks French?

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #15
"Saturday In The Park"—CHICAGO (1972) "A Bronx man still can tell stories his own way…" When I was eight, I’d never heard of Da Bronx, so I thought Robert Lamm was singing about a "bronze" man!

CLOWNS TO THE LEFT OF ME, JOKERS TO THE RIGHT...
In best Les Nessman tradition, a medical records person I work with pronounced the name Sean "seen" and the name Danielle "Daniel" today.  This gives you an idea of the typical I.Q. levels I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Heaven help us if we ever have a patient named Chi Chi Rodriguez...

SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE YOU LISTENING?
Speaking of co-workers, does anyone know of a tactful way to tell a female co-worker to lose the damn charm bracelets already?  My mom wears those damn things too, and they drive me nuts!  Our co-worker sounds almost as if she's carrying a damn tambourine around all day, and it's every bit as irritating as Joan Rivers' voice...

I WAS GOING TO...
...do a wrap-up on the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony tonight, but they just passed this year's Oscar ceremony a couple minutes ago for longevity, and this thing is far from over!  Gaspasser Flash is being inducted now (some guy is thanking his "moms" at the moment), and R.E.M. is yet to come.  The Van Halen induction was surreal, at best, ignominious at worst.  Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony were they only two VH members to attend.  Full report forthcoming tomorrow or whenever this show ends, whichever comes first...