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CSI: DALLAS
Here be the site of the world's original "Nightmare On Elm Street", outside the Texas Book Depository Building in Dallas (or "Suppository" as the dude in Full Metal Jacket called it). I have an airtight alibi--I was in the womb when JKF was assassinated, but I have to say that Lee Harvey Oswald was one helluva shot to be able to nail a moving target from that distance (twice). Hovever, I think he had a little help, as well. Hard to believe next year will be the 50th anniversary too.
"LOOK THROUGH ANY WINDOW...WHAT DO YOU SEE?"
Here's a look at Oswald's perch in the Book Suppository Building. I highly recommend a visit to the 6th Floor Museum thereof. It starts you in the back of the building and you make your way through a labyrinth of photos and exhibits about the Kennedy Administration and the world in general of the early '60s. You eventually are led to corner window where LHO did his dirty work, of course, but the only downside is they're real anal about taking photos inside the museum, for some reason. Very educational, all the same.
X MARKS THE SPOT...
...literally, of where John F. Kennedy was shot, in the middle of Elm Street. It's amazing how the Dealey Plaza area has remained pretty much unchanged in almost 50 years, although you may notice that the "grassy knoll" across the road ain't so grassy these days. When I drove away from the area after my museum tour, it felt kinda creepy driving over that X in the road, and I won't deny I was looking over my right shoulder in case someone was taking aim at me and my Grand Marquis!
WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING WARREN COMMISSION...
...we got all the answers right here! Never ceases to amaze me how these crackpots are able to con people into buying their leaflets and propaganda in regards to the Kennedy assassination. Just another reminder that P.T. Barnum was right about the 60-second reproduction rate of suckers...
IT'S A BLOODY REUNION...
Fans of J.R. Ewing and the TV show Dallas are no doubt familiar with this sight, Reunion Tower and glass palace Hyatt Regency next door. Once upon a time, the tower housed a radio station whose studios were visible to the public, which would've driven me nuts if I was deejay-ing there with people constantly gawking at me. There was also a time when you could ride up to the observation deck and get some killer views of downtown, the Kennedy sites and about half of Texas, but that is no longer the case. They closed off the deck in 2009 and never re-opened it, and the only way you can go up in the tower now is if you want to waste your hard-earned money on overpriced (and overrated) Wolfgang Puck food at his hoity-toity restaurant. Give me Waffle House any day over that pigeon food...
"MAKE SURE THEY GET YOUR GOOD SIDE, GOOD SIDE..."
Is there not a more famous profile in football history? This is the very accurate statue of legendary Dallas Cowboys head coach Tom Landry, which now stands guard outside of Cowboys Stadium in Arlington. More about "Jerry World" forthcoming soon in Episode 6...
UNFORGETTABLE...
I'd been there before, but I remembered to make it a point to stop by the Alamo in San Antonio again on the 2012 WWTT. My trusty and ever-prescient iPod has a good memory too--as I approached the Alamo on foot, without any provocation from me, Mr. iPod kicked in with an Ozzy Osbourne song. Long about 30 years ago, the Prince of Darkness got pissed as a newt while staying in San Antone, and summarily took a whiz on the famed landmark, which landed him in the pokey for the night.
"GIMME SOME OF YOUR FINE FAMOUS BAR-B-Q..."
I decided to dine al fresco (as opposed to Al Yankovic) along the San Antonio Riverwalk, and checked out some local BBQ fare at a joint called The County Line. I enjoyed their sampler platter of meaty delights, and it was all quite tasty, especially that gi-normous beef rib, as well as the turkey and sausage. Still not quite as good as K.C. barbecue, but not too shabby, Texas.
The Stadium Stalker struck again while in San Antonio, as he alertly spotted an open gate and snuck into Alamo Stadium, just north of downtown. Built back during the Great Depression, it's home mostly to high school and small college football and track & field events now, but it was once upon a time home to professional football for very brief stints in the '70s and '80s with the short-lived San Antonio Wings of the World Football League and the San Antonio Gunslingers of the USFL. Neat old stadium, but it loses a little something with the evil AstroTurf they haven't replaced with Field Turf yet.
AUSTIN CITY LIMITED
Not pictured here, mostly because I didn't take any photos there, is the city of Austin, which I spent one night in. During my previous visit to Austin in 2000, I only got to see it late at night from I-35 because of poor planning on my part. It was a Friday night, and I'd just come from San Antonio, and was planning to get a room in Austin, but there were none to be had because of something called the Texas Relays. Even rooms in nearby towns like Round Rock were booked solid, so I wound up catching a cat-nap in the car at a rest area instead. I actually had a room this time, but it wasn't really worth it for what little I did in the city. The traffic on I-35 (both northbound and southbound) was a total clusterfuck (even after rush hour), and I was too tired and frustrated to get out and do the drinking and music district south of downtown, so I just cruised the U ot T campus a bit, and passed by the state capitol, where people were out protesting the Trayvon Martin thing. [Never mind that his murder took place in Florida, but when there's political football to be played, I guess the state doesn't matter.] Anyway, Austin wound up being the big disappointment of the trip.
Stadium Stalker struck again at the University of Baylor on a Wednesday morning, at Floyd Casey Stadium (not to be confused with Floyd Cramer Stadium). That gaggle of people on the field was apparently the inquisition at one of these NFL "Pro Days". Essentially, these exercises in overkill amount to an opportunity for budding young players like QB Robert Griffin III (that's him standing on the nearest goal line underneath the crossbar of the goal post) to show off for and/or impress the various scouts and media people.
NOT PICTURED HERE...
...but worthy of mention is the Texas Sports Hall of Fame, also located in Waco. Lots of great displays and exhibits there for pretty much all sports, including an outstanding tribute to the old Southwest Conference (SMU, TCU, Rice, Houston, Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M and Arkansas) that was housed in a psuedo mock-up of the Cotton Bowl stadium.
Lily and Herman weren't home, but I think I saw Grandpa flying about when I stopped by Waxahatchie, Texas' most famous homestead, the Munsters replica mansion, just a little ways south of the Dallas clusterfuck--er uh--Metroplex. This isn't actually my photo--I stole it from the 'net because the house is located on a narrow country highway with no safe place to park my car. Plus, this gate is shrouded by trees--I passed right by the place twice without seeing it because it was hidden so well. The interior is also quite close in detail to the one on the TV show (I'd love to see Grandpa's dungeon!), apart from the coffin in the wall that served as a telephone booth--the wife of the house thought it was too creepy to replicate that. One weekend per year prior to Halloween, the folks who built and own the house open it up for public viewing, often in conjunction with guest appearances by former cast members Butch Patrick (Eddie) and Pat Priest (Marilyn). Ironically, my hotel in Dallas was located near a street called Mockingbird Lane.
STEAK-ING MY CLAIM...
This was my Wednesday lunch at a place west of downtown Ft. Worth called Fred's Texas Cafe, featured on "Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives". I was a bit leery about eating at a place run by a cook who sports a very respectable Z.Z. Top beard, but Fred's claim to fame is his spicy 16-ounce ribeye steak, which I couldn't resist trying. It was pretty damn good, once my eyes stopped bleeding from the jalapeno smoke and I could actually taste it, that is. I'm not quite sure if it was worth what I paid for it, but I enjoyed it anyway. Guy Fieri was 2-for-2 at this point on the trip...
