Saturday, November 3, 2007

Travelblog Colorado--Vol. 2

WHERE HAVE Y'ALL BEEN THE LAST FEW YEARS?
This pic was taken at a shop on Denver's 16th Street Mall.  Hate to break this to you, kids, but between Capri pants, tattooed ankles, Birkenstock sandals and low-rider pants, Ugg(h) styles on women have been very in-style for quite a while now!  This is especially true since the Great Hosiery Embargo of the late '90s went into effect and bare legs became the norm, even during Wintertime and/or in professional office decorum situations.  Talk about winning "Ugg"-ly...

RECYCLING EXEMPLIFIED
I thought this was pretty cool stuffthis is a replica of Coors Field on display at the ESPN Zone in Denver.  It's made solely out of recycled Coors beer cans, bottle tops and cardboard boxes.  Far superior to their beer, that's fer sure...



CHECK MATE?
Quite possibly the most unique feature of Denver's 16th Street Mall is the row of concrete chess/checker tables.  Astonishingly, I witnessed quite a few people seriously pursuing this pastime too.  Now, if they'd see fit to install a concrete Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit table or two, I'd be game to play...

LOOK FAMILIAR?
If it don't, it should!  This would be the home of one Mindy McConnell, whose abode was taken over by a certain alien from the planet Ork who bore a strong resemblance to actor Robin Williams.  Located at 1619 Pine St. in lovely Boulder, Colorado, this house is now shrouded by trees that have grown rather profusely since "Mork & Mindy" debuted in 1978.  At least they finally took down the wall that obscured the first floor of the place because too many tourists/weirdos were knocking on the front door looking for Mr. Bickley.  Nimnuls!


WELCOME TO MUTUAL OF OMAHA'S "WILD KINGDOM"
In a scene reminiscent of TV's "Northern Exposure", those would be real live mooses (meese?) in this pic hanging out on a street corner in lovely Estes Park, Colorado.  I actually thought they were statues at first when I passed by in the car until a couple of them started moving!  Too bad I didn't have a few Hershey bars handy or we could've had chocolate moose, per The Swedish Chef!

Travelblog Colorado--Vol. 1

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN?
This is the view from the bottom at Red Rocks Amphitheater on the outskirts of Denver, scene of my most recent near-death experience, as I made the mistake of climbing to the top row thereof, which drove the point home to yours truly how woefully out-of-shape I am...






THANK YOU, DENVER--WE LOVE YOU!
Taken from center stage at Red Rocks, where the likes of the Moody Blues, U2, Kiss and who knows how many other Rock luminaries have stood at one time or another.















THIS AIN'T NO ORDINARY BENCH, FOLKS...
This is a magic bench.  It may not look like much, but it was on this very bench on the 16th Street Mall in Denver some eight years and change ago that I experienced the most special and sensual kiss in my lifetime with a female woman of the feminine persuasion whom I still care about very much.  I can honestly say that the rest of the whole friggin' world disappeared for approximately 15 minutes upon contact on that lovely July nighta night which I will take to the fucking grave with me! I was tempted to take a hacksaw to this monument and truck it home with mewho says I'm not just a tad sentimental, eh?

THE REST OF 16TH STREET MALL...
A wonderful urban development project that revitalized a long-moribund part of downtown Denver.  Lots of shops and eateries along a street that is closed off to motorized traffic (other than busses).  The only major downside is the influx of panhandlers and beggars, which is far worse than those in Memphis along Beale Street.  Denver needs to take a more hard-line stance on these losers and discourage people from giving money to them to prolong their drug habits.

PRICE GOUGING, 101
This would be a parking garage located two blocks from Coors Field in Denver on the night of Game 4 of the World Series.  By way of comparison, my hotel room was seven bucks cheaper than this parking space, and it came with a toilet, bed, and a TV to boot!












MY CLOSEST BRUSH WITH THE WORLD SERIES
Here is a photo of a baseball park hosting the Fall Classic.  I don't anticipate one of these in K.C. anytime soon...

I'm baaack!

HIDE YOUR SHEEP…I HAVE RETURNED!
Feels good to be back home after my weeklong road trip to Colorado.  It was a good trip overall, apart from a few minor FUBARs and disappointments that were out of my control.  Photos and commentary from the trip will be forthcoming in future posts...

INQUIRING MIND WANTS TO KNOW…
Why were there two ashtrays in my “non-smoking” room at Motel 6?

A LITTLE MOOD MUSIC...
While you read along here.  This is my absolute favorite piece of music from the classic NFL Films highlight reel arsenal.  If this don't get you fired up for some football, nothing will...

THE SPIRIT OF 76
Even though I’m a Mizzou fan, I gotta give it up to Kansas for thumping Nebraska 76-39 in Lawrence today.  After suffering decades of abuse at the hands of the Cornhuskers, KU stomped the shit out of NU, who set a school record for most points allowed in a single game.  KU is now 9-0, and that showdown at Arrowhead with Missouri later this month is shaping up to be a classic.

THE BEAT(IN’) GOES ON
More college football history was made today as Navy beat Notre Dame for the first time in my lifetime (literally) in a thriller that went three OTs at South Bend today.  Talk about your dream seasonsthe Faulty Irish are now 1-8shades of Kansas State in the ’80s!

RADIO BLAH-BLAH
One thing I was majorly disappointed with on my vacation was the radio stations in Colorado.  The Rock stations were pretty much all the same old shitapart from 97.3 out of Boulder that played everything from Frank Zappa to The Policeand I wanted to strangle the jock at the Denver station who was yapping away about the history of ZZ Top and referred to Billy Gibbons as “Billy Gibson”.  The sports talk stations were only mildly entertaining, and I couldn’t find a decent oldies station on the dial to save my soul.  However, I do send kudos to our good friend Alice Cooper for playing Jeff Beck's classic "Beck's Bolero" on this syndicated radio show last night...

Per the recommendation of a dear friend, I made it a point to check out Denver’s Air America affiliate, since we don’t have one of them liberal stations around these parts yet, and to be brutally honest, I wasn’t impressed.  I listened at several different times of the day, and I found these people to be every bit as annoying in their own way as Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly and Co.  Regular readers of this blog know that I love to rip on Dubya as much as anyone, but these so-called “progressive” pundits came off to me as just downright childish at times with their “Nyah na na nah nah!” finger pointing and sniping.  I heard a lot of “the sky is falling” and “hooray for our side” from these folks and not a whole lot of solutions coming from them, especially from snarky smart-asses like Randi Rhodes (not to be confused with late Ozzy Osbourne guitar virtuoso Randy Rhoads) and Ed Schwartz.  Hell, the local Denver morning guy was practically baiting his callers to have the nerve to voice an opposing opiniona tactic that Bill O‘Reilly has the patent on already.  I’m definitely left-leaning, but anymore I’m just aching to hear some voices with a little common sense, and I ain't finding them on the radio these days, that's for damn sure…

R.I.P., M.N.F.
After a year and a half, I have finally given up on ESPN’s version of “Monday Night Football”.  I used to watch MNF religiously when it was on ABChell, I’d plan my entire night around itbut now I barely even make an effort to tune in, after the way ESPN has totally butchered this sports institution.  Start with the uninspired choice of Mike Tirico as play-by-play man, then throw in the overly-analytical Ron Jaworski as color commentator (you can’t spell analytical without “anal”, can ya?) as well as their pseudo-Howard Cosell clone Tony Kornheiser, and you have the recipe for major banality.

Waitit gets worse.  It’s almost as if the game is secondary, the way these fuckers carry on with their celebrity interviews in the broadcast booth with whatever ABC/Disney schmuck has some TV show or movie to plug that week.  At least back in the day with Frank, Howard and Dandy Don, the celebrity interviews were spontaneous, like when John Lennon appeared on MNF in 1974 for no particular reasonnow it’s so blatantly contrived it ain’t even funny.

What finally put me over the edge was the Brett Favre lovefest they conducted during last week’s game at Denver, featuring a pregame love letter video featuring Favre’s wife Deanna.  Don’t get me wrong hereBrett is a one of a kind QB and most definitely a first ballot no-brainer Hall of Famerbut Jesus Horatio Christ, you’d think the guy found a cure for cancer, the way the ESPN crew constantly prattled on about him the other night!  Even die-hard Packer fans must’ve gotten sick of hearing all the accolades and adulation after a while.  And naturally, Favre just had to throw an 82-yard TD pass in OT to win the game.  Trust me, folks, he does fuck up once in a while.  Hopefully he’ll prove that tomorrow at Arrowhead vs. the Chefs.

A BRONX CHEER…
…to the Denverites (Denveronians?) who hurled invective at yours truly simply because I had the effrontery to wear my K.C. Chiefs shirt at the Colorado Avalanche hockey game on Thursday night.  Might I suggest y’all check the current NFL standings and note that your mighty Broncos are hanging out with the Raiders in last place these days, while our team is tied for first place.  And oh yeah, we’ll see you horse's asses at Arrowhead next weekend, too…

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #55
"No One Like You"--SCORPIONS (1982)  "There are really no words strong enough to describe my longing for love."  Minor discrepency here, but I always thought our thick-accented friend Klaus Meine was singing "There are really no words coming out..."

IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME...
Oh wait, fuckin-AI can tonight!  This is one of my favorite nights of the year, as we can actually manipulate time and turn the clocks back and re-live one hour of our lives.  It's just a shame I'm not getting laid at this particular moment...