I'm baaack!

HIDE YOUR SHEEP…I HAVE RETURNED!
Feels good to be back home after my weeklong road trip to Colorado.  It was a good trip overall, apart from a few minor FUBARs and disappointments that were out of my control.  Photos and commentary from the trip will be forthcoming in future posts...

INQUIRING MIND WANTS TO KNOW…
Why were there two ashtrays in my “non-smoking” room at Motel 6?

A LITTLE MOOD MUSIC...
While you read along here.  This is my absolute favorite piece of music from the classic NFL Films highlight reel arsenal.  If this don't get you fired up for some football, nothing will...

THE SPIRIT OF 76
Even though I’m a Mizzou fan, I gotta give it up to Kansas for thumping Nebraska 76-39 in Lawrence today.  After suffering decades of abuse at the hands of the Cornhuskers, KU stomped the shit out of NU, who set a school record for most points allowed in a single game.  KU is now 9-0, and that showdown at Arrowhead with Missouri later this month is shaping up to be a classic.

THE BEAT(IN’) GOES ON
More college football history was made today as Navy beat Notre Dame for the first time in my lifetime (literally) in a thriller that went three OTs at South Bend today.  Talk about your dream seasons—the Faulty Irish are now 1-8—shades of Kansas State in the ’80s!

RADIO BLAH-BLAH
One thing I was majorly disappointed with on my vacation was the radio stations in Colorado.  The Rock stations were pretty much all the same old shit—apart from 97.3 out of Boulder that played everything from Frank Zappa to The Police—and I wanted to strangle the jock at the Denver station who was yapping away about the history of ZZ Top and referred to Billy Gibbons as “Billy Gibson”.  The sports talk stations were only mildly entertaining, and I couldn’t find a decent oldies station on the dial to save my soul.  However, I do send kudos to our good friend Alice Cooper for playing Jeff Beck's classic "Beck's Bolero" on this syndicated radio show last night...

Per the recommendation of a dear friend, I made it a point to check out Denver’s Air America affiliate, since we don’t have one of them liberal stations around these parts yet, and to be brutally honest, I wasn’t impressed.  I listened at several different times of the day, and I found these people to be every bit as annoying in their own way as Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly and Co.  Regular readers of this blog know that I love to rip on Dubya as much as anyone, but these so-called “progressive” pundits came off to me as just downright childish at times with their “Nyah na na nah nah!” finger pointing and sniping.  I heard a lot of “the sky is falling” and “hooray for our side” from these folks and not a whole lot of solutions coming from them, especially from snarky smart-asses like Randi Rhodes (not to be confused with late Ozzy Osbourne guitar virtuoso Randy Rhoads) and Ed Schwartz.  Hell, the local Denver morning guy was practically baiting his callers to have the nerve to voice an opposing opinion—a tactic that Bill O‘Reilly has the patent on already.  I’m definitely left-leaning, but anymore I’m just aching to hear some voices with a little common sense, and I ain't finding them on the radio these days, that's for damn sure…

R.I.P., M.N.F.
After a year and a half, I have finally given up on ESPN’s version of “Monday Night Football”.  I used to watch MNF religiously when it was on ABC—hell, I’d plan my entire night around it—but now I barely even make an effort to tune in, after the way ESPN has totally butchered this sports institution.  Start with the uninspired choice of Mike Tirico as play-by-play man, then throw in the overly-analytical Ron Jaworski as color commentator (you can’t spell analytical without “anal”, can ya?) as well as their pseudo-Howard Cosell clone Tony Kornheiser, and you have the recipe for major banality.

Wait—it gets worse.  It’s almost as if the game is secondary, the way these fuckers carry on with their celebrity interviews in the broadcast booth with whatever ABC/Disney schmuck has some TV show or movie to plug that week.  At least back in the day with Frank, Howard and Dandy Don, the celebrity interviews were spontaneous, like when John Lennon appeared on MNF in 1974 for no particular reason—now it’s so blatantly contrived it ain’t even funny.

What finally put me over the edge was the Brett Favre lovefest they conducted during last week’s game at Denver, featuring a pregame love letter video featuring Favre’s wife Deanna.  Don’t get me wrong here—Brett is a one of a kind QB and most definitely a first ballot no-brainer Hall of Famer—but Jesus Horatio Christ, you’d think the guy found a cure for cancer, the way the ESPN crew constantly prattled on about him the other night!  Even die-hard Packer fans must’ve gotten sick of hearing all the accolades and adulation after a while.  And naturally, Favre just had to throw an 82-yard TD pass in OT to win the game.  Trust me, folks, he does fuck up once in a while.  Hopefully he’ll prove that tomorrow at Arrowhead vs. the Chefs.

A BRONX CHEER…
…to the Denverites (Denveronians?) who hurled invective at yours truly simply because I had the effrontery to wear my K.C. Chiefs shirt at the Colorado Avalanche hockey game on Thursday night.  Might I suggest y’all check the current NFL standings and note that your mighty Broncos are hanging out with the Raiders in last place these days, while our team is tied for first place.  And oh yeah, we’ll see you horse's asses at Arrowhead next weekend, too…

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #55
"No One Like You"--SCORPIONS (1982)  "There are really no words strong enough to describe my longing for love."  Minor discrepency here, but I always thought our thick-accented friend Klaus Meine was singing "There are really no words coming out..."

IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME...
Oh wait, fuckin-A—I can tonight!  This is one of my favorite nights of the year, as we can actually manipulate time and turn the clocks back and re-live one hour of our lives.  It's just a shame I'm not getting laid at this particular moment...