Ain't too proud to blog...

Ain’t too proud to bitch, either…

TEDDY PENDERGRASS, 1950-2010
We lost Teddy Pendergrass this week at age 59 to colon cancer—as if being paralyzed from the chest down for the last 28 years wasn’t bad enough for the man.  As comedian Eddie Murphy once accurately pointed out, Teddy’s masculinity compelled many of his female audience members to throw their panties on the stage when he performed.  Before becoming a solo artist, TP was lead singer of Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes (which makes one wonder why they weren’t called Teddy Pendergrass & The Blue Notes, but I digress), and their classic “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” may well have been Ted’s finest hour.  S'long, Teddy—you were bad (in a damn good way)…

WENDALL ANSCHUTZ, 1938-2010
Those of you outside K.C. won’t know this name, but Wendall was a longtime local TV news anchor here—one of the best we ever had—and he died of throat cancer week before last.  A native of Kansas, Anschutz started at KCMO (now KCTV) Channel 5 in 1966 as a cub reporter (as they called them back then) and worked his way up through the ranks.  By the late ’70s, he was the station’s chief news anchor and he paired up with Anne Peterson to form one of the longest-lasting anchor duos in TV history, working together for nearly 20 years and scoring mighty high ratings.  WA retired about eight years ago, and one of the tributes in the Kansas City Star referred to him as the “Walter Cronkite of Kansas City”, which is pretty accurate.  He was certainly one of the last of a vanishing breed in TV news—a trustworthy substance-over-style news anchor—and I have no doubt that it pained him greatly to watch his former station devolve into the sleazy tabloid-y “Live, Late-breaking, Investigative…” irritative news outfit it has become in recent years.  Everything I’ve heard about Anschutz says he was a classy guy off-camera as well as on.  Rest in peace, Wendall, ya done good…

OOPS!  HE DID IT AGAIN…
The very wrong Rev. Pat Robertson just couldn’t wait to play his “they had it coming to them/this is God’s wrath” card again in regards to Tuesday's tragic earthquake in Haiti.  Just as he did in the wake of 9/11 and Katrina, instead of being a healer like a good religious leader should, Rev. Jagoff pointed fingers instead, saying the poor island nation had “made a pact with Satan” (or some such bullshit), hence this latest in a string of disasters for Haiti.  I know I shouldn’t let this Neolithic dipshit get under my skin, but it’s totally irresponsible for someone who’s this influential (whether he deserves to be or not) to go around making such outrageous claims just to further his own religious/political agenda.  While he was at it, I’m surprised he didn’t also try to blame the gays for the Haitian calamity.  Just for once, I would really like to see someone prominent from the conservative side (Limbaugh? O’Reilly? Beck? ANY Republican politician?) come forward and condemn this douche-bag and take him to task for this crap, but they won’t do it for fear they’ll lose votes or alienate their radio/TV audiences.  Predictably, Robertson’s camp went into spin-doctor mode, claiming that Pat was misinterpreted and/or misquoted.  Hell, they’ll probably deny he ever said it in the first place.  I’ll say one thing for this yutz—he’s as consistent as he is ignorant.  And the band played on…

WAKE ME WHEN IT’S OVER, PLEASE
Is anyone else as nonplussed as I am about the whole Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien thing?  I’ve long been burned-out on the whole late-night talk show thing anyway—they all kinda seem the same anymore (even Letterman) and I rarely tune in much these days.  I say put on some old Johnny Carson reruns—I bet they’d easily outdraw Leno and Letterman in the ratings.  I’m just about burned-out on today’s TV offerings in general—it’s a barren landscape of “reality” shows and “CSI”-type dramas in prime-time, “Andy Griffith Show” and “Roseanne” reruns on TV Land, sensationalism, lies and general bullshit on the news channels, infomercials all night long, and even sporting events are losing their allure with me.  About the only new stuff worth watching anymore are animated shows like “Family Guy”, “Squidbillies” and “Robot Chicken”, and even those can get tired after a while.  Is it any wonder I try to time-travel so much with old-school ‘60s, ’70s and ‘80s escapist fare via the DVD trail?  I’ll gladly take a cheesy “Love Boat” rerun over 95% of what airs on TV these days.  Even “B.J. & The Bear” or "The Misadventures Of Sheriff Lobo" would be a step in the right direction…

SPEAKING OF TV THINGS…
As mentioned, I’ve spent quite a few hours lately watching ‘70s crime drama shows on DVD like “Hawaii Five-0”, “The Rookies”, “S.W.A.T.” and “The Streets Of San Francisco”.  As much as I love the ‘70s, I’m still a bit embarrassed by some of the lingo and dialogue from that era.  For instance, when was the last time you referred to law enforcement officials as “Pigs” and/or “The Fuzz”?

While watching a “Mannix” episode the other night, I thought I was hallucinating when Joe M. attended a swanky dinner party at the home of his client, a home which looked amazingly like that of the Brady Bunch! Evidently the folks at Paramount decided to save a little money on set-building and simply farmed out the Brady household to the “Mannix” folks for one ep in 1970.  Not-so-coincidentally at that time, actor Robert Reed had a concurrent recurring role as a cop on “Mannix”—when he wasn’t busy with three boys of his own…

SPEAKING OF POLICE THINGS…
Just as I feared, the palooka who stole my checkbook out of my car last month tried to pass one of my checks for himself at a local Walmart store that I haven’t set foot in in well over three years.  I got a notice last week in the mail from some collection agency who intervened on Walmart’s behalf saying I owe them 144 bucks, so to prove my innocence in the matter, I went to the K.C. Police Department to obtain an official copy of the report filed by the off-duty officer at the library where my stuff was stolen.  Imagine my surprise when they informed me it would cost ten bucks to get that report!  Talk about a kickback.  I’m the fucking victim here, yet I have to pay to prove my innocence?  As my soccer hooligan friends in England are known to say, “Bollocks!”

Oh, by the way, Walmart—I don’t suppose you bothered to check this asshole’s I.D. when he wrote that check, eh?

GETTIN’ OUT WHILE THE GETTIN’S GOOD…
No big shock that USC coach Pete Carroll has bolted for the NFL’s Seattle Seahawks, seeing’s how he has (in the words of Gen. Taylor in Good Morning, Vietnam), “left a trail of shit behind him that would fertilize the Sanai.”  Major NCAA sanctions most likely loom for USC for various rules violations during Carroll's watch, but ol’ Pete’s high-and-dry now, claiming he just couldn’t resist the “challenge” in the Great Northwest.  Easy to forget that Carroll was a monumental flop in his first two NFL head coaching gigs with the Jets and Patriots.

Meantime, Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin didn’t even wait for Carroll’s seat to cool down before taking the USC gig after just one year in Knoxville.  What’s up with this one-and-done crap with college coaches now—don’t these guys have contracts to fulfill?  College athletics is becoming every bit as corrupt as professional boxing these days…

SPEAKING OF CORRUPTION…
So Mark McGwire finally came clean about the steroid thing?  YAWN!!  I don’t know about y’all, but I personally don’t even give a damn who did what anymore.  It’s become such a worn-out topic and there’s nothing we can do about it now, other than put an asterisk next to the ‘90s and early ‘00s in the record book and just misremember the whole damn steroid era.

WHERE FOR ART THOU, ROMEO?
The Chefs hired former Cleveland Browns head coach Romeo Crennel as their new defensive coordinator yesterday.  Might be a great move, might not, but between that and the hiring of Charlie Weis as offensive coordinator, at least they ain’t standing pat with the coaching staff after this train wreck of a season.  In his usual negative manner, K.C. Star columnist Jason Whitlock poo-pooped both moves.  The guy’s forever bitching that black coaches never get hired, yet even when the Chefs hire one, he still pisses and moans.  The University of Kansas also recently hired its first black football head coach, Turner Gill, and he ripped that move too.  Can’t have it both ways, Jason…

TODAY IS JANUARY 16th…
…so those of you who still have your outdoor Christmas lights turned on are a few neurons short of a synapse—Christmas was over three weeks ago!  I understand perfectly if the recent crummy weather prevents you from taking down your decorations right away, but you can at least turn them off.  In spite of what most retailers would have you believe, the yuletide season is NOT a year-round event, folks…