RIGHTEOUS BUCKS
It seems that the Republican National Committee hath spent over $150,000 on Sarah Palin’s wardrobe and other “campaign accessories” since she became John McCain’s bitch—I mean, running mate. This included 75 grand at a Nieman-Marcus in the Twin Cities, nearly 42 grand at another one in St. Louis and $4,100 for “makeup and hair consulting.” And these people have the nerve to call themselves conservatives?
Now I realize that the options for different styles might be a tad limited back home in Moose Twit, Alaska (they don’t even have a Wal-Mart up there yet, do they?), but surely Ms. Winky-Dink already had some nice threads of her own, being a politician and all. Apparently $150,000 must not buy much these days, because some of the stuff I’ve seen her wear looks like K-Mart blue-light specials to me. And four grand for makeup and hair? The woman’s in her mid-40s and doesn’t know how to do her makeup by now? And how much tutoring does a woman require to learn how to wad her hair up in a scrunchie (sp?) and call it hairstyle? What a fucking waste of money…
The GOP claims that the clothes will eventually be donated to charity. Yeah, right—I’ll believe that on the day Ted Nugent does a cover version of “It’s Hard To Be Humble”…
COUNTING THE DAYS…
Hang in there, kids, this interminable election campaign is almost over, thankfully. Doesn’t it seem like it’s gone on for like three years, or what? Some states are allowing early voting now, which I think is a step in the right direction, but I’d like to see more changes on how we elect a President. First off, this Electoral College thing should’ve been scrapped ages ago. The U.S. was a much different country and not even a quarter of the size it is now when the EC was conceived, and there was a time when it served a purpose, but now it’s as obsolete as Big Band Music and Edsels. I find it inconceivable in our modern-day world that a candidate can win the Popular Vote, yet not be elected President.
Another thing that’s always bugged me—why do we always hold elections on a weekday when most people are working? Why can’t the polls stay open later in the evening (until say, 10:00) when people have more free time? Better yet, why not conduct elections on Saturdays (or even entire weekends) when most everybody can get out and there would be no more excuses for not voting?
YEAH, THAT’LL FIX HIM, ALRIGHT!
This week, local K.C. radio sports talk hack Neal Jones is encouraging his listeners to all wear green t-shirts to the next Chefs home game that read “FIRE CARL” (in reference to GM Carl Peterson). Sure, that’ll really get the message across and turn the team around. His rationale is if the shirts are green and have no Chiefs logos or profanity on them, they’ll stand out and the Thought Police at Arrowhead can’t possibly ask the fans to remove them. Okey-fine…
I have a slightly more devious idea that would be infinitely more effective—encourage people to cease renewing their season tickets with the Chefs! A near-empty stadium on opening day, 2009 would speak louder than a bunch of crappy t-shirts ever could. If I were a Chiefs season ticket holder, I wouldn’t spend another dime on this team until owner Clark Hunt cleans house in the front office and the coaching staff.
HERMSPEAK
Check out the following quote from Chefs head coach Herm Edwards yesterday regarding perpetual dumbass running back Larry Johnson:
"Decisions of all that will take place when it has to be made...I don't have to make a decision on who's starting, not starting. That's kind of where that's at. Whatever I do, hopefully I think you know me by now, people know me by now, I'm going to do the right thing for the football team. That's where it stands with me."
I have never seen anyone who can use so many words and not say a damn thing quite like Herm can. He’s sort of a hybrid of a politician and an evangelist. I’ve tried giving Edwards the benefit of the doubt, but his shuck-and-jive routine with the media is wearing really thin on me, and I find it hard to believe he really means half the stuff he says anymore. I’m ready for the Bill Cowher era to begin in Kansas City ASAP…
And the cloud over Arrowhead Stadium grows darker by the day, as today the Chefs had to put QB Damon Huard on the Injured Reserve list in addition to starter Brodie Croyle, who we already knew was out for the year. I'd volunteer to help out at the QB situation, but I'm afraid I'd look like Peter Griffin trying to elude those defensive tackles. The Chefs' mascot, K.C. Wolf, may well have to suit up on Sunday.
As for Johnson, it’s pretty obvious that he’s on the verge of becoming another Pacman Jones, as this latest incident involving him spitting his drink all over some gal at a local nightclub is becoming a trend—like four times in the last five years he's been accused of doing something uncouth with a woman at a bar late at night. He got up in front of the media and gave some half-hearted apology to the team and the fans today, but I didn't buy any of it. LJ needs to quit hanging out with his buddy Jay-Z and his homey entourage and stay home a little more and read his playbook, methinks. With the economy being what it is today, it’s now even more galling to see talented athletes like Jones and Johnson piss their money and careers away that others would give their left nuts to have.
REGRETS, HE’S HAD A FEW…
Speaking of talented athletes who pissed their money and career away, the poster child for that movement, Jose Canseco, admitted on A&E Monday that maybe he shouldn’t have written that tell-all book about steroid usage in baseball because now everybody’s mad at him. Well, duh! This guy was a whiner when he played, he was a whiner when he retired, and he’s an even bigger whiner now that he’s broke and can’t get it up anymore. Cry me a friggin’ river, Jose…
BUH-BYE!
You won’t see me shedding any tears over this week’s passing of self-appointed fashion critic Mr. Blackwell. Although some of the people this insufferable twit targeted with his verbal barbs deserved it (Madonna, Bjork, et al), many of them didn’t (Renee Zellweger, Meryl Streep, etc.), and I’ve never understood why he was so revered in Hollywood. I always wanted to say to him, “Who asked you, anyway?” Good riddance to an asshole, I say…
THAT CAT NAMED HERCULEZ!
Congrats to K.C. Wiz(ards) player Herculez Gomez for scoring his first goal with the team in their victory against San Jose on Saturday. Good timing too, as it turned out to be a game-winner in what they call "extra time" in MLS that may well propel our local futbol team into the postseason. Mamma Klump would be so proud—Herculez! Herculez! Herculez!
MY SERIES PROGNOSTICATION
I say Tampa Bay Rays in six games on the World Serious. Or as football guru Mike Ditka called them the other day, the "Tampa Ray Bays"! Nothing personal against the Phillies—they actually seem to have more talent on paper—but TB has been bucking the trend all season, so why pick against them now? Should be a fun series, no matter what, and I like the fact that either a team who's never won it all or a team that's long overdue for a championship will prevail, not to mention that neither the Red Sox or Yankees are not involved.
A little historical tidbit for you—tonight will mark the first time a World Series game has ever been played in a former National Hockey League venue. Easy to forget that Tropicana Field (aka Florida Suncoast Dome) was once home to the Tampa Bay Lightning back in the '90s when they used to draw crowds over 20,000 with alarming frequency when the place was known as the "Thunderdome".
TEARIN’ DOWN THE HOUSE…
Here's a shot of the ongoing demolition of New York’s Shea Stadium. It’s literally standing room only at Flushing Meadow now…
And here's something you don't see every day—transporting oversized fruit from one ballpark to another!
