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Time to put a wrap on this road trip--there's another one coming up in just over three weeks...
"FOR GOODNESS SAKE...WELL, DO THE HIPPY-HIPPY SHAKE"
When I snapped this photo I was standing in the Texas Rangers dugout on the very spot where manager Ron Washington does his little booty-shake routine during games (see video) when his Rangers are excelling on the field. I'd seen a game at Rangers ballpark about ten years before, but decided to do the stadium tour, just for fun. Didn't get to see as much of the place as I would've liked, but I enjoyed standing at Washington's perch for a spell. Was hoping to see the Nolan Ryan statue out in centerfield, but some renovations were being done and we couldn't access that area.
DEATH, I HEAR YOU CALLIN'...
I couldn't help but chuckle when I passed by this establishment near my hotel in Big D, where you can pick out your very own wooden overcoat. As Fred Sanford once said, "That's a tough item to sell--sorta like selling Christmas trees the day after Christmas." Two doors down to the left of it is a store called Boxes To Go. Not sure if they're affiliated with each other, but I guess they have us covered either way. Too bad there wasn't a Kum & Go convenience store on the same block too...
OKEY-DOAK
Outside of Southern Methodist University's Gerald Ford Stadium (named after an SMU benefactor, not the ex-Prez) stands this statue of football legend Doak Walker. The Doakster starred in the late '40s at SMU and for the Detroit Lions in the '50s and even has an award named after him given annually to the best college running back. I've never heard of anyone named Doak outside of the realm of football, tho...
CAMELOT'S END...
...took place right here in 1963. This is the Emergency Room entrance to Parkland Hospital in Dallas (well, the current Parkland ER, anyway) where President Kennedy was officially declared dead at 1:00 CST on 11-22-63, although he was dead for all intents and purposes the second that shot ripped through his skull. I'm not sure if this is the exact same part of the hospital campus where JFK was taken or not, but it sure looks similar to the one I see in the old newsreels from the day. It was rather interesting driving the exact same route the motorcade followed after Oswald's shots were fired. According to then-Governor John Connally's wife, Nellie, there was a eerie silence in the limo during that five-minute ride from downtown to Parkland.
LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MY FRIEND...
The Stadium Stalker claimed one last victim during the 2012 Worldwide Texas Tour, FC Dallas Stadium in the town of Frisco, way the hell up north of the Metroplex (seemingly closer to Oklahoma than Dallas-Ft. Worth). I wasn't expecting to encounter anyone I knew there when I saw Lamar Hunt's statue standing guard at the north end of the stadium. We Kansas Citians tend to claim Mr. Hunt as one of our own, thus I'd forgotten that in addition to bringing the Chiefs (and later the Wizards) to KC, that the man also spearheaded the formation of the old North American Soccer League and Dallas Tornado franchise in the '70s. I actually almost like this statue of him better than the one outside Arrowhead Stadium, too. Nice little soccer facility they have in Frisco, which opened in 2005, but I can't believe it doesn't have a roof over its stands like the Wizards new joint does. If there was ever a place were sports venues desperately need shade, it's Texas, and this one was known tongue-in-cheek-ly as "The Oven" when it was called Pizza Hut Park. Then again, they were shrewd enough to include a permanent stage with a roof (right behind Lamar) for concerts and other shows when there's no soccer.
JERRY WORLD EDITION
I kinda got off-track here and forgot to finish of my chronicle of my Texas adventure, but I figure I better get it done soon because I'm heading out of town again here in about three weeks...
WELCOME TO JERRY WORLD, BOYS AND GIRLS!
When I last left off, we were in Arlington, TX, which was once just a bump in the Turnpike between Fort Worth and Dallas until 40 years ago when the Washington Senators relocated to the Metroplex and became the Texas Rangers. Now it's a bustling suburb that houses the Rangers Ballpark and Jerry Jones' multi-zillion dollar Cowboys Stadium, which is far and away the biggest damn sports venue of any kind I've ever seen in person. Photos don't do the place justice--you really have to see it in person to grasp the enormity of it. As I was driving in from Fort Worth, I caught my first glimpse of this behemoth from over SEVEN miles away! In the words of Eddie Murphy: "The shit is big!"
HOW'S IT HANGIN'?
I had two choices for touring Cowboys Stadium, the guided "VIP Tour" or the cheaper self-guided tour and I chose the latter, quite wisely. I enjoyed roaming the field and the locker room areas far more than I would have if I had to stick with the crowd just to see the press box, hoity-toity luxury suites and such. The only real disappointment was not being able to see the massive video screen in action, but as you can see, the big black elephant in the middle of the room was down for maintenance, but it would normally be in operation during daily tours. The damn thing is like ten times bigger than my house! It's literally a six-story building in and of itself.
IN THE SUITE BUY AND BUY...
These are the field level suites that you can mortgage your home to obtain tickets for. They look pretty worthless to me for watching the actual game--they're too low to the ground and all the people on the sidelines would block your view. The floors in them (as well as the rest of the stadium, for that matter) looked clean enough to eat off of, and I actually saw several illegal aliens--er uh--Mexican cleaning ladies dusting and wiping the chairs in one of the suites, even though there were no events in the stadium that week.
"99 YARDS AND A HALF!"...
...as Dandy Don Meredith once exclaimed on that "Monday Night Fooball" telecast in 1982 when Tony Dorsett ran all the way across the Metrodome in Minneapolis to set the NFL record for longest run from scrimmage. This gives you an idea of how far TD had to run--I'm standing at the goal line while snapping this pic. Kinda cool to now be able to say I've strolled on the same field that a Super Bowl has been played on. I'm generally a football purist and would prefer to see everyone play on real grass, but I have to admit that the fake FieldTurf is the next best thing. It looks and feels like real grass, and doesn't look near as painful to get tackled on as AstroTurf did. And if the players are okey-dokey with it, then I am too.
"TURN OUT THE LIGHTS...
...the Party's Over" And you're blinding Coach Landry too! More Dandy Don here, as he interviews the man in the fedora in a cool photo that hangs in the Cowboys press room where post-game interviews and news conferences are held. The self-guided tour allows you access to not only this room, but the Cowboys locker room and even the Cheerleaders locker room (minus the cheerleaders, natch). The tour staff was also quite friendly and fun to chat with along the way.
HOW'S THE WEATHER UP THERE?
To give you an idea of how tall this effing stadium is, there are points on the field near the corners and sidelines where you literally cannot see the seats in the upper deck! You also now see why the big video screen is so necessary--it's the only way to see the damn game clearly from upstairs! I've walked to the top row of Toronto's SkyDome, which was the previous tallest stadium I've ever been in, and the Cowboys' joint dwarfs it easily. I can only imagine the vertigo in the upper reaches here--perhaps this one should be called "Mile High Stadium" instead of Denver's place...
LEAVE IT TO JERRY JONES...
...to include embossed Port-A-Pottys for his big playplen! Like Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket said, "Even the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump!" I still think Jerry Jones is a bit of a crap-weasel--he's good buds with Dubya Bush, after all--but If nothing else, the man spared NO expense in building this thing. The dudes in the Cowboys locker room even told me that the wood paneling that frames the players' lockers is the same stuff they use for dashboards in Bentley cars. As Wojo on "Barney Miller" would say, "Well, whoopity-doopity-doo!" Then again, even though I hate the Dallas Cowboys with a passion and always have, even I have to give it up to Jones' largesse--this place in unreal, and totally worth the visit if you're down that way.
