Thursday, September 18, 2008

Separated at birth?



You be the judge--Bob Walkenhorst of The Rainmakers (2nd from right on the album cover) vs. Neil Diamond, circa. 1972. Downright scary...

Music stuff just screaming out to be mocked






















Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Rousing the rabble

Could you describe the rabble?

PALIN IS FAILIN’…
…to impress me.  The more I learn about this woman, the more I dislike her.  Not that I was planning to vote for John McCain anyway, but having a homophobic, anti-abortion, Creationist conservative super-Christian on his ticket sure ain’t gonna sway me, not to mention that Palin is a big-time suck-up to the oil companies and the NRA.  Before I catch hell for what I say about Palin, let me point out that I’m not sexist and I am ALL FOR the idea of a woman in the White House someday.  I’m just not convinced that the ex-Mayor of Moose Twit, Alaska (or whatever her town’s called) is qualified to run the big show, and I couldn’t take any more Clinton shenanigans, therefore Hillary ain’t the answer either.  To quote something I saw in the paper today:  "Life’s a bitch—don’t vote for one…"

Palin also has this very artificial Katie Couric cutie-pie air about her that makes her look rather Stepford-Wifey and phony to me.  And I hate the way she always wears her hair up like a prom queen.  I’ve never understood women who have long hair but always wear it up—why not just cut it short and not have to fuck with it?

Predictably, the McCain camp is pitching a fit over Tiny Fey’s impression of Palin on "Saturday Night Live" the other night, claiming it was sexist and demeaning.  Funny, they don’t seem to mind when women like Hillary Clinton, Rosie O’Donnell and Oprah are lampooned on SNL and other TV shows of that ilk, and I don’t hear Barack Obama pissing and moaning whenever he’s been sent-up on the tube.  Sorry kids, but Palin is a politician, so by definition, she’s fair game in my book to be spoofed every bit as much as any male politician, so suck it up and deal with it, Republicans!

MORE HYPOCRISY
Check out this little blurb submitted by a K.C. Star reader:  "Charles Gibson’s demeanor during his interview with Gov. Palin was stone-faced, abrupt, subtly hostile and condescending.  What a poor reflection of the unbiased media."

Okay, then why didn’t this gal complain when douche-bag Bill O’Reilly interviewed Obama?

WAS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?
Big hoop-de-doo locally yesterday as Johnson County held the sentencing hearing for Edwin Hall, the tick-turd who murdered 18-year-old Kelsey Smith last year, the story of which generated national (not to mention sensationalistic) headlines.  His sentence was already determined months ago at the trial because of the plea agreement that was reached—so why do the courts insist on wasting taxpayer dollars on this formality?  I say throw his sorry ass in jail already and move on!

And of course, the media milked this story for all it’s worth and played it up so they could tug at our collective heartstrings one more time.  Again, I don’t mean to sound insensitive to the victim or her family—this was a terrible thing to happen to anyone—but I, for one, am growing really weary of all the hypocritical attention this case has garnered solely because Kelsey was a pretty white girl when so many other people of all races and both sexes are murdered every hour in this country, yet the majority of them never have their story told.  Another thing I’m tired of hearing is how Kelsey’s parents (who seemingly have become addicted to the media spotlight) "plan to keep their daughter’s memory alive through the foundation they established.  The goal is to stop the senseless killings that seem to never end," according to the K.C. Star.  A noble aim, to be sure, but I fail to see how merely throwing money at this problem is going to make it all go away.  Color me cynical all you want, but they’re dreaming if they think their little foundation is going to make a lick of difference.  Nutbags are going to kill innocent people no matter what precautions one takes.

AND YOUR POINT IS?
Speaking of murder and mayhem, I give you this from the AP today:  "A double murderer scheduled to be executed next month in Ohio said Tuesday he has not deliberately gained weight to rule out his death by lethal injection.  Instead, Richard Cooey said in a death row interview that his execution cannot be carried out humanely under current state procedures because his veins are hard to reach.  ‘Vein access was an issue even when I was back in the service,’ Cooey, 41, said in an hour-long interview with the Associated Press at the Ohio State Penitentiary."

Okay, let me get this straight—this fucker killed two people, and they’re worried about treating HIM humanely?  If you can’t get the damn needle in him, then beat him over the head with with a 10-pound sledgehammer and get it over with—fuck being humane!

"WE’RE ALL COMMUNISTS NOW!"
That’s what CNBC "Mad Money" host/financial "expert" Jim Cramer says in light of the federal bailout of AIG, et al.  Uhh, I’d sooner take financial advice from Krusty The Clown than this bombastic goomer who looks like the Muppet heckler Waldorf on Speed, the way he waves his arms around all the time.  I can’t believe this bozo is still even on the air, but I guess he still has enough sycophants to justify his airtime.  There are some real suckers out there…

By the way, how is it AIG, Merrill-Lynch, Lehman Bros., et al, all just suddenly found themselves on the verge of bankruptcy over the same weekend?

NORMAN WHITFIELD, 1941-2008
Motown producer/songwriter Norman Whitfield died yesterday at age 67 of complications from diabetes.  He deserved induction into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame for "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" alone, but he also wrote such classics as "Heard It Through The Grapevine", "War" and "Ain't Too Proud To Beg", and produced "Car Wash" for Rose Royce, among many others.  Prolific, indeed...

RICK WRIGHT, 1943-2008
Longtime Pink Floyd keyboardist Rick Wright also joined that "Great Gig In The Sky" this week of cancer.  I didn't know a whole lot about the man, but he was instrumental (literally) in my two favorite Floyd songs ever—"Us And Them" and the vastly-underrated "One Of These Days".  Why bassist Roger Waters was/is such a douche and kicked Wright out of the band for a time after The Wall came out is beyond me.  He certainly was in the Wright...

DEM BONES, DEM BONES!
Congratulations to our Kansas City T-Bones for winning the Northern League minor league baseball championship last night over those dreaded Gary (Indiana) RailCats.  The team is your basic cast of cast-offs, including former Royal Ken Harvey and former St. Louis Cardinals upstart Bo Hart.  It is what it is—MINOR minor league baseball—but it’s still a fun time at their games.  They play in a first-class ballpark over by the Kansas Speedway and draw surprisingly well, considering their low profile.  One can attribute some of their success to the Royals’ lack of success over at Kauffman Stadium these past few years, not to mention free parking, cheap food, low ticket prices and a burgeoning entertainment district across the road at The Legends.  I’ve heard the Northern League might be on its last legs, though, so the Bones might be playing in another league next season.


In spite of their championship, I wouldn’t count on any ticker-tape parade for the T-Bones down Minnesota Avenue in K.C.K.—there aren’t enough armored vehicles in the state of Kansas to protect the players from that shooting gallery…

WEDNESDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL?!?
Kansas State plays at Louisville tonight on ESPN.  Aren’t we getting a little carried away now?  I’m a major mondo football fan here, but even I’m getting tired of all these weeknight games these days—shit, they’re playing college games literally every night of the week now on ESPN.  I kinda like having that break during the week to get fired-up for the upcoming weekend's games, but now the lines are getting so blurred, it's hard to tell one weekend from the next. What’s next—Tuesday morning football?

Three great ways to improve cable TV

Courtesy of the good folks at Cracked.com!


Monday, September 15, 2008

Another Monday shot to hell...

HAIL (STONES) TO THE CHEFS!
Up until now, I’ve been patient with head coach Herm Edwards, I’ve given G.M. Carl Peterson the benefit of numerous doubts and I’ve put up with Larry Johnson’s chronic pissing and moaning, but after that sorry-ass performance yesterday against the Raiders at Arrowhead, my patience has reached its end.  I firmly believe the U. of Missouri would’ve kicked the crap out of the Chefs yesterday.  Granted, the Chefs don’t have the greatest talent on the team as a whole, but they should’ve been good enough to beat Oakland, who got flogged by the Broncos last week on MNF.  Johnson was just shy of worthless—22 yards rushing on 12 carries?  Hey LJ, try running somewhere else besides right up your own lineman’s ass, and you might gain a few more yards.  I blame yesterday’s debacle totally on the coaching staff—that team was obviously not prepared to play a decent football game, and it reminded me of those lovely days back in the late ‘70s when the Chefs were absolutely abysmal and only 15,000 people even bothered to show up to watch them every Sunday.  Those days are about to return, so we best get used to the games being blacked-out on local TV because the sellout streak at Arrowhead is ovah after this…

SPEAKING OF SELLOUTS…
Is anyone besides me already getting tired of those TV ads featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates?  Yes I know, Seinfeld’s been a corporate shill for years, but I don’t recall comedians George Carlin, Richard Pryor or Robin Williams feeling the need to do TV commercials.  And what the fuck does Bill Gates need the money for doing these ads for?

COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE?
In Raiders owner Al Davis’ case, it’s more like a commitment to being committed, as talk swirled this week that he’s about to fire his second-year head coach Lane Kiffin just two games into the season.  There’s a big reason why the Raidas have sucked big-time in recent years, and it’s not Kiffin—it’s Davis himself!  He’s made numerous questionable personnel decisions and has gone through more head coaches than the K.C. school district has gone through superintendents over the last ten years or so.  Hey Al, just retire, baby…

GET BENT, BECKHAM!
I know I’ve ranted about this subject before here, but it bears repeating—I just don’t get all the hysteria over David Beckham, do you?  I guess he’s like the Tiger Woods of outdoor soccer, but this obsession over him by the media and fans is getting to be a joke.  Becks was in town Saturday night with the L.A. Galaxy to play our mighty K.C. Wizards.  Even though the Wizzes have been playing soccer all season in a minor league baseball stadium (the T-Bones’ insert-corporate-name-here Ballpark) because of renovations to Arrowhead, the ‘Head suddenly became available for this match so gullible fans could pay an extra $10 a ticket and $12 bucks to park (which is normally free at the T-Bone joint) just to see Beckham be a non-factor in the Wizzes’ 2-0 win over the Galaxy.  Apart from all the abject hysteria he’s caused, Beckham’s impact on the game of soccer in this country has been minimal, at best, and nearly non-existent on his own team, which has the worst record in Major League Soccer and hasn’t even won a game since June.  My friend Steve in England swears up and down that Beckham truly is the shit, and is worthy of all this folderol, but I personally think he’s more like (as the Brits also say) the shite!

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #95
"Join Together"—THE WHO (1972)  "Do you really think I care, what you read or what you wear?"  Or as I originally heard it, "Do you really think I care, what you EAT or what you wear..."

POOR OZZIE GETS UPSTAGED ONCE AGAIN
I couldn’t help but chuckle last night when ESPN cut away from their broadcast of Ozzie Guillen’s Chicago White Sox playing Detroit to show the final three outs of the Cubs’ Carlos Zambrano’s no-hitter in Milwaukee against Houston.  Ozzie’s always bitching and whining that the Sox never get any respect in Chi-Town, even after winning the World Series in ’05, and that the Cubs always get the lion’s share of the love in spite of their 100-year championship drought.  Could this be because the Cubs conduct themselves with a fair amount of class, Ozzie?  I hope Minnesota catches the White Sox and knocks them out of the playoffs.

Meantime, even though I’m a Cubs fan, I do think the Astros kinda got screwed on this deal by having to play these games in Milwaukee because of Hurricane Ike.  Milwaukee is practically a northern suburb of Chicago, and Miller Park is almost the Cubs’ home-away-from-home as it is, because whenever they play the Brewers there, the place is over half-filled with Cub fans who make the 90-minute drive.  Seems to me that Cincinnati, St. Louis or even Atlanta might’ve been a more suitable alternative.