Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Green Eggs And Sam(my)

Another book read, another blog post.  It only took me the better part of a day and a half to rip through Sammy Hagar’s new otto-biography Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock.  That’s partly because I’d already read excerpts from it long before I bought it and mostly because it was a fairly entertaining read, even if I didn’t quite believe all of it.  I do give the Red Rocker credit—he holds back nothing here, but he’s no doubt burned a few bridges with this book, some of which were already on the verge of collapse anyway.  Suffice it to say that the Van Halen brothers don’t come off looking too good here at all. 

Oddly enough, the first thing I ever remember hearing from Hagar was his 1979 remake of Otis Redding’s “(Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay” on the old KY-102 when I was 15 and gradually making my transition from FM Top 40 Pop to Album Rock radio.  He pretty much disowns that track in the book, saying it was a lame attempt by his then-manager to score a Top 40 hit.  Long about that same time, Sammy was the second act I ever saw at a major Rock concert, playing fourth on the bill at Arrowhead Stadium (right before The Cars, Heart and headliner Ted Nugent, and just after local favorites Missouri), and I remember being semi-impressed with his stage act.  After being dismissed from the band Montrose in a clash of egos (mostly Ronnie Montrose’s), Sammy built his fan base in a rather workmanlike manner in the late ‘70s, in spite of little-to-no support from radio or his label, Capitol Records.  Much like another Capitol act that preceded him years earlier, Grand Funk Railroad, Hagar’s early success was largely through word-of-mouth about his live performances, even though he had some pretty decent material, like “Red”, “Trans Am (Highway Wonderland)”, “Rock ‘N’ Roll Weekend”, “Plain Jane”, “Turn Up The Music” and a song called “I’ve Done Everything For You”, which you Rick Springfield fans (all four of you) might remember.  Hagar’s fortunes changed when he sacked his manager and jumped ship to Geffen Records, who realized his potential and promoted him much more avidly, thus resulting in a very respectable run of successful albums in the early ‘80s (Standing Hampton, Three Lock Box and V.O.A.), as well as a brief run in the (sort-of) supergroup Hagar/Schon/Aaronson/Shrieve.  By 1985, Hagar was wealthy enough (and burned-out enough) to quit the music business when his telephone rang and one Edward Van Halen was at the other end…

As for the book, I find myself picking and choosing which parts I actually believe and which parts I think he embellished, exaggerated or just plain made up.  Here’s a little rundown on my thoughts on stuff from the book (in no particular order):

—I was very surprised that there’s no mention whatsoever in Sammy’s book of his 1997 song, “Little White Lie”, which was a direct bazooka shot at Eddie and Alex Van Halen.

—Apart from Hagar cronies Bill Church (bass) and David Lauser (drums), Sammy barely spoke of his longtime touring band during his solo years, and never once mentioned his lead guitarist Gary Pihl, who is now with (what’s left of) Boston. Guess there weren’t too many juicy tales to tell from those days.

—I find it more than a little fucked-up that Hagar often cheated on his mentally-ill wife (whom he’d married very young) after he’d been on the road for a while.  Why do these musicians always insist on marrying some chick and having kids when they’re 20 and just starting out in their music career, knowing damn well how the Rock ‘N’ Roll lifestyle is counter-productive to marriage and family?

—Much of Hagar’s wrath in Red was aimed at VH manager Ray Danniels, whom he pretty much views as evil-incarnate.  Danniels replaced the late Ed Leffler, who was Sammy’s choice to manage Van Halen when he joined in 1985.  Leffler died of cancer while 1995’s flaccid Balance album was being completed, and Hagar clashed with his replacement (whom the VH brothers hand-picked to manage the group) almost immediately.  Danniels also manages Rush (the band, not the Big Fat Idiot), and being’s how those crazy Canucks seem to be such a well-oiled machine, it makes me wonder how bad a guy this Danniels truly is, thus making me question Hagar’s credibility a bit.  Then again, Rush is a totally different animal altogether, devoid of fragile egos, factions, personal vendettas/agendas and out-of-control alcoholics, thus fairly self-contained.

—I could’ve done without Sammy’s recurring bits about aliens supposedly contacting him from beyond.  Even if they really happened, I’m not into that stuff, sorry.  But if I ever do hear from Beldar Conehead on Remulac (sp?), I’ll let y’all know, mmm-kay?

—Sam spent a lot of time in his book going on about his Cabo Wabo cantina venture in Mexico.  Apparently the late John Entwistle was a regular visitor at Cabo in the years right before he died, and it was sad to read how he was rapidly declining.  According to Hagar, The Ox was extremely deaf by then, to the point where even hearing aids were of little use.  “He was pretty high most of the time,” Sammy writes. “John always had a drink and a cigarette in his hand…I’d try to get him to sing ‘Boris The Spider’, but he’d go, ‘Oh, man, I can’t sing.’”  This sounds very consistent with what Pete Townshend has said many times about John’s voice being “very dodgy” toward the end and that he clearly was not taking care of himself in his final years.  Same can be said for Stephen Stills, who was/is also a frequent flyer at Cabo Wabo.  I never much cared for the song “Cabo Wabo”, anyway…

—And then there was the infamous “Sam & Dave” tour fiasco with Diva Lee Roth in 2002.  I actually had a free ticket to that concert here at Sandstone Amphitheater but I passed on going to the show, mostly because I didn’t feel like driving the 60-mile round trip over to Bonner Springs and back.  Probably a wise move on my part—I heard the show really sucked, and Sammy’s narrative about that tour echoes the same sentiments.  As with pretty much every other piece I’ve ever read about Diamond Dave since he left Van Halen in 1985, he comes across as a total prima donna douche in Sam’s book.  Fuhgetaboudit, Dave…

—Hagar contradicts himself throughout the book, and I have to call bullshit on a couple of items.  For instance, while concluding the book by spouting off a bunch of hollow platitudes about life in general, he says:  “I don’t believe in killing people, inflicting your will on another person or trying to hurt them in any way.”  Then Sam, what’s up with lyrics like “Shoot them down to their graves, yeah!” from “V.O.A.”?  Come to think of it, Sammy often talked out of both sides of his mouth with his songwriting anyway.  First he sings, “I’ll Fall In Love Again”, then turns around with “I Don’t Need Love” (furthermore, “I’m just lookin’ for some sex, yeah!”), then comes back with “When It’s Love”, etc.  In another passage, he wrote:  “Drugs kill people.  People think drugs are what made Jimi Hendrix great.  No, drugs are what killed Jimi Hendrix.”  No argument from me on that statement, but then why’s it okey-dokey for Hagar to not only do cocaine himself, but provide some to his Cabo guests like Stephen Stills as well?!?  Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle—you’re black!  In a similar vein, based Sammy’s own descriptions, his father was not unlike Sean Maguire’s “mean fuckin’ drunk” old man in the film Good Will Hunting, and things got so bad when Sammy was young that his mother would often evacuate herself and the kids from their own house when Daddy got home from a night at the bar.  Considering all the bad experiences between dealing with his dear ol’ Dad and the drunken Van Halen brothers all these years, I think it’s rather disingenuous of Hagar to market and promote alcohol, especially tequila, of all things.  It’s not like Sammy needs the money—he has several other successful outside business ventures in addition to his musical career, so we won’t be seeing him in the bread lines anytime soon.

Then again, Sammy Hagar has never been known as a Rhodes Scholar.  I once read in a 1980 concert review of his show at Memorial Hall in KCK (during the height of the Iran hostage crisis), someone in the crowd held up a huge sign that said, “Iranians Go Home”, which Hagar misread as “Trans Ams Go Home”, and he goes off on a 10-minute filibuster about his favorite automobile.  When Eddie and Sammy performed together in public for the first time ever at Farm Aid in 1985, Sam proceeds to introduce “I Can’t Drive 55” by saying, “Here’s a song for all you tractor-pulling motherfuckers,” which immediately got them yanked off the live TV feed.  At that Arrowhead gig I attended in ’79, between songs he was trying to say something to the crowd and suddenly bellowed, “Turn this fuckin’ mic on!!!” Uh, Sam, I think it’s on…

I don’t mean for this post to come off as a Hagar bash-fest because I actually do like Sammy.  I enjoy most of his music and he seems like a decent duck overall, and fairly level-headed (for a Rock star, anyway). I’ve always liked his upbeat attitude and he seems like a fun person to be around.  I’m amazed he remained with Van Halen as long as he did, considering how dysfunctional that band was even when Hagar first joined them—their problems and issues weren’t ALL Roth’s fault, as we were once led to believe.  Sammy certainly brought a MAJOR upgrade to Van Halen lyrics—I swear, many of Roth’s songs sound like he just made them up as he went along in the studio (“Jump” being the most heinous example) and it was Eddie’s guitar pyrotechnics that truly gave this band its substance.  I generally believe most of what Hagar wrote in his book about the Van Halen brothers is true, especially in light of the way Eddie and Alex have jerked us VH fans around the last 15 years with their Hagar/Roth/Cherone/Hagar again/Roth again lead singer carousel.  "We’d be rippin’ off our fans,” Little Hitler—er uh, Eddie—proclaimed in 1998 in discussing a potential reunion tour with Diva Lee.  Funny how he didn’t feel that way ten years later when he reunited with Roth anyway, just so he could finally take Junior on the road with him.  Okay, Ed, we get it—your dick worked once.  Now bring back Michael Anthony already, will ya…

Sammy accurately points out that Alex Van Halen was NEVER a creative force in the band, yet he always got a quarter share of the songwriting/publishing money, even though he has yet to write a single song for his own band.  Same could be said for Michael Anthony, but at least Mikey was always a good soldier for the band, never failing to answer the bell in concert, putting up with more bullshit from the Van Halens than he should have, and also providing his trademark high harmony vocals that were an integral part of the VH sound during both the Roth and Hagar eras.  I like Mike and really think he got a raw deal in the end when Eddie essentially humiliated him by kicking him to the curb and replacing him on bass with his son Wolfgang for their 2008 tour with Roth.  While Junior VH appears to be at least a serviceable bass player (he’s light years better than Sid Vicious, anyway), he’s not a very dynamic performer on stage and looks like he belongs in some lame slacker band.  Sorry, Wolfie—only Entwistle was allowed to stand still all night while he played, and you ain’t no Ox…

Getting back to Uncle Alex, I’ve always thought he was/is an average drummer, at best.  He’s no Neil Peart, that’s for sure, and unlike Peart, AVH’s massive drum kit was/is mostly for show—four bass drums, Gracie?  Come on.  Meantime, Alex is basically a lackey and enabler for his far more talented (yet sadly whacked-out) brother.  According to Hagar, during most of his tenure with the band, the Van Halen brothers drank like fish and smoked like dragons from dusk till dawn, especially while working in the studio, and if that’s true, it’s a wonder they were functional at all.  Hell, Eddie lost a third of his tongue to mouth cancer, and yet he STILL smokes cigarettes!!  Back in the day at one of the VH shows I attended, following Al’s slightly off-kilter drum solo, David Lee Roth proclaimed, “Let’s hear it for Alex Van Halen…and his drinking problem!”  It was funny in 1981.  30 years later, not so much…

As for Van Halen (the band), apart from maybe Guns ‘N’ Roses, I don’t think we’ve ever witnessed a front-line Rock band totally implode the way they have.  I saw VH four times in concert during the DLR era and they were white-hot on-stage each and every time.  I saw them three more times with Hagar, and they were pretty good then, too, in spite of losing their edge a bit.  To the best of my recollection, I did not touch one drop of alcohol at any of those shows (I abstained from drinking at concerts pretty much until the ‘90s), so I’m definitely not viewing these memories through a booze-tinted prism.  I even went back and re-watched their 1986 concert video “Live Without A Net” just to reassure myself that it was all real once upon a time.  Sure enough, Eddie was still Eddie in that video—he looked vibrant and healthy, was totally into his performance, interacted well with the rest of the band (not just his brother) and operated on his guitar like a neurosurgeon.  Unquestionably, Van Halen—with Roth or Hagar—was truly “the shit” back in the ‘80s.  Now they’re just shit.  How the mighty have fallen…

Evidently Sammy Hagar started to write a book like this (with another author) about ten years ago but halted the project in midstream.  Excerpts from that book made it to the ‘Net anyway, and they’re pretty consistent with what’s in Red.  The only difference is a lot of the unnecessary details and superfluous music business minutiae and has been eliminated in the new book.  Here’s a link to the excerpts.

My all-time (non-Van Halen) Sammy Hagar Top 10:
10) “Winner Takes It All” (1985)  Largely forgotten track Hagar did for Sly Stallone’s arm-wrestling saga Over The Top.  Sammy has contributed a boatload of songs to movie soundtracks over the years, including Footloose, The Rose, Heavy Metal and Twister (the latter with Van Halen).
9) “Three Lock Box”/“I Don’t Need Love” (1983) [Tie]  These two made nice bookends on the Three Lock Box album.
8) “Heavy Metal” (1981)  Unlike Don Felder’s “Heavy Metal” song from the Heavy Metal film soundtrack, Sammy’s actually lives up to its title.
7) “Two Sides Of Love” (1984)  This one had all the makings of a big hit single, but wasn’t, for some reason. I always liked it, tho…
6) “Privacy” (1987)  Loved the bass line on this one, provided by Edward Van Halen.  One of the better tracks off that album Hagar let some MTV contestant re-title I Never Said Goodbye.
5) “Bad Motor Scooter” [Montrose] (1973)  Ronnie Montrose was a total Melvin to let Hagar ever get away from him.  But, Ronnie suffered from that all-too-common affliction, Nugent Syndrome, where a fine lead guitarist can’t bear to share the spotlight with a talented and/or good-looking lead singer.  I don’t see where Montrose (the band) accomplished a whole lot after Sam went solo.  Meantime, BMS is one bad jam…
4) “Missing You” [HSAS] (1984)  Not to be confused with the hit song John Waite had out at the same time with the same title.  According to Sammy in the book, Schon, Shrieve and Aaronson were nice to work with, but they never totally jelled together as a unit, thus the alliance was short-lived.  If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this was just another Hagar solo track, and it’s a pretty good one.  Surprising that it wasn’t a bigger hit, considering Journey’s gi-normous popularity at the time.
3) “I Can’t Drive 55” (1984)  Should be re-titled “I Can’t Drive 65”. The video for this one was funny in places too.
2) “There’s Only One Way To Rock” (1981)  This is the one that made me really sit up and take notice of Sammy Hagar when it came out.  Excellent album and concert lead-off hitter too, especially when Sammy hooked up with Eddie Van Halen in their dueling guitar solo bits in concert.  It was lifted from the album Standing Hampton, whose title is a British euphemism for "hard-on".  I'd much rather have a Standing Hampton than a Little Hampton...
1) “V.O.A.” (1984)  I love this middle-finger pointed directly at the Middle East and Soviet Union, even though it’s terribly dated now and no longer relevant in the case of the latter.  In ‘84, I actually believed the line “You in the Middle East—be on your toes/We’re bound to strike, everybody’s knows” and that the U.S. could resolve a major conflict in one fell swoop.  But, as history in the last ten years has taught us, it don’t quite work that way.  Ditto goes for the line “We think as one—there’s no contest.”  Still a cool song, anyway…