Motherhood?

The first and only time I ever got vanity plates on my car was back in the early '90s, but friends and strangers alike often asked me why my plates said "motherhood".  Thus, I was forced to explain that 'MOTRHD' stood for a band that I was heavily into at that time, the mighty Motorhead.  I originally tried to get 'MTRHED', but it was already taken, and thanks to the state of Missouri, we could only have six digits on vanity plates (Kansas allows seven, the bastards!).  Anyway, it was my salute to one of the most legendary and hardest-hitting heavy metal bands of all-time.

I first got into Motorhead long about 1988, thanks to MTV (of all things), and their "Headbanger's Ball" that aired every Saturday night.  They always played at least one Motorhead video each week, and the first one that caught my ear was a live performance of "Mean Machine".  The album's title caught my eye too—Orgasmatron—so I picked it up not long after that and was instantly hooked.  This was the loudest, rawest, raunchiest and heaviest record I had ever heard, and I was immediately drawn to Motorhead's founder and leader Lemmy (born Ian Kilmister).  The guy has one of the worst singing voices in the world, but for some reason, he was able to make it work with the type of music he wrote and played.  Pretty soon, I was buying up everything else the band had done up to that point, and those tapes certainly made my 53-mile commute to and from the radio station in St. Joseph during the summer of '88 a lot more fun—I still have fond memories of those early Sunday mornings after working graveyard shift screaming through the sleepy little towns along Hiway 169 in my '87 T-Bird with Lemmy and the boys cranked up full blast!

For whatever reason, I was unaware in 1988 of Motorhead's already-legendary status as metal gods via 1980's "Ace Of Spades", which is a certifiable Rock classic, as well as other gems like "Iron Fist", "Bomber" and "The Chase Is Better Than The Catch", but I quickly learned on the fly, and it wasn't long before Lemmy (so-named for his penchant for begging friends for money—"lend me a fiver", etc.) had more or less replaced Ted Nugent as my crazy surrogate Rock 'N' Roll uncle/father figure.  The dude has chrisma, isn't as arrogant (or bigoted) as Nugent, and he has a wry sense of humor in his lyrics too.  In fact, that's what really sets Motorhead apart for me compared with similar heavy metal bands—their humor and how they don't take themselves all that seriously.  Take Metallica, for instance—I've never gotten into that band, even though their music is not unlike Motorhead's sonically, because the subject matter of their songs is usually too tedious and dead-dog serious all the time.  You don't get lines like "You got a body like a Marshall stack" (from "Dr. Rock") or "Don't run, baby--don't call a cop" (from "Damage Case"), or "As we dismember you, we shall remember you" (from "Traitor") on a Metallica record.  Fuck "One", "For Whom The Bell Tolls" and "Master of Puppets"—I'll take songs like "Jailbait", "Love Me Like A Reptile" and "Killed By Death" any day over Metallica's stuff...

Lemmy, who was once a roadie for Jimi Hendrix, put Motorhead together in 1977 after leaving the band Hawkwind (taking their name from the Hawkwind song "Motorhead") and the band was initially a three-piece with Lemmy on bass and vocals, Phil "Philthy Animal" Taylor on drums and "Fast" Eddie Clarke on guitar.  Clarke left in 1982 to form the band Fastway (of "Say What You Will" fame), and was replaced by former Thin Lizzy guitarist Brian Robertson for the rather disastrous 1983 LP Another Perfect Day.  Then Lemmy completely overhauled the band in 1984, making it a four-piece with new drummer Pete Gill (formerly of Saxon) and two new guitarists, Phil Campbell and Mick Burston, who went by the name "Wurzel".  "Little Philthy" returned for 1987's Rock 'N' Roll album, and left again for good in 1992 and was replaced by Mikkey Dee.  Wurzel left after 1993's Bastards CD, and Motorhead has been a three-piece ever since, with Campbell and Dee remaining to this day.  Take notes—you'll be tested on this later...

If there's such a thing as a musical power scale that resembles a car's speedometer, my own personal musical power range would have Air Supply at the 0 end, The Partridge Family at 5, The Carpenters at 10, ABBA at 20, The Go-Go's at 35, John Hiatt at 45, The Beatles at about 55, The Stones at 60, ZZ Top at 65, The Who at 75, Van Halen at 80, Kiss at 90, W.A.S.P. at 105 and Motorhead would peg out at 120! They are as loud and testosterony as I'm liable to get—anything faster or louder (like Pantera, Slayer, et al) is just noise to me.  I saw Motorhead live back in 1999 at Roadhouse Ruby's in Olathe, or "Almost-Kansas City", as Lemmy called us, and he offered some sage advice early on in the show:  "Don't dance to this—you'll fuck your legs up!" I was deaf for two days afterward, and I fucking loved it!

Now if we could just ascertain the answer to Brother Beavis' question about Lemmy: "How come he's got those two Cocoa Puffs stuck to his cheek?"...

My all-time Motorhead Top 10
1) "Dr. Rock" (1986)
2) "On Your Feet Or On Your Knees" (1993)
3) "Traitor" (1987)
4) "Deaf Forever" (1986)
5) "Love Me Like A Reptile" (1980)
6) "Killed By Death" (1984)
7) "Bomber" (1979)
8) "Going To Brazil" (1991)
9) "Born To Raise Hell" (1993)
10) "Damage Case" (1978)

"They Died Young"--Volume I (of an occasional series)

As an aficionado of sports arenas and stadiums, I’m rather fascinated by those that had a relatively short life compared with venerable institutions like Fenway Park and Wrigley Field.  There was a time when sports venues would last 50-60 years or more, but the life expectancy for them now is much shorter.  Some arenas and stadiums are ill-conceived to begin with or become obsolete faster than others, while some just aren’t properly maintained and fall into disrepair and die before their time.  I'm rather sentimental when it comes to old stadiums and arenas, and I'm all for the preservation of them—I even feel a tinge of sadness when the crappy ones like the Kingdome in Seattle and Pittsburgh's Three Rivers Stadium are demolished—and the past two decades have brought about an unprecedented wave of new stadium construction and/or renovation.  Every team seemingly wants a new place to play every 20 years or so, and I find it rather sad sometimes when perfectly good sports venues get tossed away like old cigarette lighters, so from time to time, I’m going to feature the ones who didn't quite reach the legendary status of Chicago Stadium or Yankee Stadium, much less senility like St. Louis Arena or old Comiskey Park...

Volume I: Richfield Coliseum
The NBA’s expansion Cleveland Cavaliers played their first four seasons at the outdated and inadequate Cleveland Arena from 1970-74, but got a major upgrade when they moved to their new home, the Richfield Coliseum, a wonderful arena—that stood practically in the middle of nowhere! Thanks to a bad idea that was conceived with the best of intentions, it was decided to locate the building exactly halfway between the cities of Cleveland and Akron, with the idea being that it would draw more fans from the surrounding area of nearly five million people (nearby Canton included) because the arena was more centrally-located for everyone.  Great idea—in theory.  Not-so-great in practice...

Richfield Township is your basic bump in the road, with just a few houses and farms scattered about.  When I visited there in May, 1991, I expected to find the arena surrounded by modern suburbia, so imagine my shock when I could see the thing standing all by itself on a hill from the Interstate about two miles away as I approached.  Hell, there wasn't even a gas station or a McDonald's or anything nearby—just a hulking concrete monolith in the middle of a huge parking lot surrounded by farmland as far as the eye could see.  There were basically only two main roads to get to the Coliseum—I-271 and Streetsboro Road which intersects it, and if either of them were congested because of accidents or bad weather on event nights, things quickly turned into a clusterfuck of epic proportions.  Many’s the time events were delayed until most of the fans could get there (especially during snowstorms), and departing the facility was often a challenge as well.

 Too bad, too, because Richfield Coliseum was actually a great place to watch a sporting event.  It had great sight lines and was ahead of its time for the ‘70s with its video screens and numerous luxury suites that ringed the top of the arena, which held around 19,000 people for basketball and concerts, and a little less for hockey.  Parking was abundant too, but the main knock on the place (besides its location) was that the concourses were too small and claustrophobic on nights with big crowds—a common design flaw of ‘70s-era venues.

Frank Sinatra packed the place on its opening night in October, 1974, and fans actually did make the trek in droves to the nether world of Richfield for a few years, as the Cavs finally put a decent team on the court in the late ’70s and on into the ‘80s.  Perhaps the most famous sports moment in the Coliseum’s history was the last-second shot (oft-repeated on ESPN) made by Michael Jordan over Greg Ehlo in 1989 to beat the Cavaliers in the playoffs, after which MJ jumped around and pumped his fist triumphantly and the Chicago Bulls radio announcer screamed "THE BULLS WIN! THEY WIN IT!"  Big-league hockey had a cup of coffee in Richfield, as the NHL’s Cleveland Barons—the former California Golden Seals—transplanted from the Bay Area in 1976, and lasted only two miserable seasons before merging with the Minnesota North Stars in 1978.  But it was another team in another sport that truly kept the turnstiles spinning at Richfield Coliseum, the Major Indoor Soccer League’s Cleveland Force.  In spite of their gaudy canary yellow uniforms (see below), the Force was with Cleveland fans for over ten years during the early and mid-‘80s, at least until the novelty wore off and the team folded in 1988.

I had the pleasure of seeing two indoor soccer games at the Coliseum, and they turned out to be the final two games in the history of my beloved Kansas City Comets.  That's our man Gino Schiraldi in the above photo against the Farce, er uh, Force.  Not knowing for sure heading in that the end was near for the team (rumors had circled for months of the team's demise), I altered my original vacation plan that included an Orioles game at old Memorial Stadium in Baltimore, and I’m so glad I did.  I wound up seeing Game 6 and 7 of a rugged playoff series between the Comets and the Cleveland Crunch (who replaced the Force in 1989), and both games were thrillers, as the Comets staved off elimination in Game 6 on Thursday night by mounting a major comeback and won 8-6, and fell just short of making the MISL Championship series, losing Game 7 on Saturday 7-6.  Sadly, the Comets folded during the off-season, but at least I was there for the bitter end, and that meant a lot to me.  I never got to see a game at Memorial Stadium, either, but I guess we can’t have everything…

The end was near for Richfield Coliseum by that time too.  Attendance for Crunch games was mediocre, as it was for Cavs games (unless Jordan or Magic Johnson was in town), and it was readily apparent that the noble experiment of an arena in the boonies wasn’t working.  The Cleveland Indians were already building a new stadium downtown, and the Cavs wanted in on the gravy train, so they built their new joint, Gund Arena (now called Quicken Loans Arena—ewww), right next door to the Tribe’s Jacobs Field, thus spawning a renaissance for downtown Cleve-Land that I’d like to see Kansas City duplicate with the new Sprint Center.  Meanwhile, Richfield Coliseum closed in 1994—at the tender age of 20.  After standing dormant for about five years, the building was demolished in 1999 in a rather unique way—the arena was knocked down bit-by-bit (see photos below), and almost literally buried in its own basement and covered, and the land was returned to its original bucolic splendor.  During a visit there last fall, I could barely even make out where the place used to stand.  But it's not all bad in Richfield today—they do have a McDonald’s now...

Start counting the days, folks!

As of tomorrow, only 600 more days until this (literally) bloody administration is ovah! Why do I have a bad feeling the worst is still yet to come, tho?

A-S-I-N-I-N-E
That’s my humble opinion of the overblown coverage ESPN and ABC are giving today’s National Spelling Bee event—they’re covering the damn thing like it’s Game 7 of the World Series.  First off, just like poker, spelling is not a sport!  It sure doesn’t belong on ESPN—seems to me the Learning Channel might be more appropriate for a spelling bee, but they’re too busy airing such "educational" fare as "American Chopper".  I also think it’s pathetic the way the networks exploit these kids just for ratings on shows like this.

Just as an aside, I nearly won a spelling bee once, finishing second in the mighty 1975 all-5th-grade spelling bee at my school.  It came down to me and a kid from the class across the hall, and I tripped up on the word superfluous.  I got the spelling right, but we also had to define the word, and I didn’t quite nail the definition.  Some of my classmates were actually more upset than I was that I lost—they thought I got screwed on a technicality.  Oh well, fuck it—first prize was just a lousy ribbon anyway, so I got over it...

SHUT UP, KOBE!
I’m already sick of hearing L.A. Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant bitching and whining about wanting to be traded (or not wanting to be traded, depending on which way the wind is blowing).  I lost all respect for this fucker anyway during his rape trial in Colorado a few years ago.  I know he wasn’t convicted there, but if nothing else, it proved that he’s a first-class asshole, and it’s schmucks like him and Shaq that really have turned me off toward the NBA.  I used to love the NBA when I was a kid (even before the Kings came to town), but now I couldn’t even tell you when the last time was I actually sat through an entire NBA game on TV from start to finish because they’re so fucking boring.  I can still watch college basketball until the cows come home if it’s a team I care about or if it’s the NCAA Tournament or Big 12 Tournament, but the NBA is more sleep-inducing than Sominex and Don Imus put together...

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #33
"Hair Of The Dog"--NAZARETH (1975) "Heartbreaker, soul shaker..." I, like many other listeners, thought it went "Heartbreaker, salt shaker..."!

WON’T THEY EVER LEARN?
Speaking of NBA assholes that I can really do without, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says he’s trying to recruit several other billionaires to help form a new football league that would play games on Friday nights in the fall and compete directly against the NFL.  What makes him think they’re going to be any more successful than the previous attempts to rival the NFL that failed miserably?  Let’s see, the old WFL lasted two seasons in the '70s, the USFL lasted three seasons in the '80s, and the dreaded XFL lasted one whole year earlier this decade—that’s six full seasons between the three leagues.  The only league that was able to match the NFL stride-for-stride for any length of time was the AFL in the ‘60s, and that was mostly because there were only 12 teams in the NFL when Lamar Hunt conceived of the AFL (and two of those were in Chicago until the Cardinals moved to St. Louis), so there was far more demand for teams than there is now with 32 teams in the NFL.  I also remember a proposed league about ten years or so ago called the Professional Spring Football League (the Pissful?), but it never got past the planning stages, as the potential owners realized they were pissing in the wind and said Fuhgeddaboutit.  Then again, it'd almost be worth it to see Mr. Cuban lose his shirt over it...

My General Moody-ness

I'm not generally a big fan of "Progressive" Rock bands in general, but one Prog Rock band that truly honks my hooter is the Moody Blues, victims of quite possibly the biggest snubbing of all-time by the vaunted Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame.  Some people consider the Moodies to be too lightweight or too high-brow or too mellow, while many aging hippies merely considered them to be great music to get high by back in the day, but they are a very important band in Rock history, and a band whose body of work (particularly their '60s and early '70s output) continues to grow on me after each listen.

The Moody Blues are also unique in that they started off as a Pop band during the British Invasion, scoring a hit in 1965 with "Go Now!", sung by future Paul McCartney co-hort Denny Laine, but they quickly fizzled out after that, and were on the verge of breaking up at one point.  Laine and their original bassist, the late Clint Warwick, left the band and were replaced by bassist John Lodge and guitarist Justin Hayward, the latter of whom nearly joined Eric Burdon and The Animals—good gracious, how that move would have altered music history in unfathomable ways!  They tried to carry on playing the same old Pop clap-trap, but soon realized they were destined for bigger and better things, and one thing led to another, thus they wound up making the landmark album Days Of Future Passed, which was initially intended by the record company to merely demonstrate the newly-emerging stereo format for vinyl records.  Days was such a wildly successful record amongst both the critics and the fans that the record company gave the Moody Blues free reign and unprecedented latitude to make their next album, and from then on, they enjoyed incredible artistic freedom for a British Rock band in the late '60s.

It's easy to only think of Justin Hayward's songs when you think of the Moody Blues because he sings on most of their big hits (esp. during the '80s), but it was only recently that I came to realize the unsung contributions that former Moodies Mike Pinder and Ray Thomas brought to this band.  Pinder was a wizard on the keyboards, and pioneered the use of the mellotron in Rock music.  The mellotron was a rather cantankerous instrument that used tape loops to sample different sounds like strings and horns and such.  Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road LP features quite a bit of mellotron on it, and even Lynyrd Skynyrd used one on "Tuesday's Gone" (very noticeable during the extended solo in the middle of that song), and Pinder used it to make the Moody Blues sound like they were backed by a full orchestra on their records, like on tracks such as "Gypsy (Of A Strange And Distant Time)", "The Actor" and even "I'm Just A Singer (In A Rock 'N' Roll Band)".  Also, Pinder's is the voice you hear reciting the "Late Lament" poem at the end of "Nights In White Satin".

Meantime, multi-tasker and fan favorite Ray Thomas played the flute, sax, and various percussion instruments and provided amazing backing vocals along with the occasional lead vocal, like on his signature song "Legend Of A Mind" (aka, "Timothy Leary's Dead", to those aforementioned aging hippies).  If you ever want to hear a really mesmerizing backing vocal performance, check out Brother Ray on "The Actor" from In Search Of The Lost Chord as his haunting falsetto just floods the background during the choruses of the song, giving it a wonderful trippy-ness that you don't even need to smoke a joint to enjoy.  Ray's backing vocals are also very prominent on "Nights In White Satin" and "The Story In Your Eyes", among many others.

The Moody Blues pretty much hit the wall in early 1973 following a concert tour, exhausted from their prodigious output of seven albums in a little over five years.  The band took a break and they each pursued solo projects (Lodge and Hayward worked together on a successful album called Blue Jays in 1975), and when the Moodies reconvened in late 1977, Pinder's heart was no longer in the group, so he departed after the recording of 1978's semi-successful comeback album Octave.  The comeback was completed on 1981's Long Distance Voyager, with former Yes keyboardist Patrick Moraz replacing Pinder, and his contribution was immediately noticeable on the track "Gemini Dream".  Moraz remained with the band throughout the '80s, but curiously he barely even rated a mention in their 1993 box set Time Traveller, where he's credited as "additional keyboards", even though at the time Moraz was considered a full-fledged member of the group and appeared in all their videos.

I have to say that I enjoyed the Moody Blues' '80s music at that time, but as I listen to it now, stuff like "Your Wildest Dreams" and "I Know You're Out There Somewhere" pales in comparison to their '60s and early '70s catalog.  By the '80s, they were under record company pressure to churn out hit singles instead of cohesive albums, which were far less satisfying.  They continue to tour to this day (usually with an orchestra in tow every other tour), and what a coincidence—their set list leans heavily on those first seven albums.  Sadly, Ray Thomas was forced to retire about five years ago because of health issues, having already been relegated to tambourine duty on stage for many years—except during "Legend Of A Mind", where he usually brought the house down—but Lodge, Hayward, and drummer Graeme Edge continue to soldier on.  Not unlike with Cheap Trick, it depends on what night you catch the Moodies as to what live band you get.  In beer parlance, some nights are Michelob Ultra, while others are watered-down Miller Lite.

There are a ton of Moody Blues greatest hits compilation CDs out there, but none of them really do the band justice, apart from the box set.  Better yet, I suggest just investing in those first seven albums on CD (all remastered now too) and a good set of headphones, then just kick back and enjoy...


And you know damn well a band is important if they make a cameo appearance on "The Simpsons".  D'oh!!











My All-Time Moody Blues Top 10:
1) "I'm Just A Singer (In A Rock 'N' Roll Band)" (1972)
2) "The Story In Your Eyes" (1971)
3) "Legend Of A Mind" (1968)
4) "Tuesday Afternoon" (1967)
5) "Question" (1970)
6) "The Actor" (1968)
7) "Nights In White Satin" (1967)
8) "Lovely To See You" (1969)
9) "You And Me" (1972)
10) "Gypsy (In A Strange And Distant Time") (1969)

I know you are, but what am I?

I’ve been reading a lot lately in the papers and on the Internet about who’s who and what’s what in terms of politics, and I’m desperately trying to find my own place in all of this.  I’m so sick of reading “Liberals would have you believe…” in columns written by the likes of Malkin, Goldberg, Hannity, et al, and “Conservatives would have you believe…” columns written by Franken, Gore, et al, and all the “Hooray for OUR side,” histrionics, thereof.  Thus, I’m asking for YOUR help, gentle readers.  I know I’m definitely NOT a conservative—but I’m not so sure I’m a full-blown liberal, either.  So, YOU be the judge (especially those of you who know me fairly well)—YOU tell me what the fuck I am, based on the following…

I am conservative in that I:
—don’t believe in government handouts…
—don’t quite believe in everything the ACLU stands for, especially standing up for the rights of human turds like the Rev. Fred Phelps and all the vitriolic hatred that man tries to spread, nor do I think that all the serial killers should go free, as per what some factions of the ACLU might say…
—don’t approve of “affirmative action” hiring practices (having been denied a job I really wanted once because of it)…
—don’t believe in this whole “Global Warming” shtick that Al Gore is trying to promote, nor am I buying any of this fashionable “going green” crappola…
—would like to see a tad more modesty in terms of women's fashions, and can do without tattoos and body piercings (other than ears)…
—am tired of Hollywood-types like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Madonna, et al, adopting foreign children because it's so en vogue to do so…
—feel that Al Franken is just as big an idiot as Rush Limbaugh is.  Ditto for Rosie O’Donnell…
—don’t approve of out-of-wedlock births…
—am in favor of the death penalty…
—am not all that crazy about interracial marriage/relationships…
—am resistant to change, i.e., I don't own a cell phone…
—think Tom Cruise and all the Scientologists are nut-jobs…

I am liberal in that I:
—take things on a case-by-case basis, instead of stating an opinion simply because “that's what my side dictates"…
—think that the Bush Administration is a total fucking joke…
—am totally willing to admit a mistake when I make or say one…
—hate Fox News Channel, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, et al, with a passion...
—hate the “Religious Right” and the oppression it stands for…
—don’t believe that Jewish people control all the money in the world…
—am okay with gay people and their right to exist in our country and do whatever they want behind closed doors (just don't do it in front of me, okay?)…
--believe in religious freedom and especially the right to choose NOT to be religious…
—could really do without the NRA…
—don’t believe that Ronald Reagan was the be-all/end-all President of our generation...
—don’t believe in government censorship of music (i.e., Tipper Gore and the dreaded P.M.R.C.)…
—believe the Electoral College should be abolished…
—am pro-choice…

Your thoughts will be most appreciated and duly noted...

Sunday evening comin' down...

HI-HO, THE DARIO?
Racer Dario Franchitti (pronounced 'fran-KEET-ee') won the rain-shortened Indy 500 today.  Why shorten it, I ask?  Why not run it even when it rains and make it a real challenge?  Not that driving at 225 MPH-plus on a dry track isn't already a challenge, huh?  Okay, I'm kidding, but I did find it rather humorous when pole-sitter and two-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves couldn't get his car started right away today.  As F.G. Sanford used to warn, "Pull out the choke or it won't start..."

I keep telling myself I'm going to actually attend the big race in person someday, but I have yet to do so, although I did attend a practice session for 500 once, and I highly recommend a visit to the track if you're ever in the Indianapolis area.  The raceway itself ain't much to look at on the outside—sorta like an oversized high school football stadium—but on the inside it's well worth a look.  It's been about 15 years or so since I was there, but unless they've changed things a lot, you get to take a ride around the track in a small bus, and the museum there is top-notch.  Not terribly expensive, either, as I recall.  In fact, the entire city of Indianapolis is a fun and underrated place to visit, if you get the chance.

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?
My K.C. friends who watched local kids' TV shows in the '70s and late-night programming the early '80s might.  Why, it's none other than "Uncle Ed" Muscare, host of Channel 41's "Treehouse Lane" and later the first incarnation of "All Night Live".  And guess what, folks?  He's officially registered in several states as a sex offender!  I'd heard rumors for years about him being a Major League pervert, and evidently they were true.  Based on that photo, he kinda lives up to his name, Muscare, don't he?  Makes me feel violated...

"HOPPIN' AND A-BOPPIN' WITH A SPACED-OUT CROWD...
...Top 10 music playin' way too loud." That lyric from the Nick Lowe-penned Dave Edmunds song "What Did I Do Last Night?" succinctly sums up the gig I attended this evening with some friends at a local club.  Problem was, the bass was so fucking loud that even with earplugs, I still have a headache.  There's loud and then there's stupid-loud.  The headliner was a Chicago band called Kill Hannah, who kinda sounded to me like a cross between Green Day and A Flock of Seagulls, and they weren't too bad, really, nor were the first two bands that opened the show, Flee The Seen and Five-Star Crash.  It was the third band (whose name I didn't catch) that I was least impressed with—you want to talk about incoherent White Trash noise?  They were it.  We have been slimed...

I've been out of the loop for a while when it comes to club gigs, but I seem to remember a time when the crowd would raise their Bic lighters on high to salute the band—now they raise their camera phones instead.  Just as well, I guess—I fit in with the tattoo-and-lip-piercings crowd about like Kid Rock (or Chris Rock) would at an Osmond family reunion anyway.  I was the only one there wearing royal blue, but I didn't stand out nearly as much as this late-40-something character who went prancing and dancing around the whole place wearing a Sponge Bob Square Pants poncho and matching canary yellow tights—thus making him Sponge Bob No Pants, actually.  Why do I have a bad feeling this goomer is an elementary school teacher or a relative of Uncle Ed...

Oh well, at least I got out of the house for a little while, which is something I needed anyway...

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #32
"I'm Just A Singer (In A Rock 'N' Roll Band')--THE MOODY BLUES (1972) "Teaching so many people, bridging the seas."  Dopey me, I always thought those poor people were "really diseased"!

AND FINALLY...
Happy 46th birthday to actress Peri Gilpin, better known as Roz Doyle on TV's "Frasier".  I have to admit I was always a sucker for Jane Leeves and her flaming red hair and British accent as Daphne on "Frasier" (not to mention her legs), but the more I watched the show, the more the Roz character grew on me over time, and what heterosexual guy out there isn't more than a little attracted to this woman's sexy voice?  And, oh by the way, she's rather pretty too, even when she's not dressed as Wonder Woman, although I'm loathe to admit to having a few dirty dreams about her in that get-up...