Racer Dario Franchitti (pronounced 'fran-KEET-ee') won the rain-shortened Indy 500 today. Why shorten it, I ask? Why not run it even when it rains and make it a real challenge? Not that driving at 225 MPH-plus on a dry track isn't already a challenge, huh? Okay, I'm kidding, but I did find it rather humorous when pole-sitter and two-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves couldn't get his car started right away today. As F.G. Sanford used to warn, "Pull out the choke or it won't start..."
I keep telling myself I'm going to actually attend the big race in person someday, but I have yet to do so, although I did attend a practice session for 500 once, and I highly recommend a visit to the track if you're ever in the Indianapolis area. The raceway itself ain't much to look at on the outside—sorta like an oversized high school football stadium—but on the inside it's well worth a look. It's been about 15 years or so since I was there, but unless they've changed things a lot, you get to take a ride around the track in a small bus, and the museum there is top-notch. Not terribly expensive, either, as I recall. In fact, the entire city of Indianapolis is a fun and underrated place to visit, if you get the chance.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?
My K.C. friends who watched local kids' TV shows in the '70s and late-night programming the early '80s might. Why, it's none other than "Uncle Ed" Muscare, host of Channel 41's "Treehouse Lane" and later the first incarnation of "All Night Live". And guess what, folks? He's officially registered in several states as a sex offender! I'd heard rumors for years about him being a Major League pervert, and evidently they were true. Based on that photo, he kinda lives up to his name, Muscare, don't he? Makes me feel violated..."HOPPIN' AND A-BOPPIN' WITH A SPACED-OUT CROWD...
...Top 10 music playin' way too loud." That lyric from the Nick Lowe-penned Dave Edmunds song "What Did I Do Last Night?" succinctly sums up the gig I attended this evening with some friends at a local club. Problem was, the bass was so fucking loud that even with earplugs, I still have a headache. There's loud and then there's stupid-loud. The headliner was a Chicago band called Kill Hannah, who kinda sounded to me like a cross between Green Day and A Flock of Seagulls, and they weren't too bad, really, nor were the first two bands that opened the show, Flee The Seen and Five-Star Crash. It was the third band (whose name I didn't catch) that I was least impressed with—you want to talk about incoherent White Trash noise? They were it. We have been slimed...
I've been out of the loop for a while when it comes to club gigs, but I seem to remember a time when the crowd would raise their Bic lighters on high to salute the band—now they raise their camera phones instead. Just as well, I guess—I fit in with the tattoo-and-lip-piercings crowd about like Kid Rock (or Chris Rock) would at an Osmond family reunion anyway. I was the only one there wearing royal blue, but I didn't stand out nearly as much as this late-40-something character who went prancing and dancing around the whole place wearing a Sponge Bob Square Pants poncho and matching canary yellow tights—thus making him Sponge Bob No Pants, actually. Why do I have a bad feeling this goomer is an elementary school teacher or a relative of Uncle Ed...
Oh well, at least I got out of the house for a little while, which is something I needed anyway...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #32
"I'm Just A Singer (In A Rock 'N' Roll Band')--THE MOODY BLUES (1972) "Teaching so many people, bridging the seas." Dopey me, I always thought those poor people were "really diseased"!
AND FINALLY...
Happy 46th birthday to actress Peri Gilpin, better known as Roz Doyle on TV's "Frasier". I have to admit I was always a sucker for Jane Leeves and her flaming red hair and British accent as Daphne on "Frasier" (not to mention her legs), but the more I watched the show, the more the Roz character grew on me over time, and what heterosexual guy out there isn't more than a little attracted to this woman's sexy voice? And, oh by the way, she's rather pretty too, even when she's not dressed as Wonder Woman, although I'm loathe to admit to having a few dirty dreams about her in that get-up...
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