Hall of Shame?

Last night’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony was a strange affair, to put it kindly.  VH-1 Classic aired it live for the first time, and now I can see why they’ve always taped and edited it down for later broadcast.  This interminable affair outlasted this year’s Oscar ceremony by a good 25 minutes at four hours and ten minutes, and it contained as many awkward moments as it did highlights.  A little recap for you:

• The evening began with a montage similar to the one from the Oscars of those music people who passed away over the last year.  A Gold Star to the HOF people for even being up-to-date enough to include Brad Delp…
• It was very fitting that they paid tribute to Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun, but it didn’t need to take up 30 minutes of the show.  Aretha Franklin sang in his honor, and she sounded like shit.  I know this will probably piss some people off when I say this, but I think she’s highly overrated anyway—she was good, but not THAT good!  If you want soulful, go with my girl Dusty Springfield…
• The unsinkable Keith Richards (he’s going to outlive us all, somehow!) was the presenter for the Ronettes.  Does anyone know why he wears those Christmas ornaments/fishing tackle in his hair?  Whatever it is, it looks really dorky.  Looks like Keef’s been dipping into the Grecian Formula 16 too…
• I was surprised and impressed to see that Ronnie Spector has lost a lot of weight.  Last time I saw her on TV, she was about as big as Ann Wilson at her heaviest, but now Ronnie’s somewhere between that and her size when she was in the Eddie Money video.  Was also surprised to hear that she can still bring it, vocally.  But, for someone with such a great singing voice, she has a dreadful speaking voice—she sounds like Fran Drescher with a head cold when she talks!  Spector also fumbled through this big-ass list of names of people to thank, and kept losing her place.  Springsteen did the same thing a few years back—reading off some 3 x 5 cards (poorly)—and he looked rather foolish.  You’d think these people would at least practice their acceptance speeches a couple times—it’s not like they don’t have time to rehearse.
• Okay, I was against Patti Smith being inducted in the first place so I’m a little biased, but if she’s so bloody great, then why didn’t she perform more of her own songs instead of doing the Stones’ "Gimme Shelter"?  Class acts like Deep Purple and the Moody Blues are passed over in favor of this?  Why?  But, I’ve been through all that already (see my mid-December RNRHOF rant).
• I could have done without Rev. Al Sharpton’s tribute speech on James Brown.  Actually, I think the whole world could do without Rev. Al Sharpton, period…
• I could also have done without VH-1 "reporter" Aamer Haleem’s unnecessary interruptions.  This cow-eyed bozo is the 21st century version of Kurt Loder.
• I’m sure under more favorable circumstances, they would have saved Van Halen for last, but VH was inducted third.  See my separate post for the Van Halen saga…
• Next came Gaspasser Flash and the Fucked-up Five, or whatever their name is.  Sorry kids, but I refuse to recognize this garbage as music.  This is not a racial thing, either—I love good Soul and R&B music as much as anyone—but, Rap is NOT music in my book, and it’s a travesty to me that these goomers are in the ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Hall of Fame.  However, I was rather tickled by the tepid reception these clowns got from the audience following their "performance".
• Presenter Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam droned on and on during his 15-minute filibuster about R.E.M. before they finally were inducted.  I still think R.E.M. has a little more to prove before they are Hall-worthy, but that’s just me.  Their performance was pretty uneven too.
• Then of course, there was the obligatory all-star jam for the finale—I hate these!  You wind up with six guitar players, three bass players, two or three drummers and ten different people tripping over each other to get to a microphone and sing a line or two, and it sounds like total crap!  Then again, that seemed to be the theme of the evening this time, so it was fitting...