It really makes you wonder...

Time to get serious for a bit, here.  I've been doing a lot of thinking this week about Brad Delp's suicide last weekend.  It's one of those deals that just leaves you scratching your head.

Personality-wise, the members of Boston were always kind of a mystery to me.  Unlike other groups of that era like Kiss, Van Halen, Aerosmith, et al, about whom I knew pretty much all there was to know, Boston kinda flew under the radar, thus I knew very little about Brad Delp's personal life prior to this week.  All accounts have painted him as a truly nice man who was most accomodating to his fans and very cooperative to work with as a musician, and we already know that he was a talented individual, and well-respected in music circles.  He evidently took care of himself (he was a vegetarian), had no apparent alcohol or drug problems, and his family life seemed on the upswing with his impending marriage.

So what on earth was it that led to him taking his own life in such a pre-meditated way?  Based on the contents of the suicide notes he left behind, Delp was bound and determined to kill himself, going so far as having a "Plan B" in case "Plan A" failed.  It's hard to believe that there were no outward signs of how deep his depression was, although some people are very adept at masking such things, I guess.  Unless I'm missing some important details here, Brad Delp apparently had no "cry for help" in the days/weeks leading up to his death.  It'd be easy to say that he just "snapped", but given the meticulous nature and thoroughness of his suicide—he even had the consideration to warn the EMT's about potential carbon monoxide danger in one of his notes—this doesn't strike me as an impulsive act.  I can only speculate that something in the wiring of his brain just went terribly wrong a while back and it just festered because it's like he went out of his way to kill himself, and that's what makes this whole thing so bizarre.

I've fought depression off-and-on for years, but I have never even approached that level of despair to the point of wanting to just end it all, and even if I did approach that level, I'd like to think that I would at least try to seek help first.  I don't think I'd have the guts to commit suicide, anyway, but if I ever try it, I hope someone's there to head me off at the pass.  Brad Delp had no such guardian angel, apparently.

Rest in peace, Brad.