COMMON SENSE (AND COURTESY) PREVAILS!
A wrong has been righted today as the Minnesota Vikings have decided not to take away the game check of wide receiver Troy Williamson, who took leave of the team last week to attend the funeral of his grandmother, to whom he was very close. The team initially threatened to fine Williamson a week's pay, even though he was granted leave from the team in order to make funeral arrangements and coordinate travel for his brothers, at least one of whom is in the armed services. Evidently, cooler heads have prevailed and head coach Brad Childress came forward today and openly admitted that the team screwed up here, and I commend him for it.
I’m already cringing over the ads for TV Land’s latest upcoming pointless countdown show, "The Top 50 TV Icons of All-Time," which features Sarah Jessica Parker mixed in with other TV luminaries like A. Bunker and R. Kramden. Yes, I know these shows are designed to generate tons of debate and discussion around the water cooler at work the next day, but surely they jest! You mean to tell me that Mole-zilla from "Sex And The City" is in the same league with Mary Richards and Lucy Ricardo? I’ve always thought SATC was highly-overrated anyway—to me that show was an insufferable bore about four shallow, self-absorbed women on an inexorable quest to find the ultimate pair of strappy sandals! Sorry kids, but I thought SJP was much better on "Square Pegs" in the ‘80s, and Kim Cattrall will always be "Lassie" from Porky’s to me.
THE FORCE IS WITH US!
Congrats to the mighty Air Force Academy for dropping the Notre Dame Failing Irish to 1-9 today. Cheer up, all you little buckaroos in South Bend—I hear your debate team is really kicking ass this year!
EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN...
...why I'm supposed to give a shit about this white trash bounty hunter A&E reality show guy who hurled racial epithets at somebody in an interview. Is he like, important, or something?
Delicious irony tonight as the New York Islanders' Miroslav Satan scored the game-winning goal in a 2-1 win over the New Jersey Devils. Yes, I know the man's surname is pronounced "sha-TAN", but it's still funny to me.
Just when I finally started respecting the Osmond family, I lost a bit of respect for them when Donny & Marie made the rounds on the talk shows following the death of their father this week, having pity parties with Oprah and Larry King. Do me a favor, kids, and don't play the "please respect our privacy" card after this. Oh by the way, I'm not buying that whole fainting spell bit that Marie pulled on "Dancing With The Has-Beens" last week, either—that was just another publicity stunt cooked up by the producers, just like last year when they had that one-legged bitch who was once married to Paul McCartney on their show. Pure hooey!
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #57
"Jet Airliner"--STEVE MILLER BAND (1977) "Why deny I got tears in my eyes..." I first thought Steve sang "Friday night—I got tears in my eyes..." which didn't make a whole lotta sense...
CLASSIC MISHEARD GENDER #1
"Hot Child In The City"—NICK GILDER (1978) Not a lyric, but a gender this time—did anyone else besides me think it was a chick singing the first time you heard this song? Even when I saw Nicky-boy on "American Bandstand", I wasn’t totally convinced he was really a guy because he was so girly-looking…
CLASSIC MISHEARD GENDER #2
"Jackie Blue"--OZARK MOUNTAIN DAREDEVILS (1975) I experienced the same phenomenon for several years with OMD’s classic "Jackie Blue"—I coulda swore that was a girl singing until I caught them on "The Midnight Special" and saw this tenor-voiced dude with a beard doing the lead vocals. Didn’t he sound like Anne Murray crossed with Joni Mitchell? Great song, too.
Is there anyone out there who would actually fork over 50 bucks (plus "convenience" charge) just to see Michael McDonald in concert? Evidently, Ameristar Casino thinks some people will. Nothing personal against MM—he’s a decent singer and seems like a nice guy and all—but I hardly think it’s worthwhile to spend half a c-note just to hear him warble "What A Fool Believes" and a bunch of tired old Motown songs all night. Oh well, to each their own…
WELL, SHUT MY MOUTH!
A little trivia for you, which even I didn't know until yesterday—Telma Hopkins of Tony Orlando & Dawn fame is the one who utters "Shut yo mouth!" on Isaac Hayes' classic "Theme From Shaft". They say that cat was a bad mutha, by the way...
"HER FACE IS CRACKED FROM SMILIN'..."
During a swing Downtown the other night, a billboard sign reminded me that this bitch was back on the air again on local radio. Ah yes, none other Ms. Holier-Than-Thou herself, Dr. Laura. Doesn't she remind you of those evil substitute teachers you got stuck with in elementary school? I'd sooner seek self-improvement advice from Paris Hilton...