La-La-La-La means...

…I forgot the words!

Sorry, couldn’t resist a little pun on the classic Delfonics hit from 1969—about as smooth as they get, too!

I REMEMBER WHEN ROCK WAS YOUNG…
…and that seems an eternity ago now.  I saw by the paper today that the Steve Miller Band is scheduled to play a show on New Year’s Eve at the Pavilion at John Knox Village in nearby Lee’s Summit.  Sounds like a swingin’ concert venue, right?  Guess again—John Knox is a retirement village!  Now I realize that Steve Miller just turned 65 himself a couple weeks ago, but Rock ‘N’ Roll in an old-folks’ home?!?  I’m not sure which is more warped about this, the venue or that they have the chutzpah to charge $60 a head to get in for a guy who hasn’t put out a decent record in over 20 years.  They also say .38 Special is playing the Pavilion in February for 40 bucks a pop.  Wouldn’t $38 tickets be more appropo for the occasion?

LIVING IN THE PAST
There’s yet another Kiss CD box set due out this week, called Kiss Ikons.  One box set wasn’t enough?  This time, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley have contrived to put out this four-disc, 60-song compilation with each disc featuring one original band member’s vocals exclusively—i.e. a Gene disc, a Paul disc, et al.  Even Peter Criss gets a full-fledged disc here.  Jeez, you can only repackage the band’s music so many ways, dude.  I’m reminded of how the record company milked the late Jim Croce’s music catalog to death by first putting out a best-of album Photographs & Memories, then followed it up with Jim Croce’s Greatest Character Songs and Jim Croce’s Greatest Hits that Start With The Letter R, et al.  Pretty warped, considering the man only put out three full studio albums in the first place…

And so it goes with Kiss.  This continual rehash of old Kiss material only serves to alienate long-time fans like me—how’s about a NEW Kiss album, Gene?  No way in hell we’ll ever get a new record out of the original lineup with Ace and Peter, but I wouldn’t mind hearing what Kiss would sound like in the studio with Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer on some new material.  Stanley at least still writes and records songs, having released a solo album two years ago that wasn’t half-bad, but Gene is apparently content to rest on his laurels (and his fat ass) and continue mining the past, which unfortunately is very finite.  It isn’t just Kiss who practices this—it seems like just about every Classic Rock act suddenly lost their creativity in the early ‘90s and they don’t even try to produce anything new and meaningful now.  Why is this?  I’ve posed this question before here, but has Rock ‘N’ Roll truly run out of things to say?  As much as I loathe the music of John Cougar Bandcamp, I at least give him credit for continuing to give his fans some new stuff now and then.

TRULY SATANIC
Tonight on the hockey docket:  New Jersey at Atlanta.  This means tomorrow we can honestly say "The Devils went down to Georgia…"  As you may or may not know, the New Jersey Devils are my favorite NHL squad, and I’ve always thought us fans should be called the "Devils’ Advocates"…

MORE RANCOR AT ARROWHEAD
The Chefs tried and failed to trade disgruntled tight end Tony Gonzalez this week after he asked the team to deal him to a contender.  Can’t say I blame him, really—this team is going nowhere fast, and apparently owner Clark Hunt has no intention of cleaning house in the front office and/or coaching staff anytime soon.  Meantime, running back Larry Johnson has been accused of being a dumbass again over some shoving incident with a woman at a bar last February.  I’m surprised the Chefs aren’t on some sort of TV reality show by now…

By the way, does anyone out there know why ESPN’s Chris Berman always calls Larry Johnson "Grandmamma"?  I understand Boomer’s penchant for nicknaming every player, but the only Grandmamma I can think of in popular culture was on "The Addams Family", and she bore no resemblance to LJ.

THANK YOU, PHILLIES!
For making it to the World Series.  I don’t think I could take the whole Manny Ramirez vs. Boston soap opera that Fox Sports was hoping for.  Looks like the Red Sox may not even make it to the Show themselves either.  Fine by me, as I always like to see a new match-up in the Series, especially involving a team that hasn't won it or even been in it before.

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #98
"Good Lovin’ Gone Bad"—BAD COMPANY (1976)  "And when I say 'it's over, that’s it--I’m gonna quit!'"  Paul Rodgers confused me by sounding indecisive here:  "That’s IF I’m gonna quit."

THE BLUEBIRD OF LAMENESS
Apparently Missouri can’t "Show Me" any more creative car tags for 2008-09, so we’re stuck with these beyond dull models.  And why is the state bird of Missouri a Bluebird?  In all of my 44 years living in this state, I have yet to see an actual live Bluebird in the flesh.  I’m not even sure if Bluebirds are indigenous to this region.  Hell, the state bird of Mo. oughtta be the Grackle!  I have a yard full of these buggers every Spring…


MORE CHILDHOOD DELUSIONS SHATTERED…
I hear that actress Maureen McCormick is releasing a tell-all bio on herself, and I’m not sure I want to read it or not.  I imagine she tarted up her story quite a bit in order to sell more books, but from the sounds of it, she wasn’t as sweet and innocent as we all thought, and led a fairly sordid off-screen life away from Chez Brady.  Oh, Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

ONE ACROSS YOUR LIPS!
To Hollywood’s continual lack of creativity, as it seems there were plans in place for a "Sanford & Son" big-screen film sometime next year.  That plan was scuttled by the untimely death of comedian Bernie Mac, as evidently he was going to play Fred before he wound up having his own "Big One" (of sorts) for real back in August.  Bad ideas seem to fly around Tinsel Town these days like chairs at a taping of "Geraldo"…

ALL THAT JAZZ
I've added a new link for your entertainment call "Jazz From Hell".  No, it's not a site about Kenny G or John Tesh, but rather a cool blog my friend Stacy turned me on to that has some pretty good political commentary.  The guy reminds me of me at times...