I read the news today, oh boy...

WAY TO GO, BIG DICK
Your VP Dick Cheney sez that the Democrats' attempt to thwart Dubya's Iraq troop surge plan "validates the Al-Quida strategy", yet it's okay for the Brits to withdraw 1,600 of their troops because he views that as a positive step.  "I look at it and see it is actually an affirmation that there are parts of Iraq where things are going pretty well," Dickie C. said.  That's actually true—the insurgency in Iraq is booking along pretty nicely, ain't it?

You can question my patriotism all you want when I say this, but how the fuck did we get stuck with such incompetent boobs—not to mention out-and-out war mongers—running our country?  Hate to say it, but we were sleeping at the wheel about seven years ago (myself included) when these horse's patoots took power, and even though I make jokes about this stuff, I don't mind telling you, I'm scared shitless sometimes about our future here, and this (literally) bloody administration can't end soon enough for me!

I THOUGHT REPUBLICANS DIDN'T DO THOSE THINGS...
Republican Prez. candidate John McCain originally said when Donald Rumsfeld stepped down as Sec. Of Defense that he deserved America’s undying respect.  This week, he sez that Rummy truly was a dummy—the worst Sec. Of Defense ever, no less.  You don't say?  I seem to remember a term certain Republicans/conservatives used to bandy about regarding this little phenomenon.  Ohhhh, what the hell was it?  Gimme a sec.—it’ll come to me…  Oh yeah, I remember now—I believe it was "FLIP-FLOP!"  Yeah, that was it—"Flip-flop."  Funny, but I thought that was considered to be strictly a Democratic malady...

Meantime, McCain was about the only Republican I’d even remotely consider voting for in ’08 (sorry, Rudy G., I'll pass), but he’s losing me real quick by continuing to support Bush and his urge to surge.  Talking out of both sides of his mouth ain’t helping his cause with me either…

SPEAKING OF REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES…
Ain't no way in hell I'm voting for Sen. Sam Brown-nose—er uh, Brownback from nextdoor in Kansas.  This fucker will have the teaching of evolution stricken from public schools the nanosecond he gets elected, and then he'll party like it's 1899...

And Mitt Romney?!? Sorry, but I just can’t bring myself to vote for anyone named after catching equipment…

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #11
"Born To Run"—BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN & THE E STREET BAND (1975) "Baby this town rips the bones from your back…"  I swear, I thought he said, "It’s the balls on your back!"  Whatever floats your boat, Brucie...

HERE COMES YOUR 19TH NERVOUS BREAKDOWN…
I've been refraining from weighing in on this whole Britney Spears thing so far because I was hoping the dust would settle, but just like with Anna Nicole, there's apparently no end in sight.  However, I DO have a theory about her motivation for shaving her head:  She was watching "Deal Or No Deal" and perhaps she noted how the Mr. Clean look revived Howie Mandel’s flagging career...

My question is why was/is she wearing that gawdawful blonde wig? She can afford any wig in the world, so why go with that $9.95 blue-light-special number that even Carol Channing wouldn’t go near?  Sadly, it would appear that the proverbial cheese has indeed slipped off Britney's cracker.  I kinda expected this sort of behavior out of Kelly Osbourne a couple years ago, but that hasn't materialized (yet)...

Once again, what a veritable ratings bonanza this month has been for the news media people!