Sunday, March 4, 2007

Shark Jumping 107

I'll be there for you with a few selected "Friends" Jump The Shark moments.  Keep in mind once again that I didn't write these, nor do I necessarily agree with them (although most times I do)--I just cut and paste them!

—Chandler and Monica…It isn’t so much that they are dating.  It’s the trying to hide it from the other characters for an entire season.

—And to those of you who whine about the lack of racial integration on this show, get real; how many of us can really say our closest circle of friends is racially diverse? [Good point!--B.H.]

—“Friends” jumped the shark when Monica and Rachel started competing on who could lose weight the fastest.  Both now look like they just walked out of a concentration camp.

—And yeah, it’s unrealistic, but that is why we call this fiction, boys and girls.  If you don’t like it, stop watching it. “I watch it for the hot chicks” is a crappy excuse—get a Playboy.

—The theme song sounds like a bad Monkees tune.

—Rachel, Marcia Brady called--she wants her hair back!—I can’t believe Courteney Cox married that goofy Arquette guy. Huh?  Why that “1-800-CALL-ATT” moron?  Was Carrot Top unavailable?—This is a Jenny Craig nightmare show.  Cox and Aniston look like two skeletons.  Cox’s face has the lines of a chain smoker.

—…they then turned Courteney Cox (consistently voted one of the world’s most beautiful women) into something that looked like Pippi Longstockings on a heroin bender.

—Ross Gellar—If I was his first wife, I would be a lesbian too.

—Please take a hint from “90210”:  When all the characters have run out of friends within the group to sleep with, it is time to pull the plug.

—This season (where Rachel is pregnant) is going to suck.  It will be about morning sickness, no coffee and swollen ankles.  Then next season will be about no sleep.  Then the next season, Rachel’s kid will be about six years old.  Game Over.

—How white-trash can you get:  Getting artificially inseminated with your brother’s sperm?  Is this the Jerry Springer Show?

—Enough already with blond bombshells and cute coeds chasing after Ross!  Is David Schwimmer competing with Woody Allen for most too-young, too-hot-for-him babes bagged by a schlub?

—“Friends” JTS when Monica decided eating was a hobby.  And all that accomplished was that she looked like a 45-year-old chain-smoking booze hound.  Someone give her a sandwich!!

—Monica is the worst--long straight hair that looks like a pair of black curtains framing her scrawny face.

—Rachel…thank god she got a haircut—she was looking like those Afghan dogs.

—Also REAL friends would tell Phoebe she sucks at guitar, tell Joey he sucks at acting, settle the Ross-Rachel thing once and for all, and tell Monica to stop being so damn annoying!

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