Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Enlighten us, oh Flatulent One!

The editors at The Kansas City Star are practically breaking their own arms patting themselves on the back over the way sports columnist Jason Whitlock has suddenly become the big (both literally and figuratively) media darling the past few days after he took Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to task over their unabashed grandstanding in the Don Imus flap.  Whitlock has been all over the TV this week (again, both literally and figuratively), including appearances on CNN, Oprah, etc., discussing the Rap/Hip-Hop culture’s insidious effects on kids in terms of racial and sexual relations and all.  He’s been widely praised by both the powers-that-be at the paper and numerous letter-writers for “telling it like it is”, but to all that I just have one little thing to say…

Back the truck up a minute, people!

This is the same guy who recently used the term "hoes" in his AOL column (and he wasn't referring to garden implements).  This is the same guy who’s been known to use the term “pimp-slap” and other Hip-Hop lingo in his daily Star sports columns.  This is the same guy who once taunted New England Patriots fans from the press box while covering a Chiefs game at Foxboro Stadium with a handmade sign that read “Drew Bledsoe is gay.”  This is the same guy who routinely resorts to childish name-calling in his daily columns to get his point across (“King” Carl Peterson, “Tr-INT” Green, “Prie$t” Holmes, Ty “Flaw”, et al).  This is the same guy who would routinely rip players in his column for holding out for more money and not honoring their contracts, yet he abruptly quit his own radio show a couple years ago without notice, even though he had a contract.  And yet now Jason’s suddenly the avatar of social consciousness for all to behold?  Welcome, boys and girls, to Hypocrisy 101, because this guy does NOT practice what he preaches, so who is he to criticize what other people do and say?

Okay, before you point fingers back at me—yes, I’m guilty of a little name-calling here on the blog myself (i.e., "Anderson Pooper"), but it’s usually meant in fun at people who deserve it, and unlike Whitlock, I’m not pulling in a six-figure salary to write a column for a major-market newspaper with a reputation to uphold—big difference!  I ain’t making a dime off this little venture, and since there are no rules on my blog to break, I'll say what I want.  But, if I were indeed doing this for money, I would clean up my act a little.  Just a little, though.  But I digress…

I moonlighted (moonlit?) in the Sports Dept. at the Star as a stats editor in the mid-’90s, and I can tell you firsthand that Jason Whitlock is one big jerk.  The arrogance he exudes on camera and in his columns is no act—what you see is what you get.  He rarely ever came in to the office, but during the few times he did bother to grace us with his presence, he would saunter in like his shit didn’t stink (it does, trust me!), and would even engage in heated debates with other columnists while he was there.  And the Flatulent One would often indulge in his favorite hobby while sitting at his cubicle.  "Farting is very important to me. It's a huge part of my life. I've built my entire life around farting." [That's an actual Whitlock quote, folks--I'm NOT making that up!]

This is not to say that I totally disagree with what Whitlock has been saying this week regarding Sharpton and Jackson.  On the contrary—Jason does have some very valid points there.  But, for every brilliant, thought-provoking column the man writes, there are three ignorant ones.  Whitlock all too often shoots himself in the foot with the utter stupidity and childishness that I outlined above, as well as his silly obsession with his friend Jeff George (whom he claims is the greatest quarterback this side of Joe Montana, thus still deserves another shot in the NFL), and Jason also has this irritating habit of constantly creating racial issues where there are none.  Too bad, because he has the potential to be one of the greatest sportswriters of all-time if he could ever get past his own ego...

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