I’m beginning to wonder if Chiefs head coach Herman Edwards truly is the right man for the job. When the team first hired him, I was excited by his track record of getting a mediocre franchise like the Jets to the playoffs more than once, but after just one season here in K.C., I’m a bit dismayed at how easily he gets riled up by our local media. He caused a fairly big stink yesterday during the team’s O.T.A.’s by accusing a local radio sports talk host of calling him a liar (based on what another player told him) regarding the whole Trent Green situation, even though Edwards himself hadn’t even listened to the tape of the show, during which the host in question did NOT call Edwards a liar, or anything of the sort. Then in the same conversation, Herm went on to say, “This (the Trent Green saga) is not a distraction in any stretch of the imagination.” Uhhh, Herm, it obviously IS a distraction, if you’re getting your panties all in a wad over it! And frankly, he and Pres/GM Carl Peterson are fair game to be questioned for the way they’ve handled this Trent Green thing, too.He also said, “Are you kidding me? It’s the offseason.” Precisely the point, Herm—we’re still over two months away from training camp, and you’re letting the Kansas City sports media get to you before Memorial Day? Hell, he’s already coached in the biggest media hotbed in the world (New York) and he played in what has to be the roughest sports market in terms of abuse heaped on someone by both the media and fans alike (Philadelphia)—you’d think our little Midwestern metropolis would be a breeze for him to handle, and I find it troubling that he’s so thinned-skinned over petty stuff like this.
This isn’t an isolated incident, either—Herm has this annoying habit when he’s in front of the media of getting all defensive over little stuff, then he starts pontificating about himself and what he believes in, and I honestly believe he just likes to hear himself talk smack. You get a lot of this “I’m a man,” (yes, we can see that, Herm) and “I was hired to coach,” (yes, we know, Herm) and “I’m here to coach players,” (right—we get that, Herm), and it just turns into a big mumble-jumble of jive-ass double-talk to me. Don’t get me wrong: I think he means well, and Herman Edwards has the potential to be a really great coach in the NFL, if he doesn’t allow his fragile ego to be his own downfall...
EAT STEAK! EAT STEAK!
In a rather delicious irony, I just noticed that über-vegetarian/animal rights activist Paul McCartney resides alphabetically in my CD collection right next to none other than Meat Loaf! Oh well, if it’ll make Sir Paul feel any better, I have amended my “Still Pissed At Yoko” bumper sticker to read “Still Pissed At Heather”…
SUE ME, SUE YOU BLUES—THE CONTINUING SAGA
Seems that the father of late Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock is suing everyone he can think of that might have even remotely contributed to his son’s death last month, including Mike Shannon’s Restaurant (where Josh tied one on), the tow truck driver whose truck Hancock plowed into whilst he was driving more than a little intoxicated, and even the poor soul who had the unmitigated gall to have a stalled car on the highway. Yet another example of people who can’t quite bring themselves to accept responsibility for their own actions (or in this case, a fallen family member’s actions), so their solution is to sue everyone and try to make a buck off the whole thing. According to Mr. Hancock's lawyer, "It's understood that for the entire 3½ hours that Josh Hancock was there that he was handed drinks...It's our understanding that from the moment Josh Hancock entered Mike Shannon's that night that he was never without a drink." Hmmm, and I suppose the people at Mike Shannon's conspired to get the guy drunk—and that he never ASKED for any of those drinks that were "handed" to him, huh? Yeah, right...
Hey, Papa Hancock—with all due respect to the painful loss you and your family have suffered—did it ever occur to you that your son might have been just a little involved in his own demise? Based on what we now know, it’s pretty obvious that your son had a drinking problem prior to that night and I doubt seriously that Josh was dragged kicking and screaming into Mike Shannon’s in the first place. And I suppose the marijuana that was found in Josh's vehicle was also just "handed" to him, huh? Do you plan to sue the local drug dealers, too? If anything, the tow truck driver and the motorists who shared I-64 with Josh that night should be suing YOU and your son's estate, Mr. Hancock, for his negligence in putting them in danger by being a stupid fuck and driving drunk off his ass.
Actually, I hope to hell you win this lawsuit, Mr. Hancock—it'll make things so much easier for me to sue the credit card people for putting me so deep in debt! While I'm at it, maybe I'll sue Wendy's for making me fat, too. As A. Bunker once said, "Let's hear it for the legal profession, Little Girl." [Insert Bronx cheer here]
JUST TAKE ME NOW, I’VE TRULY SEEN IT ALL…
Not that I needed any further proof that "Reverend" Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist “Church” congregation are all several fries shy of the proverbial Happy Meal of Life, but it seems that his merry band of hate-mongers actually picketed Jerry Falwell’s funeral the other day because they think he was “a friend of gays.” Huh?!? Did I miss a memo somewhere along the line? Other than Phelps himself, was Jerry Falwell not America's penultimate gay basher—the Muhammad Ali, Babe Ruth and Tiger Woods of homophobia, all rolled into one? And yet, these Neolithic dipshits claim he was gay-friendly? Someone needs to explain this one to me like I’m a three-year-old. And to think I found that whole Tinky-Winky thing with Falwell to be ludicrous…
It’s walking/talking feces like Phelps and his congregation (which is comprised mostly of his extended family, some of whom may well be their own fathers, for all we know) that make me truly wish that birth control was retroactive. I'm embarrassed to be in the same species with these mongoloids. For the uninitiated out there, these churlish and warped individuals apparently have nothing better to do with their miserable fucking lives but to spread hatred and vitriol by picketing funerals of not only gay people, but those of U.S. soldiers who died while indirectly defending their right to picket said funerals, all because they claim our country harbors homosexuals. Hell, they even picketed Billy Graham’s crusade here at Arrowhead Stadium a couple years back (see pic)—evidently that ol’ anti-Semitic homophobe Rev. Billy G. is an infidel in the eyes of these whackos! As screwy as these losers are, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they picket each other's funerals when a member of their own flock dies…Far be it for a card-carrying agnostic like me to defend organized religion, but Phelps and Co. give legitmate Christianity a bad name. What I find especially disturbing is how they involve their children in all this ugliness (see pic again)—it’s a subtle form of child abuse, when you get right down to it. I would be truly impressed if religious leaders out there—the Baptists in particular—would loudly denounce this S.O.B. by saying, “Okay, we may not condone homosexuality, but this is NOT what we’re about.” I’m also curious where Phelps and his family get the money to enable them to travel to all these funerals they protest at. Topeka, KS (their home base) to Lynchburg, VA is a two-day road trip by car, for example, and they constantly travel coast-to-coast to spread their venom. I also wonder just how much these "people" truly have to hate themselves in order to be so hateful toward others.
I've also never understood these "God-fearing Christians", either—I don't get the concept of worshipping a deity you're afraid of. And, I'm fairly confident that if there really is a God, He wouldn't send a messenger like Fred Phelps to spread His word. In the words of Twisted Sister, "If that's your best, your best won't do..."
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