Big story in K.C. and around the country the last few days has been the Kelsey Smith abduction and murder. Very tragic indeed, and my condolences go out to her friends and family, and it’s a shame there wasn’t a happy ending here. But, I’m at least glad that her body was found relatively quickly and that this didn’t turn into another one of those protracted ordeals with the nightly news updates like the Natalee Holloway thing that the media gets a hold of simply because a pretty white girl was the victim. Don't mean to be insensitive here, but couldn't you just see ol’ Greta Van Susterererern chomping at the bit, wanting to make this case her own personal cause and solve the mystery? Do you think this story would have garnered as much media coverage if Kelsey Smith was an ugly black, Hispanic or Asian girl? Hell, no—the media wouldn’t have given two shits about her (probably not even one shit). Once again, what should have remained a local story got picked up by the national networks and they milked it for ratings. Thanks to them, we have probably been given every little detail about this girl’s life, right down to her shoe size as well as her bra size, but what about all the other victims of this same kind of crime—how come all those other discarded souls out there don’t get equal time? We viewers are just as guilty when it comes this kind of hypocrisy too (me included)—this kind of thing happens every day in this country, but only when the affluent, attractive ones are the victims do we seem to give a damn.
I also love how all the radio talk show people and TV news people suddenly morph into armchair police detectives and experts on crime and parking lot security when something like this happens. I heard this idiot radio hostess this morning saying, "That girl should have fought and kicked and scratched to get away from this guy..." (or words to that effect). Don’t you think she tried all that, but was unable to? And then there was that know-it-all Nancy Grace bitch on CNN last night commenting on the "person of interest" in the security camera video (before he was arrested): "Don’t you think this person would have come forward by now to let the authorities know that he WASN’T the guy who did this?" Duhhhh, because he probably IS the one WHO DID IT, numb-nuts! Dammit, what I wouldn't give for Homey The Clown to whop that woman over the head with his sock just once…
While I’m on media hypocrisy, could someone please explain to me one more time why I should give a good Goddamn about these no-talent drunken bimbos like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Nicole Richie going in and out of rehab and/or jail? I must be a jaded old fuck, because I just don’t get why we (as a society) make celebrities out of these twits, much less obsess over their downfalls the way people do. George Carlin was damn right: "It’s a great country, but it’s a straaaange culture!" Get a fucking life, America!!!
HEY, NIEDERMAYER!!!
Congrats to my boy Scott Niedermayer and the Anaheim Ducks for winning the Stanley Cup last night! He was always a favorite player of mine during his time with the New Jersey Devils and their three Stanley Cup wins, and was very instrumental in my own fantasy hockey championship this season, so it was great to not only see him hoist the Cup as the Mighty Quacks’ captain, but also to see him win the Conn Smythe Trophy as the playoff M.V.P. Now that the hockey season is over, there will be a spike in razor and shaving cream sales as the players shed their "playoff beards".
The NHL also needs to address their abysmally low TV ratings for the finals, where they were getting drubbed nightly by "Dukes of Hazzard" reruns (I think that episode with the car chase in it was on last night). Hell, even test patterns were outdrawing hockey this week. No doubt the 2004-05 labor dispute/lockout has a lot to do with people tuning out, but it’s still a great game, and I hope they turn things around soon. One thing they’ve gotta do is get on a more prominent TV network, and for Pete's sake, shorten the damn playoffs! It takes two full months to do four playoff rounds, and if the Finals had gone the distance, they would have played Game 7 next Monday. Even though I love hockey to death, it’s nuckin’ futs that they’re still playing in June. Hockey is a winter sport—they should either start the regular season earlier or shorten it, play doubleheaders, whatever—anything to ensure the playoffs end by Memorial Day, at the latest…
There also may be some merit to what others have suggested that there are too many teams in the NHL, thus diluting the talent pool and caliber of play. Contraction might not be such a bad thing in this case—do we really need two teams in L.A.? Three teams in the New York area? Two in Florida? Do we really need the Phoenix Coyotes at all? Something to think about…
S’LONG TRENT, BEEN GOOD TA KNOW YA…
The Trent Green/Chiefs soap opera finally came to an end this week, as they finally worked out a trade with the Miami Dolphins. Hate to see him go, but it’s time. He had a great run here, but his best days are behind him as a player, and the Chiefs need to move on and I really think Green should retire—he’s one more concussion away from being a vegetable. Trent's crazy if he thinks he's going to play another 3-4 years, but hey, more power to him if he does...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #34
"The Beat Goes On"—SONNY & CHER (1967) "Charleston was once a rage, uh-huh…" Sonny sang it like he was saying something about Charo, the singer, not Charleston, the '20s dance craze. "Charo’s tits were once a rage, uh-huh..." Would’ve fit right in long about 1973…
LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT, ALREADY!
Seems that the Fred Phelps’ clan of Neanderthals was at it again this week, stirring up trouble while picketing another soldier’s funeral in Nebraska, for which Phelps’ sister/overzealous lawyer Shirley Phelps-Roper was arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Seems that her ten-year-old son was involved, standing/stomping on an American flag as part of their protest over our country’s alleged harboring of gay people. "Every symbol of the rebellious, doomed America must necessarily be disrespected," Phelps-Roper said. "We did our duty today to our God and fellow man. Our job is to cause this nation to know her abomination. The thing they worship, the flag, is worthless. It's a piece of cloth."Okay, I'm hardly a flag-waver here, and I don't believe in all that symbolism crap, but this is pretty low-rent stuff, and I have a news flash for you, Shirl—there are homosexuals in every blasted country in the world! And if y’all hate this country so damn much, then do the rest of us a big fucking favor and move to another country and do your protesting there, preferably somewhere in the Middle East. I swear, these weirdos mystify me—it's as if they live just to spread hate and ugliness, and I can't help but wonder—what's in it for them? I also can't help but wonder why any heterosexual man who can see clearly would fuck this woman even once! I think I'd rather be queer than sleep with that ugly bitch...
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