THANK YOU, MOTHER NATURE!
Finally, some tolerable weather in K.C. to enjoy! A lovely cold front came through here last night and dropped the temp. and humidity to more humane levels after we’ve spent almost exactly one month in the mid-‘90s or higher virtually every day. They’re even predicting lows later this week around 60. In the words of Airman Adrian Cronauer, "Me without my muff!"
MEET THE NEW BLOG…
In my recent surfing travels, I came across the blog of one Dr. Sardonicus, and found it quite entertaining. He and I seem to be kindred spirits musically, so I added him to my required reading list. Hell, anyone who advocates listening to Motorhead can’t be all bad…
To the palooka who attempted to con me into posting his for-profit website url under the guise of a "comment" on my blog—I ain’t fallin’ for it, buddy! For this very reason, I highly recommend that those of you with blogs of your own moderate all incoming comments. I’m pretty benevolent about accepting whatever comments come to me, whether I agree with them or not, and this is the first one I’ve actually rejected in nine months of blogging. As Maj. Frank Burns once said, "Go peddle your petunias!"
THANKS FOR THE WARNING…My K.C. friends who read the paper regularly will understand where I’m coming from here. This douche’s "gossip" columns are the epitome of vapidity. One of these fine days, I’m going to do a complete blog entry on this grown man who uses such sophomoric phrases as "schmooze", "weather wonk", "beggar extraordinaire", "kiddie bopper" and "homeless dude" in his daily columns.
A ROYAL SCAM
Regular K.C. Star readers who are as tired as I am of seeing Hearne’s ugly mug all the time are also likely just as weary of seeing this ugly little fucker in the paper every day. This "charity" sounds like a regal ripoff to me to begin with, but can’t they at least feature a slightly less hideous child in their ad? Screw the cancer thing—get this poor urchin an orthodontist already! As Foghat sang in "Boogie Motel", this kid "has a smile like a beat-up piano."
FUNNY MAN RAY
I caught a portion of one of NBC’s numerous "Saturday Night Live" retrospective shows last night, during which they aired a clip of the late Ray Charles performing Johnny Nash’s "I Can See Clearly Now." A good 30-40 seconds elapsed before I finally caught the irony there! I’m getting a little slow in my old age…
PUT THE MOUSE BACK IN THE HOUSE, BUDDY!
Seems this Senator Larry Craig from Idaho got busted for offering his Mr. Happy to an undercover cop in an airport toilet. The guy now sounds like Mr. Garrison on "South Park" with all his "I’m not gay!" denials. Apparently, he didn’t learn a thing from singer George Michael’s similar scandal a few years back. That's right, Mr. Garrison!
BACK UP THOSE THREATS, ALREADY!
Once again, we’re being barraged by these law enforcement commercials about drunk driving, telling us that if we’re caught doing so, we’re going to jail. I don’t disagree with their cause, but instead of lecturing us with these silly TV and radio spots, how about making an example of these celebrity twits like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson, Nicole Richie, et al, who keep getting busted for this? Their message (the authorities', that is) would carry a helluva lot more weight if they could make a few of these convictions actually stick and force these spoiled celebrities and athletes to do real time in the pokey instead of letting them skate on it all the time.
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #48
"Mother And Child Reunion"—PAUL SIMON (1972) "The mother and child reunion is only a moment away." I mistook "moment" for "motion". Some 35 years later, I still don’t understand what this song is about, but I like it anyway.
SAVING SOMETHING FOR A RAINY DAY…
Speaking of classic Top 40 hits, I was listening to an all-time favorite of mine on the radio today, "Tears Of A Clown" by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles. A lot of people don’t know that this song was actually recorded in 1967, but in what may well be the ultimate act of self-restraint in music history, Motown didn’t release the record until over three years later, and it eventually hit #1 around Christmastime, 1970. If I ever meet Smokey, or even Motown founder Berry Gordy, Jr., I’d love to ask how on earth they could sit on a song that incredible for so long without putting it out? As good as "Tears" was, it would surely have hit #1 just as easily in ’67 as it did in late, '70.