...BRITNEY LAYS AN(OTHER) EGG
Not that I really give a rat's tuckus (sp?) about this no-talent bimbo, but evidently all three of Britney Spears' remaining fans are distraught over her phoned-in performance at this weekend's MTV Video Music Awards crapfest. I don't have a problem with her gaining a little weight—she actually looks better to me this way—but I do have issues with someone who gives a half-assed performance, especially a career lip-syncher like Ms. B.S. Dumb question, but if she ain't really singing anyway, then why did she need that microphone battery pack thing sticking out of the crack of her ass?
Meantime, apart from NFL preseason games and Enron stock, is there anything more utterly worthless today than MTV? Twenty years ago I'd never have believed I'd be saying this, but if my cable provider, Compost (oops—Comcast) dropped MTV from their channel lineup, I wouldn't miss it one bit. They can take VH-1 and their "Celebreality" caca with it, too. It seems a tad pointless to me to have a video awards program on eMptTV when they rarely (if ever) show videos on their airwave in the first place. Makes me long for the good ol' days of MTV with Martha Quinn in her mini-skirt and red tights and redhead news cutie Tabitha Soren. I actually even miss Randee Of The Redwoods and Kevin Seal—two of the biggest dorks this side of Jack Osbourne. Hell, even Downtown Julie Brown and her incessant "Wubba Wubba Wubba" mantra would be a step in the right direction as opposed to all this "Cribs"/"Pimp My Ride"/"Road Rules"/"Real World" crappola...
ONE THING THAT REALLY SUCKS ABOUT FOOTBALL
On a more somber note, best wishes go out to Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett, who suffered a spinal cord injury in yesterday's game against Denver, and he may well never walk again. The play where Everett was injured looked innocuous enough, but evidently he got hit in just the right spot to cause major damage to his cervical spine. What sucks is if he'd tilted his head half-an-inch one way or the other, he'd be fine right now. It always amazes me how some players practically get maimed on some plays and bounce right back up, and others are paralyzed during relatively non-vicious hits. Let's hope Kevin Everett makes the best possible recovery...
HUGHIE THOMASSON, 1952-2007
Sadly, yet another passing to report on in the Southern Rock world, as former Outlaws/Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Hughie Thomasson died yesterday of a heart attack in Brooksville, FL. Hughie wrote and sang The Outlaws' two major classics "There's Goes Another Love Song" and "Green Grass And High Tides", as well as singing on one of my favorite cover versions songs ever, the venerable "(Ghost) Riders In The Sky" in 1980. Hughie left Skynyrd a couple years ago after touring with them for many years, and there was an Outlaws reunion in the works at the time of his death. R.I.P., Hughie...
SPARKY T. PENGUIN IS SO RIGHT—OR SHOULD I SAY CORRECT?
(Click pic to enlarge)
I love T. Tomorrow's This Modern World strip. I'm not a full-blown liberal, but I do tend to lean to the left, much to the chagrin of certain close friends of mine (you know who you are!), and this guy's comics are usually dead-solid on target.
As for this Larry Craig character, there was an interesting article in Newsleak—sorry—Newsweek this week about his encounter with the undercover cop in the can at the Minneapolis aeroport. Evidently Mr. Anti-Gay Republican Politician has been accused of pitching for both teams for over 25 years now, too. Can't have it both ways, buddy...
Just uttered by ESPN's Ron Jaworski on "Monday Night Football": "And do you know who the biggest Johnson of all is?"
In the words of ZZ Top: "I wouldn't touch it with a Ten Foot Pole..."
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #51
"Baby Hold On"--EDDIE MONEY (1978) "Rich man, poor man--really don't mean all that much." Sounded to me like Ed sang "Pinch me, pull me..." The Money Man will never be known as the "Great Enunciator"...
THESE ARE OUR SELLOUTS
In the spirit of fair play, I won't just pick on John Mellencamp on my blog for going over to the Dark Side by selling his songs to corporate monsters for personal gain. While watching the "Monday Night Football" games tonight, I've heard the music of no less than three different "prog Rock" bands—Genesis, Electric Light Orchestra and Emerson Lake & Palmer—on TV commercials for various and sundry products. Best grab that paycheck while you can, eh, fellas?