A few sports quickies

HAVE A CHOKE AND A SMILE!
Congrats to the Philthadelphia Phillies for overtaking the New York Mets on the season's final day to win the National League East division, after the Metropolitans blew a 7-game lead with 17 games to go.  Gotta give it up to the Phightin' Phils for keeping their collective eyes on the prize, even after getting off to a miserable start this season, then getting within a couple games of the Mets after sweeping them in a four-game series near the end of August, but slipping back almost immediately afterwards.  Even though the Mets are a New York team, I don't hate them nearly as much as the Yankees, but this shit is still pretty funny...

SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST
Similar kudos to the Colorado Rockies for charging back from out of nowhere, winning even more games the last couple weeks than there are letters in Tulowitski (13 of their last 14, actually), to force a one-game playoff against the San Diego Padres tonight at Coors Field in Denver.  Between the Rockies' recent success and the Colorado Buffaloes' shocking upset of Oklahoma on Saturday, the mighty Denver Broncos have been relegated to third-string on the Rocky Mountain sports depth chart, which is no mean feat.  The Rockies are managed by former K.C. Royal Clint Hurdle, who was a big rookie pheenom in the late '70s—the "next George Brett", if you will—but he was done in by the dreaded "SI curse" when he appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and his playing career fizzled rather quickly. They should put more Yankees on the cover of SI, come to think of it...

THERE'S STILL NO "I" IN THIS TEAM—YET...
That would be the Kansas City Chefs, as I still refer to them, but another performance or two like they put on yesterday in San Diego, and I might just start calling them the "Chiefs" again.  It took them a while to kick it into gear, but da Chefs owned the Chargers in the second half and won 30-16, and were sparked by rookie Dwayne Bowe's 164-yard receiving yards.  With Denver and Oakland also at 2-2, things may not be so desolate for this team after all...

OVERKILL 101
While watching ESPN's pregame show tonight, I couldn't help but wonder why on earth it requires no less than three different teams of announcers to cover "Monday Night Football".  First, we have Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, Bill Parcells, et al, in the studio, then there's the ever-irritating Stuart "I Must Constantly Remind You I'm A Brotha" Scott, Steve Young, etc., at the stadium, and finally, Mike "Sexual Harrasser" Tirico, Ron Jaworski and Tony Cornholio—er uh—Kornheiser in the booth during the game itself, along with not one, but two, sideline reporters—Michelle Tafoya and Mountain Dew adrenaline junkie Suzi Kolber.  Back in the good ol' days, all they needed was Frank, Howie and Dandy Don for MNF instead of this ridiculous flotilla of personalities assigned to cover one freakin' game!  ESPN doesn't seem to realize that bigger isn't necessarily better.