A LITTLE SLOW ON THE UPTAKE, AIN'T WE?
It cracks me up how local letter-writers to the K.C. Star are finally calling the Rev. Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church a "hate group". Funny how they were still considered to be a "church" when they merely picketed the funerals of gay people who died of AIDS, but now that they picket the funerals of dead U.S. military personnel (as per their warped rationale that said U.S. soldiers died defending a country that has the nerve to tolerate homosexuality), they're officially a "hate group". Got a news flash for y'all—these losers were always a fucking hate group!!!
One can only hope that the recent multi-million $$ damages court ruling against this fuckwad and his merry band of nutbags will put them all in the poor house for good. I say fuck free speech in this case, folks...
Barry Bonds is going down like the Titanic. Is that perfectly "clear"?
MUZAK TO MY EARS
During that pre-game warm-up session at the Colorado Avalanche game I attended where they played Sweet's "Fox On The Run" (see previous post), the arena organist kicked in after the players left the ice and started playing a tune that I couldn't quite place right away. After about two minutes, I finally recognized that it was .38 Special's "Caught Up In You"—not exactly a song you would expect to hear on the ol' Wurlitzer! It would've fit right in on Randy Raley's "Elevator From Hell" segment, too. All the same, organs are still standard equipment at any hockey game...
Speaking of elevator music, one of my former employers had one of the funniest Muzak systems on earth. Folks, you haven't lived until you've heard Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds' classic "Don't Pull Your Love" playing overhead—on the accordion!! Even Weird Al would have hit his knees and uttered "I'm not worthy!" after hearing this polka. This same Muzak system sure played a lot of Kiss songs too—I distinctly remember hearing no less than four Kiss tunes ("Beth", "Every Time I Look At You", "Sure Know Something" and "Forever"), which doubles the number of Kiss tunes our esteemed local Rock stations generally play ("Beth"/"Rock And Roll All Nite") on a regular basis.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING...
Man, did they time this first Missouri-Kansas football game at Arrowhead Stadium next weekend perfectly or what? With both MU and KU winning today, the table is now set for a classic college foosball game at the 'Head with everything on the line for both schools, instead of some meaningless season finale, which they're both known for playing. Let's get ready to rumble!
MARSHALL! MARSHALL! MARSHALL!
Speaking of college football, I watched a good flick on DVD last night, We Are Marshall, the true story of the aftermath of the tragic 1970 plane crash that virtually wiped out the Marshall University football team, its coaching staff and numerous supporters. Like most football flicks, it was a tad predictable at times, but I liked it overall, and I think they told the story quite well. I was especially pleased with the music soundtrack, which did a nice job of spotlighting the songs that were popular during that 1970-71 period, which is the "Golden Age" of Top 40 radio for me. And of course, the Thundering Herd (or "Thundering Turd" as I affectionately call them) rose from the ashes and went on to field a very successful NCAA football program. I give the movie a B+.
Brian Holland's Top 3 Greatest Song Titles of All-Time:
For no particular reason...
1) "Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)—JOE TEX (1977)
2) "Tit Photographer Blues"—THE FABULOUS POODLES (1978)
3) "Lookin' Better Every Beer"—THE STRAY CATS (1983)
HONORABLE MENTIONS: "Get Out Of Here, And Take Your Mother With You"—FRED G. SANFORD (1977); "Personals Ad Blues"—BRIAN HOLLAND (1994) [NOTE: I never got around to actually writing the bloody song!]
Feel free to submit yer own suggestions...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #58
"Sweet Home Alabama"—LYNYRD SKYNYRD (1974) "Yeah, Yeah—Montgomery's got all the answers..." Near the end of the song, Ronnie Van Zant utters this line, which I never understood until I looked it up on the 'Net. I always thought he said something unintelligible, followed by "Goddamn!"
CLASSIC MISHEARD MOVIE LINE #1
Ricardo Montalban, Star Trek II-The Wrath of Khan (1982) In the scene where Khan first encounters Chekov, I coulda swore he called him "Jackoff"!
GET IN TUNE, PLEASE!
'Tis the season for the Salavatin' Army to dispatch their dreaded bell ringers in front of every other store again. Couldn't they at least provide these poor schlubs with bells that actually ring instead of clanking like a busted chainsaw?!? Pretty damn sad...