THIS JUST KILLS ME
The New York Post evidently used the following headline regarding the passing of Ike Turner: "Ike 'Beats' Tina to Death". Yes, I know, that's not very funny, yet it's fucking hilarious at the same time!
US VS. THEM?
Get a load of this malarkey:
The Colorado shooter has been identified, and his name is Matthew Murray. He apparently follows the liberal thought pattern on Christianity, as he allegedly was behind a series of blog posts decrying the "nightmare" and "abuses" of Christianity. It's almost impossible to distinguish between Murray's ranting and those of wacky Christian-hating liberals like Rosie O'Donnell. To the Matthew Murrays, it is Christianity that is dangerous. It is Christianity that is intolerant and hate-filled.
This little blurb was written by one Cassy Fiano, http://wizbangblog.com/.
Let me get this straight—Cassy's putting a mentally-disturbed gunman in the same league with a misguided (yet relatively harmless) big mouth publicity hound like Rosie O'Donnell? That's one helluva leap, Cassy! Where the fuck do these twits get this convoluted logic? Rush Limbaugh pulled the same bullshit right after the Virginia Tech massacre: "If this Virginia Tech shooter had an ideology, what do you think it was? This guy had to be a liberal." In both cases, we're talking about disenfranchised individuals who were fucked-up in the head! Since when does political ideology or religious affiliation factor into this equation?
So are Cassy and Rush trying to tell us that Christians and/or conservatives never commit murder? I beg to differ—I've heard it said by more than one person that the world's worst murderers are those who "saw the Light"...
I, FOR ONE, AM UNDERWHELMED...
...by yesterday's big hoop-de-doo on the whole baseball steroids thing. It didn't tell us a damn thing that we didn't already know anyway. However, a couple things did occur to me, the main one being how so many of the 80-some-odd players named in the Mitchell Report were so staggeringly mediocre! Apart from Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield and Roger Clemens (the latter of whom I've suspected of doing steroids for years), we have such "superstars" on the list as Marvin Benard, Larry Bigbie and Randy Velarde! Cody McKay? I couldn't even tell you what team he played for. Former K.C. Royal Hal Morris also made the list—this guy hit like one whole home run as a member of the Royals—fat load of good those steroids did him, huh? The other thing that struck me after the report came out is there has been no outcry for Commissioner Howdy Doody's (Bud Selig) resignation, seeing's how he's the one who presided over this whole steroid era and turned a blind eye to everything.
Oh, and then there's our fearless leader Dubya, who remarked today, "We can jump to this conclusion: that steroids have sullied the game." Well, he should know—he's the all-time greatest conclusion-jumper in recorded history! Funny how you never spoke out about having all them steroid users like Jose Canseco on your roster when you owned the Texas Rangers, huh, Dubya? Damn jackass...
THEY SAW THE FUTURE!
I'm currently viewing an episode from the Season 2 "Saturday Night Live" DVD set, one episode of which contains a parody commercial about a triple-blade shaving razor that seemed ludicrous during that Bicentennial year. Doesn't seem so ludicrous with my Gillette Mach3 now hanging in my bathroom. Another irony included in that same episode: Paul Shaffer with hair!
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #65
"God"—JOHN LENNON (1970) "I don't believe in Zimmerman..." When I first heard this song in its entirety, it wasn't long after Lennon's demise in 1980, and I had yet to make the Dylan-Zimmerman connection, therefore I thought JL was singing "I don't believe in cinnamon..." By extension, I also mistook "Buddha" for "butter", the way John sang it. Please forgive me—I was a child of the '70s, not the '60s...
SEPARATED AT BIRTH?
This is current Kansas City mayor Mark Funkhouser. Lose the goatee and you get this dude...