GONNA HAVE TO FACE IT, I'M ADDICTED TO PUNS
Behold an outfit that calls themselves the "Dead Robert Palmer Chicks". All I gotta say about this pic is it's a sure sign of the Apoca-lips!
SOBRIETY—WHAT A CONCEPT!
In what is a minor miracle for yours truly, tonight is the tenth night in a row during which I have consumed no alcohol. I fully admit to being a bit of a knucklehead over the past few years by overindulging in drinks of a liquorous nature (beer being my major vice), but since the first of the year, I've found myself abstaining more often than imbibing for a change. I have no intention of going on the wagon altogether, but beer's been tasting more and more like piss to me lately and the hangovers are getting harder to recover from, so I'm giving my body a much-needed break from it all. I'm also trying to drop some major weight, and laying off the suds has already paid dividends—I've lost a dozen or so pounds since Christmas and probably saved myself easily 40 bucks during that time that I would normally have spent on beer. Even more impressive to me is that I've had five Mich. Ultras sitting in my coolerator over the past ten days to tempt me, and I haven't even looked at them. Just like Hawkeye on "M*A*S*H", I'll go back to beer when I want some, not when I need some.
MAYBE LIKE ELI MANNING'S TEAM, MAYBE
Looks like we might have a fairly entertaining Super Bowl this year, as New England gets the N.Y. Giants for the second time in a little over a month. Lots of intrigue with the Patriots shooting for perfection and the Giants being the hottest team in football—I think the 14-point spread for this one is way too high. Former Chiefs kicker Lawrence Tynes, whose mediocrity was on display on his prior two field goal attempts, somehow managed to connect on a 47-yarder to win the game in OT for the Giants at Green Bay. A guy who wasn't even good enough for the Chefs gets to kick in the Super Bowl—now, ain't that a kick in the head?
That's what I now have for Chargers QB Philip Rivers, after it was revealed that he underwent surgery on his ailing knee early last week just so he could play Sunday against New England. Gotta give it up to someone who plays hurt, or at least tries to gut it out, like RB LaDainian Tomlinson did as well Sunday, but his knee was hurt worse that Rivers', so he was removed from the lineup early in the game. That wasn't good enough for "Neon" Deion Sanders on the NFL Network, who criticized LT for not sucking it up and playing longer into the game. Leave it to Mr. "Turf-Toe" himself to question someone else's toughness—this pussy couldn't even tackle the anorexic Olsen twin! Deion is also the guy who once refused to pay a $400 car repair shop bill because he claimed that the Lord advised him not to, so consider the source...
(*SIGH*) OSCAR, OSCAR, OSCAR...
Were y'all as underwhelmed by the Oscar nominations today as I was? As usual, it's all high-brow stuff (most of which just came out last month) and a bunch of movies no one's ever actually seen. And of course, Johnny Depp got nominated again—he's the male equivalent of Meryl Streep, and they'd probably nominate him even if he played the role of a speed bump. I may not even waste my time watching the ceremony this year, even if there is one.
HEATH LEDGER, 1979-2008
Sad news in the movie biz as actor Heath Ledger was found dead today of a possible drug overdose. He was also suffering from pnuemonia at the time of his death. He was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar in '05 for the role of one of the gay cowboys in Brokeback Mountain. That's a film I normally wouldn't have watched, but since all the right-wing conservative Bible thumpers said I shouldn't, well I naturally had to check it out, and I actually liked it. I thought it had a good storyline, was well-acted, and it was something different for a change. Hell, it didn't make me squirm in my seat half as much as Borat did—the naked male wrestling in it made Brokeback seem like a Disney flick by comparison! And all the Bible thumpers can relax because watching this film didn't make me "turn gay"—I still like girls.
GIVE 'EM HELL, RINGO!
Was amused to hear that Ringo Starr bailed on a scheduled performance on TV's "Regis and Kelly" show today because they expected him to do his new four-minute song in 2:30. Ringo told the show's producers to go get stuffed when they refused to allot him and his band any more time to play the song. After all, it's such an endeavor to work in all of Reeg's witty retorts and retread one-liners on that show, so ex-Beatles just have to take whatever they can get, huh?
SAME AS IT EVER WAS...
Major League Baseball has gone to hell in a hand basket under Commissioner Bud Selig's watch, so what do they do? Give him a three-year contract extension! Now that's progress...
IS THIS WHAT THEY MEAN...
...by the term "product placement"?