Another fucking countdown...

In an effort to improve even further on this blog's recent off-the-charts rating on the mighty Cuss-O-Meter of 28.7 (the average is 8.0), here are my Top 20 Favorite Songs of All-Time With Cuss Words In Them:

Honorable mentions:
"I Just Wanna"—KISS (1992)  Although it's implied that Paul Stanley sings "I just wanna fuck" here, the official lyric is "I just wanna FUH-get you".  Surely, this was a mere oversight on Paul's part...
"If You See Kay"—APRIL WINE (1983)  Cute title, guys, real cute...
"Play Guitar"—JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP (1989)  "Forget all that macho shit and learn how to play guitar."  Methinks the great axe master Mellencamp oughtta take his own advice here...

20) "I"—KISS (1981)  My favorite song off that bad acid trip known as Music From The Elder, it contained the line "...and the balls to stand alone!" which was altered to "...and the guts to stand alone" for TV appearances on "Solid Gold" and "Fridays".
19) "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)"—W.A.S.P. (1983)  This song caused quite the controversy, to the point where Tipper Gore peed her panties over it and tried (in vain) to get it banned.  Truth to tell, in spite of its title, the song isn't really all that outrageous...
18) "Locomotive Breath"—JETHRO TULL (1971)  In the shuffling madness, the lyric went, "...the all-time winner has got him by the balls...", but Warner Bros. Records panicked and re-issued it on the single as "the all-time winner has got him by the fun".  Huh?
17) "Your Sister Can't Twist (But She Can Rock 'N' Roll)"—ELTON JOHN (1973)  Sir Elton's first recorded profanity:  "I heard of this place at the back of town, where you can really kick the shit when the sun goes down..."
16) "Star Star"—THE ROLLING STONES (1973)  Closing track off the Goat's Head Soup album, this one is better known as "Star Fucker"...
15) "Working Class Hero"—JOHN LENNON (1970)  JL dropped a couple F-bombs in this nasty little diatribe:  "Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules..." and "But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see..."
14) "She Loves My Cock"—JACKYL (1992)  I'll take your word for it on that, dude...
13) "Mean Man"—W.A.S.P. (1989)  Actually, that would be "Mean motherfuckin' man..." according to the lyrics...
12) "Tough Guys"—R.E.O. SPEEDWAGON (1980)  "They think they're full of fire--she thinks they're full of shit..."  Great line.
11) "Sinner's Swing!"—VAN HALEN (1981)  "She looks so fucking good, so sexy and so frail..." as Diamond Dave sings.  One of my all-time favorite VH songs...
10) "Money"—PINK FLOYD (1973)  "Don't give me that goody-goody-good bullshit!"  Pink Floyd got away with murder for years on the radio with this line until the whole Janet Jackson boob flap/flapping boob thing that caused paranoia amongst broadcasters fearing huge fines from the FCC for the mere utterance of the word "poop", let alone "shit".
9) "The Devil Went Down To Georgia"—CHARLIE DANIELS BAND (1979)  "I done told you once, you son-of-a-bitch, I'm the best there's ever been..."  Evidently, even Southern Baptist Super-Christians can't even bring themselves to call the devil a son-of-a-bitch, as Charlie D. recorded the tamer "I done told you once, you son-of-a-gun..." version to spare their virgin ears.
8) "The Bitch Is Back"—ELTON JOHN (1974)  For my little ten-year-old ass, this song was a Godsend when it came out, as I was heavily into learning cuss words of any kind at the time.  Great song anyway, cuss word or not...
7) "Piss On The Wall"—J. GEILS BAND (1981)  The closing (and best) track off the classic Geils Freeze-Frame album, singer Peter Wolf pleads for calm as he sings, "Seems like everybody's shakin' 'cus the big one's 'bout to fall, but I'm tryin' to hold it steady while I piss on the wall!"
6) "Rehumanize Yourself"—THE POLICE (1981)  Sting sings "He's got his hand in the air with the other cunts, you got to humanize yourself..."  Only song I know of that contains the word "cunt".
5) "Had It With You"—THE ROLLING STONES (1986)  Jagger wasted no time getting foul here, as the opening line of the song goes, "Well, I love you, dirty fucker..."  Very underrated song, BTW...
4) "The Rodeo Song"—THE PATRIOT BAND (1981)  This Dr. Demento classic may hold the record for the most cuss words in one song!  A little sampling of the lyrics:  "Well, it's 40-below, but I don't give a fuck, got heater in my truck, and I'm off to the rodeo..." and "Piss me off!  Fucking jerk!  Get on my nerves..."  Trust me, it's a funny song...
3) "Mr. Brownstone"—GUNS 'N' ROSES (1987)  I know for a fact that this song accidentally got played on the air at least once on my former radio station, K-Joe 105-FM in St. Joseph, MO by my good friend Easy Earl Harris.  Earl—a black man—was totally unfamiliar with the music of G'n'R, but was happy to oblige a listener who called in to request the song one night, not knowing it contained the lyric, "But that old man, he's a real motherfucker—gonna kick him on down the line..."  After that, I made sure to put a note on the Appetite For Destruction CD, "Do NOT play Track 5!"  Ditto went for Track 7, "You're (fuckin') Crazy"...
2) "Who Are You"—THE WHO (1978)  The 'orrible 'Oo also fell victim to the Janet Jackson thang, so now you get the neutered version of "Who Are You" on the radio, where "Who the fuck are you?" has been eradicated altogether.  Still, it's much better than the "clean" original 1978 single version for which Roger Daltrey had to return to the studio to sing five whole words: "Who the hell are you?"
1) "Stairway To Cleveland"—JEFFERSON STARSHIP (1981)  One of my all-time favorite songs, irregardless of its vulgarity, I just love its hilarious rapid-fire mob vocals from practically the entire group.  This one never got played on the radio thanks to that classic little refrain "Fuck you--We do what we want!"

Come to think of it, that's the basic tenet of this here blog...