"Nothing matters but the weekend..."

…from a Tuesday point of view.”—The Kings, “This Beat Goes On/Switchin’ To Glide”

Great lyric from another somewhat-forgotten classic song.

WHOLE LOTTA SHAKIN’ GOIN’ ON
Southern California had a pretty strong 5.4-magnitude earthquake between L.A. and San Diego today.  No major damage or injuries, evidently, so all is well, in spite of a few aftershocks.  I have to admit that I’m secretly hoping there will be an earthquake while I visit California during my upcoming trip in a couple weeks.  Not a big one that causes damage, mind you, but one kinda like today, just so I can say I’ve experienced one.  By the way, where did they get the term “temblor” to use instead of earthquake?  Sounds so wimpy!  To me, a temblor sounds like something you drink out of…

WOULD YOU LIKE A LITTLE CHEESE WITH YOUR WHINE?
According to ESPN today, K.C. Royals outfielder Jose Guillen—whom they shelled out eleventy-million bucks this past off-season—says he already wants to be traded.  You know what I say?  I say they should trade his whiny bitch ass, then!  He’s done nothing but piss and moan since he arrived here, he’s alienated the fans, his manager, the bat boys, et al, and yet he still has this legion of apologists whom claim he’s merely been misunderstood and that he’s really a nice guy.  Uhhh, this guy has a history of this kind of behavior, and the team knew that long before they ever signed him.  Guillen claims this season has been “a living hell” because certain player moves promised by the Royals haven’t been made to make them a contender, and that’s why he wants to leave.  Hey Jose, if you were hitting .340 and the rest of the team sucked, then you might have a leg to stand on, but your batting average is a very average .260, so as Eddie Murphy once said (as Richard Pryor responding to Bill Cosby), “Have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!”

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
It was announced last week that our local doggie and horsey tracks, The Woodlands over in K.C.K., are closing soon.  No big shock, as the place has been struggling for over a decade now.  When it first opened, it was a fun time to go out there with a group of friends, hang out and try to win a few bucks on the dogs, but after a few years the novelty wore off, the riverboats casinos took over and The Woodlands didn’t stand a chance.  Sad, but inevitable.

SPEAKING OF THE INEVITABLE…
The Summer Olympics from Beijing will soon be upon us.  I love the Winter Olympics, but for some reason I have great difficulty getting fired-up for the Summer Games.  The summer events just don’t quite honk my hooter like bobsledding, speed skating, hockey, luge and ski jumping do.  Track and field, swimming and gymnastics don’t excite me nearly as much, and basketball in the summer just doesn’t work for me.  Oh well, I’ll be on vacation during most of the Beijing games anyway.

A THREE-HOUR TOUR (A THREE-HOUR TOUR)
Roll up—for the Tragical History Tour!  I’ve booked passage on a rather interesting excursion while in L.A. called Dearly Departed that I found via the slightly morbid but ever-fascinating Find A Death website.  The guy that runs the site and tour has been on E! Entertainment, VH-1, and numerous other TV outlets, and is quite the expert on celebrity demises.  The tour comes highly recommended, and includes stops by where the Tate-LaBianca murders happened, as well as the Menendez murders, et al, numerous stars’ homes, the “Happy Days” house (and you thought it was really in Milwaukee) and even the toilet where George Michael got busted for wanking!  It’s a tad pricey at $35, but I was planning to check out some of these locations on my own anyway, and this will save me the time and trouble of looking for them.

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #91
“The Best Of My Love”—THE EAGLES (1975)  “Wastin’ our time on cheap talk and wine…”  I was only nine when I first heard this, and thought Don Henley was singing something about some “Cheap talkin’ whine…”

DEEP THOUGHT
Has anyone come up with another word for 'thesaurus' yet?