Hunt for Red Blogtober

SWINGIN’ IN THE RAIN, JUST SWINGIN’ IN THE RAIN…
Much jaw-jacking has ensued since Monday night’s suspension of Game 5 of the World Series in Philadelphia amongst the talking heads on ESPN and local sports talk yakkers about whether the game should’ve even been started in the first place.  Some have supported Commish Bud Selig’s decision to try to get the game in, while others are calling for his head for the umpteenth time.  I tend to side with Selig on this one.  If nothing else, I say just be glad he isn’t threatening to move this game to Milwaukee’s Miller Park, too!  Meanwhile, the debate rages on about the wisdom of playing beisbol this late into October, to which local sports radio hack Soren Petro says there should be a rule requiring all Major League teams to build retractable-roof stadiums in order to avoid situations like this.  Riiiight.

Once again, please allow yours truly to be the voice of reason and offer a more sensible solution:  if MLB insists on playing three sets of postseason series, then either schedule doubleheaders during the regular season or start the friggin’ playoffs a week earlier!  Another thing—eliminate these pointless off-days during the postseason, except for when teams must travel cross-country.  Teams usually play three straight weeks (or more) without a day off during the regular season—why should that change in the playoffs?

Granted, rainouts can occur any time of year, but they could somewhat increase the chances of avoiding having to play baseball on frozen tundra in 20-degree wind chills (like tonight’s conditions in Philly) by finishing the World Series no later than, say, October 24th.  This could easily be accomplished by simply starting the regular season a week earlier during the last week of March.  Do we really need a whole month’s worth of Spring Training games anyway?  After about two weeks of exhibition games, the players are bored out of their skulls and ready to play for keeps.

Yes, I know it’ll be just as cold in late March as it is now in Philly and the other Northern cities, so to counteract that, I suggest opening every season in the warm-weather sites (So. California, Texas, Arizona, Florida) and stadiums with roofs (Toronto, Seattle, Milwaukee) for the first week-to-ten days.  It wouldn’t be that much of a disadvantage for teams like Detroit, Cleveland, Boston, the two New Yorks, the two Chicagos, et al, to open on the road every year—it all evens out with 81 home games and 81 road games in the long run.  Meantime, the old-school purist in me (and most assuredly Ernie Banks) would like to see the revival of the almighty doubleheader.  There was a time when it was tradition for all teams to schedule twin-bills on Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day, but we’ll never see that again.  In any event, there’s no reason why the baseball postseason should drag on like a Presidential election campaign.

DON’T EAT AT JOE’S
Can we please put a stop to all the Joe-the-This and Joe-the-That crap already?  Just another lame cliché the politicians and media grab onto and run with.  Freakin’ asinine…

LIMBO LITTLE LOWER NOW!
Man, I never thought I’d see this again—gas for under $2.00 a gallon!  I passed a place on the way home tonight selling gas for $1.93.  Let’s keep it that way for a while, shall we?

Now for the big question—since gas is now like half of what it cost us just three months ago, how come the price of meat and dairy products hasn’t decreased accordingly?  I thought the reason for the spike in meat and dairy prices was because it cost so much more to transport the cows and pigs and such, so why are t-bone steaks still $9.00 a pound?  Oh right, I forgot—gots ta keep dat profit margin up, right fellas?

HONOR THY FATHER?
Boy, what a loving Dad good ol’ Isiah Thomas must be, judging by the way he threw his own daughter under the bus by claiming she was the one who OD’ed on sleeping pills at his house last week, when indeed it was actually him passed out on the floor getting worked over by Morpheus.  I think this all goes a long way in explaining why he was such an inept coach and general manager with the New York Knicks (not to mention that sexual-harassment trial debacle).  Thomas was a great player, no doubt about it, but beyond that, he seems to be a real horse’s ass.

THEY DON’T KNOW ME VERY WELL, DO THEY?
I love Netflix to death because they carry all the old-school TV shows on DVD that I love to watch, but their computer-generated movie recommendations leave a bit to be desired.  Because of my interest in ‘70s fare like "Sanford & Son", "Happy Days" and "Cannon", Netflix thinks I will also enjoy the likes of "I, Claudius", "Eleanor & Franklin" and "Upstairs, Downstairs".  This is precisely what happens when we let computers do our thinking for us.  Uhhh, I think I’ll pass…

BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!
Speaking of Netflix videos that I enjoyed, last weekend I rented an old HBO concert featuring Pat Benatar from the 1983 Get Nervous tour, in which she "looked good enough to take to Chinatown", to use Fred Sanford’s yardstick.  Pat still looks pretty good today, but I’d almost forgotten how truly sexy she was back then, as she helped this growing boy get through puberty!

Two things I noticed during this video:  1) Pat's guitarist/husband Neil Giraldo bore an eerie resemblance to actor Patrick Swayze during that time, and 2) to her credit, Benatar didn’t resort to disappearing backstage after every fourth song to change into another outfit, which is SOP for the likes of Madonna, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson and even Stevie Nicks.  Thankfully, Pat saw no need to turn her concerts into runway fashion shows, thus she merely relied on her own natural talent as a singer to put on a great show.  Besides, that little cocktail dress, evening gloves, black hose and high heels looked just dandy on her—if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Based on my interest in this video, I’m sure Netflix will probably recommend "Mantovanni In Concert", or worse, maybe the fictional "Helen Reddy—the Las Vegas Years" mentioned on a Cheech & Chong record way back when…

RADIO, SOMEONE STILL LOVES YOU…
Listening to over-the-air radio is becoming more and more excruciating as time wears on.  Every station on FM (regardless of musical format) sounds the same anymore, and you’re lucky to even hear live DJs in this day and age.  The Rock stations around here might as well all be automated, especially after the latest round of firings of popular on-air personalities at the Scumulus (er uh, Cumulus) conglomerate.  The once-promising new Boulevard station has been rendered almost unlistenable by the constant hawking of their "No Repeat Workday", which they make sure to remind us about every ten minutes.  I’d just as soon they repeat a song or two every day just to avoid the constant harangue.

A quick scan across the AM dial during my lunch break today was just as depressing.  All we get around here on AM are syndicated hacks like Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura on the ultra-conservative news/talk stations, Dickey Dick-Brain Jim Rome over on the sports station, a couple of Jesus stations telling us we’re all going to hell next week (but please send us some money first) and three Spanish stations that have seemingly materialized out of nowhere in the last couple months.  About the only thing worth listening to at lunchtime was financial guru Dave Ramsey, and even he got rather tedious after only a few minutes.  I’m unable to listen to AM throughout the day at work because our MR magnet kills any AM signal, but it would appear I ain’t missing much.  Pretty damn sad…

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS…
As AC/DC sings, "Let’s get it up!"  Special thanks to Greg (aka "Fork") for sending me this one!