My alma mater, Raytown South High School, lost a heart-wrenching—albeit very exciting—football game last night in the Missouri Class 5 state championship game at the Ram Dome in St. Louis to local favorites Hazelwood East, 39-34. South fell behind 19-7 at one point, but momentum swung in their favor in the second half, and RS scored a go-ahead TD with just over 30 seconds left. Hazelwood took the ball back down to RS territory and it came down to the very last play of the game with :03 left when their QB heaved up a Hail Mary 29-yard TD pass. D'OH!! Ironically, Hazelwood East is coached by former St. Louis Ram Mike Jones—the same Mike Jones who prevented Tennessee Titan Kevin Dyson from reaching the goal line in Super Bowl 34 on the last play of the game. Therefore, I have no doubt that Dr. Sardonicus would agree with me that this Mike Jones goomer MUST DIE! Just kidding...
Seriously, apart from a couple missed extra points by Hazelwood, it was a very well-played game by both sides, and far more entertaining than many of the NFL games I've watched on TV this season. A disturbing thought occurred to me as I watched, though: Everyone on that field was born in or after 1990, and that makes me feel really old! Anyway, congrats to our mighty Cardinals on a very successful season—you represented Raytown well, gentlemen...
It was déjà vu all over again this afternoon as my Missouri Tigers had a victory stolen away from them at the very end of the game at the hands of Kansas, 40-37, at Arrowhead Stadium in Part Deux of the neutral site Border War. As sloppy as KU has played in their last couple games, I figured they'd be easy pickin's for Mizzou, but as clichéd as it sounds, I guess it's true what they always say about "throw out the records" when these two play. Oh well, MU gets to hang out at Arrowhead until next Saturday when they play either Texas, Texas Tech or Oklahoma in the Big 12 title game.
I saw a blurb in the paper the other day about former NHL player Armand "Bep" Guidolin, who died earlier this week of a stroke at age 82. The Bep-ster made NHL history by being the youngest player to ever skate in the league at age 16. He also made NHL infamy (sort of) as the first head coach of the fledgling expansion Kansas City Scouts from 1974-76, who were really really bad. Ironically, Bep resigned as Scouts head coach right after a game yours truly attended where the Scouts got stomped by the Philadelphia Flyers 7-1 at Kemper Arena. It turned out to be the last Scouts game I ever attended, and it would be ten years before I saw another NHL game live in St. Louis in 1986. Rest in peace, Bep...
Oh, by the way, the flunkies at the Star didn't even bother to mention anything about Bep coaching the Scouts in that little blurb. Oh, that's right—the powers-that-be at the paper panicked and fired everyone on the Sports Dept. staff over the age of 25, so they probably didn't remember...
WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT?
I was quite disgusted to read today about the poor Wal-Mart employee on Long Island who was literally trampled to death yesterday by an unruly mob of Christmas shoppers who broke down the doors to the store as it opened on (literally, in this case) "Black Friday". In addition, four other people, including a woman eight-month's pregnant, wound up in the hospital as a result of the stampede. I also saw a headline that read "Two men die in shootout at Toys R Us" today. Will someone please explain to me what it is about bargain-hunting that turns some normal sane people into Barbarians this time of year? Get a grip, America!
ANOTHER REASON TO HATE THE SEASON...
These new abysmal Best Buy TV ads featuring these supposed BB employees babbling away about why people shop at their stores this time of year. Duhhhh—it's an obligation to shop at their stores this time of year!
SPEAKING OF BAD TV ADS
I never thought I'd see the day when Ozzy Osbourne would become a corporate shill, but there he was on my TV all day today, hawking cell phones and video games. Keep in mind, kids, this is the same guy who once bit the head off a canary. Rock 'N' Roll Rebel, my ass...
LEMME LEMME UPBRAID YOU
Speaking of singers-turned-corporate shills, as I've watched college football throughout the day, I've been subjected to that annoying "Lemme lemme upgrade you" DirecTV ad featuring Beyoncé (that's about a year old now) at least a dozen times today! Beyoncé is a very talented singer and quite the hottie, but she looks like a total sell-out on these dopey commercials. Even Britney Spears hasn't stooped low enough to do TV ads yet. Or has she?
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #102
"Industrial Disease"—DIRE STRAITS (1983) "They got free speech, tourists, police in trucks..." Somehow, I thought Mark Knopfler was singing about something called "Police Central."
TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY
A letter writer to the K.C. Star in today's edition brilliantly suggested that if Citigroup gets this $25 billion bailout, they should be charged 28.99% interest just like they do to their innocent credit card holders who are late with one freakin' payment. I'm also on board with the New York Mets' new stadium being properly renamed Citi/Taxpayers Field. And, oh yeah, if Citi is in such dire need of financial help, then how is it they can still afford to run their commercials featuring Mary J. Bilge-water all day long during the college football games on ESPN, CBS, et al, huh?
DID I MISS A MEMO?
While scanning the cable dial last night, I stumbled across "That '70s Show" on ABC Family channel. Nothing wrong with that, but I found it rather disingenuous when a character on the show uttered "son-of-a-bitch" on Pat Robertson's little Jesus network, or is that language now deemed okey-dokey by the born-again pinhead crowd?
WELCOME TO THE GRAND RE-OPENING...
...of my bathroom! Yes, folks, my long national nightmare is over, as after 4.5 months, I finally completed work on remodeling my bathroom today, which took far longer than I expected, and ran way over budget too. I still have a bit of tweaking and fine-tuning to do on certain aspects of it, but overall, I'm pretty pleased with the results, as I've pretty much replaced everything except the medicine cabinet (and even that's getting replaced eventually). Now, as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman said in Full Metal Jacket, "even the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump!" Once again, special thanks to my good friend Phil Alvarez for all his help and guidance on this project—I am forever in your debt, my friend!
First, a couple "before" pics:
And a few "afters":
And effective immediately, I hereby announce my retirement from the bathroom-remodeling bidness! After this harrowing, stressful and expensive experience, I can honestly proclaim with a fair amount of certainty that I will never ever remodel a bathroom (mine or anyone else's) as long as I live!