Friday, February 6, 2009

And I command thee to kneel before the...

...Blog of Thunder! (And Rock 'N' Roll...)

Sorry for the lack of new material lately on this blog (hence the wealth of archival stuff lately), but I’ve been tied up with moving furniture out of my computer/stereo chamber for to remodel it.  My temporary PC command post now resides in my living room for the next month or so. I swear, I’ve had my computer in every room of my house at one time or another over the years except the bathroom and the laundry room...

REVOLUTION IN THEIR MINDS, THE CHILDREN START TO MARCH…
My day was made when I read about the kids at Shawnee Mission East High School over on the Kansas side who had the collective balls Thursday to organize en masse and execute a peaceful counter-protest to the Rev. Fred Phelps and his merry band of Neolithic dipshits who were nearby doing their tired old anti-Gay hate-monger shtick.  Even more impressive, the SME students’ parents and school administrators fully supported their counter demonstration, and all the while, the kids raised money for AIDS research “with a goal of raising $250 for every minute the Phelps group stood across the street.”  They apparently succeeded, too.

I’ve long been guilty over the years of labeling the affluent Shawnee Mission school district of being just a bunch of pampered Johnson County snobs, but methinks I should re-evaluate that attitude in light of this overwhelming gesture on their part.  Even if you loathe homosexuality with all your heart (which I don’t), I don’t see how any right-minded American can condone what this human colostomy bag (Phelps) and his sicko "church" promotes, so I salute and applaud these young people for their initiative and their guts.  Maybe there’s some hope for our future leaders, after all—nice going, kids!

YOU VETTER, YOU VETTER, YOU VET!
Just to show I’m not an Obama sycophant (as my good friend John no doubt believes), I’m going to rip on him a little for his poor choices for cabinet posts, namely Tom "Puff Daddy" Daschle and Timothy "Taxman" Geithner.  Just as John McCain did a poor job of vetting Sarah Palin, President O apparently didn’t do his homework on these two tax-evading palookas before nominating them.  What’s worse, Geithner is in charge of all our money now!

However, I do give Obama points for saying, “I screwed up” a mere two weeks into his administration, instead of waiting until two weeks before his term ends to do so like his predecessor did…

ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE?
I’d dearly love to have back the five minutes of my life I wasted today listening to the debate that ensued on ESPN’s “Mike & Mike In the Morning” wherein guest hosts Eric Ca-Silly-Ass (Kuselias) and Mark Schlereth worried and fretted over the fate of swimmer Michael Phelps (no relation whatsoever to the above-mentioned subhuman Phelpses) and his commercial endorsements in light of this photo which came out this week of him smoking a bong.  Who really gives a rat’s sacrum about this?  Is what Phelps did really so dad-blamed terrible?  Yes, I know, marijuana is illegal, but come on—you can get exceedingly more wasted on tequila or bourbon (which are perfectly legal in this country) than you can on pot.  I don’t partake of grass myself, but I don’t see why they don’t just legalize marijuana and tax the shit out of it like they do alcohol.

Then again, nobody forced Phelps to smoke that bong, let alone have his photo taken while doing it.  What he basically did here was shit in his own nest by smoking (dare I say it?) shit!  So, Mikey, if you lose your endorsements and all the moolah that goes with them, all I gotta say is [I can’t resist!], shit happens!

HALEY COMMENTS
As expected, the Kansas City Chefs hired Arizona offensive coordinator Todd Haley as the team’s new skipper, and I’m fairly pleased.  True, he’s unproven as a head coach, but I think he’s got the smarts and the fire down below to be kind of a cross between Mike Shanahan and Bill Cowher.  I don’t expect miracles overnight, but with the right free agent acquisitions and another well-executed draft, I can envision a nice one-season turnaround just like what happened with the Atlanta Falcons this year.  Oh, and send Larry Johnson on a one-way trip to anywhere, too—let him go someplace else where he can’t hold his liquor…

HIRE THE CABLE GUY?
While I’m on NFL coaches, the Oakland Raiders re-introduced interim coach Tom Cable as their head coach this week.  Evidently, no one else wanted the gig, so Cable got the job of dealing with senile owner Al Davis by default.  Bet he doesn’t even last through training camp…

NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
For a while now, I’ve been a tad baffled by some of the dismissal decisions made by the Kansas City Star during the economic crunch in terms of featured writers and columnists.  While I pleased to see a hack like gossip guru (or “wonk”, to use his terminology) Hearne Christopher, Jr. get the heave, I was particularly dismayed that they let go of longtime sportswriter Jeff Flanagan—a very good guy, indeed—but kept lifestyle columnist Jenee Osterheldt, whose frivolous commentaries (in what I like to call the “You Go, Girl!” column) are a vapid waste of perfectly good newsprint.  Her flighty columns amount to fluff like how a $200 pair of stilettos can perk up one’s spirits (like any sensible woman could afford them now, anyway), and I wondered how on earth she kept her gig when so many other more credible longtime staffers got axed.

Then I read this week where longtime Star political pundit Rhonda Chriss Lokeman was recently busted for DUI.  Lokeman, a liberal Black woman, had a regular commentary in the Sunday paper for many years (some of which I actually enjoyed), and just so happened to be married to the Star's Mark Zieman, which created a conflict of interest when he was appointed publisher last April, so Lokeman left the Star’s official employ and became a syndicated columnist instead, but her column still appeared in the paper every Sunday, giving the outward appearance that she was still a K.C. Star writer until her December 28th column when she “retired” from the syndicate, three whole days before her DUI arrest.  Now I see why the Star keeps “You Go, Girl!” Osterheldt on the payroll—she’s their only black female columnist remaining!

Meantime, Lokeman claims she only had one glass of wine (yeah, right) when she was pulled over and refused a breathalyzer test, but is suing the state to keep them from taking her driver’s license away.  Her lawyer/spin doctor tried to downplay it by saying “Ms. Lokeman retired from public life some time ago.” [one whole month?!?] “This is a private matter…”  You can bet if Limbaugh or Hannity got busted for DUI, she’d have been all over them like white on rice for it in her column, if she still had one.  Cry me a freakin’ river, Rhonda.  And of course, this reflects really well on Mr. Zieman (an über spin doctor in his own right) in his leadership position at the paper when his wife gets ripped and goes out for a drive.  In the words of Tim Conway's Mr. Tudball, "This is-a almost a-comical..."

CLASSIC MUSICAL TRIVIA TIDBIT #2
“Louie, Louie”—THE KINGSMEN (1963)  There’s a goof in this one right after the guitar solo where the singer comes in too early and sings "Say...", but they left it in anyway.  He pauses, then resumes the next verse shortly afterward.  Even in the video for it, he lip-syncs to the goof! [At the 1:51 mark]

CLASSIC OVERUSED TV/MOVIE CLICHÉ #7
Ever notice how on TV and movie disc jockeys rarely wear headphones while they’re talking on the air, even while music is playing?  Even “WKRP In Cincinnati” was often guilty of this faux pas.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, there is no way you can open a mic with music still playing over the studio speakers or you’ll have feedback ricocheting everywhere and give yourself and your listeners severe brain damage.  Well, not really brain damage, but you get the idea!

Another lame cliché is the fallacy of radio jocks having sexual relations in the studio (like in the film FM) while on the air.  I can say from personal experience that this is pure science fiction—it sure never happened to me, anyway!  Most (but not necessarily all) DJs are fairly unattractive individuals, hence why they’re on the radio where looks are immaterial, ergo, they are hardly babe magnets!  Then again, DJs do excel with knobs…

A WORKPLACE DILEMMA
Don’t you hate being asked to sign one of those group birthday cards for a co-worker you don’t particularly like?  This has happened a couple times recently at my job, and although I feel like a total ass, I’ve politely declined the request.  If I like the person, I’ll gladly scribble my name and say something cute to brighten their day with, but I think it’s pretty phony to endorse the birthday of someone I dislike or barely even know.  Even phonier, there’s this two-faced woman I work with who often originates these birthday cards for the staff to sign and even brings snack foods for people whom it’s well-known that she can’t stand!  How insincere can you be?

Birthdays are kind of a sore subject with me anyway, since the “what goes around comes around” concept doesn’t seem to apply to me.  I used to be really gung-ho about recognizing friends and co-workers on their birthdays with a card and/or at least a verbal greeting, but over time the favor was rarely returned and my birthday has de-evolved into a routine non-event on a par with mass Sprint layoffs and David Crosby drug busts, so I just kinda stopped going to the extra effort.  Guess that makes me an asshole…

GIVING YOU THE BUSINESS(ES)
Speaking of workplaces, I was thinking the other day about my employment history and the various places I’ve worked since I was 16.  Instead of the actual positions I held, I found it rather interesting to think about it in terms of the actual places I’ve been employed at.  Since 1980, I’ve worked either full- or part-time at the following eclectic mix: a car wash, a family restaurant, a record store, two radio stations, a bank, a newspaper, a loan service company, a hospital, and two medical imaging centers.  Talk about a mixed-bag—as Johnny Cash sang, “I’ve been everywhere, man…”

4 comments:

RR said...

uh, Brian, the "having sex in the studio thing"...well, er, um, ah, uh, hm...I've heard that it does indeed happen, not that I would know or anything, but I've heard that it does...yeah, right, I've heard it does, that works..whew!
It's in the book, coming soon to a bookstore near you. Kim, I remember you well.

RR said...

...and I resmemble the "unattractive" part...nyuk nyuk!

Brian Holland said...

Ah, dear boy, that's why I qualified my statement with "Most (but not necessarily all)..." I ain't exactly a babe magnet, that's for sure...

Anonymous said...

i actually had several...hem... encounters during my onair days. That is what the LONG piano intros are for. Or as I had done...prerecorded a few songs with bumpers and time marks ahead of time. worked like a charm!

Enjoying your memories.