Don't look at me--I didn't name them!

A little tribute to those poor unfortunate athletes of the past whose parents had a sense of humor (or didn't, depending on one's point of view).

I'll start you off with a few oddballs:

• Blenda Gay:  Former NFL defensive back, mostly with Washington and Philadelphia.  His first name was pronounced "Blen-DAY".  Don't ask me why...
• Boobie Clark:  Former Cincinnati Bengals running back.  Not sure if he was a "Bubble-headed" Boobie or not.
• Icky Woods:  Another former Cincinnati Bengals running back, who temporarily created a national sensation with his "Icky Shuffle" touchdown celebration dance a few years ago, and may well have been the inspiration for the Genesis song "I Can't Dance".
• Parris Duffus:  Well-traveled minor-league hockey goalie, whose last name we tended to rhyme with "Rufus"...
• Bombo Rivera:  Former Major League journeyman player, mostly with Montreal and Minnesota, but had a brief stint with our Royals in 1982.  No relation to Geraldo...
• Dit Clapper:  Hall of Fame Boston Bruins' hockey defenseman born Aubrey Victor Clapper.  I have no clue where the "Dit" came from...

Then we have a small concubine faction:

• Fair Hooker:  Former Cleveland Browns defensive back. Why anyone would name their child after a mediocre prostitute is beyond me!
• Levern Tart:  Journeyman basketball player who played in the old ABA.  His nickname was "Jelly", naturally.

And let's not forget the female anatomy division:

• Rusty Kuntz:  Former Major Leaguer/current K.C. Royals first base coach.  Yes, I know his last name is pronounced "COONCE", but somehow, us adolescents just can't resist making it rhyme with "runts'.
• I.M. Hipp:  Former Nebraska University star running back, who had a brief career in the NFL.  I never have heard what the "I.M." stood for, but he sho was Hipp, wasn't he?
• Marion Butts:  Former San Diego Chargers running back who often kicked butt.
• Homer Bush:   Journeyman Major Leaguer.  No relation to Dubya or Jed, but you'd think he might've been with a name like that.

And lastly, the male anatomy division:

• Dick Trickle:  Former NASCAR driver whom ESPN's Dan Patrick always took great pains to inform his audience where D.T. finished each week.
• Dick Lines:  Former Major League pitcher, mostly with the Red Sox in the '60s. No comment needed here.
• Dick Pole:  Former Major League pitcher with a career record of 25-37, with one save in the Major Leagues, but somehow, that qualifies him to now be a pitching coach—go figure!  Meantime, he bears the one name in sports which is GUARANTEED to elicit a chuckle from me each and every time I hear it uttered!
• Pete LaCock:  Former Major League 1st baseman, mostly with the Cubs and Royals, and son of one Pierre LaCock, Sr., better known to the world as original "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall.
• Peter Ing:  Professional hockey player, last seen with the Toronto Maple Leafs (Leaves?).  I prefer to pronounce his name all as one—"Petering"!