Saturday, October 31, 2009

I still remember it was autumn and the blog was shinin'...

...'cuz you look just like a Commie and you might just be a member, baby!

IT’S A BIRD! IT’S A PLANE! IT’S…OH, SHIT—WE’VE BEEN PUNKED!
I know this is a bit belated, but I can’t help but congratulate myself for seeing right through the whole "Balloon Boy" thing right from the start two weeks ago.  How hard up for attention do ya gotta be to throw your own six-year-old son under the bus to land a potential reality show and/or big payday?  Me, personally, I think these Heene idiots should have those kids taken away from them immediately, or if nothing else, the kids should be kept away from this douche-bag father of theirs.  Among other things, this goomer claims to believe the world will end in 2012 just like in that new movie coming out.  Well, if that’s the case, then why bring three kids into the world just so they can die young?  There are some strange rangers out there, that’s for sure…

JUST GIVE US DIRTY LAUNDRY…
Since they already play the "Breaking News" card far too often, CNN now has a new moniker to keep viewers on the edges of their seats:  "URGENT Breaking News"!  What’s next—"Double-Secret Breaking News"?  Whoever runs the on-screen graphics at CNN needs to lay off the caffeine, too.  I was watching Larry King interview Michael Moore the other night, and was subjected to this constant stream of factoids every ten seconds below Moore’s name like "Opposes more troops in Afghanistan", "Plans new documentary", "Thinks Bush was an idiot", etc.  Talk about information overload/overkill…

Oh, and I saw that noted transsexual (D)Ann Coulter making the rounds on the Faux Noise Channel squawk show circuit last week.  Must have another book coming out…

DON'T GO AWAY MAD, LARRY, JUST GO AWAY...
Chefs running back Larry Johnson’s latest FUBAR might hopefully be his last as a Chef.  They should’ve chucked his (in his own words) "faggot ass" a long time ago—he’s been worthless on the field this season and a locker room cancer off of it, and this latest dust-up involving his use of gay slurs and pissing/moaning about head coach "Big Head" Todd Haley is just another example of his incurable immaturity.  And no one—least of all yours truly—is buying Johnson’s predictable media apology, which had all the sincerity of Jerry Springer’s post-show commentaries.  And at age 30, LJ’s warranty has just about expired anyway.  Cut your losses and move on, Chefs…

DEATH WARMED OVER?
Am I the only one who finds it totally crass that DirecTV is using the late Chris Farley’s Tommy Boy bit in their current TV ads?  I’m already on record here as not being a big CF fan—I think he was overrated as all get-out—but this seems just a skosh disrespectful to his memory, especially considering how his "friend" David Spade also appears in these lame commercials.  Just keep those checks rollin’ in, huh Dave?  In a related deal, the remaining Billy Mays spots need to be 86’ed as well—something about a dead person hawking products just creeps me out, big-time.

AND WHILE I’M AT IT…
Another ad campaign that should’ve been deep-sixed long ago is the contrived Coors Light bits with football coaches Mike Ditka, Brian Billick, Romeo Crennel and Herm Edwards.  First off, the ads are so contrived and simple-minded, and secondly, none of these guys are even currently coaching in the NFL!  Then again, I have to say that Coors is, if nothing else, consistent—their TV ads are just as crappy as their beer is…

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!
I saw by the paper the other day that "comedian" Bob Saget is scheduled to appear at K.C.'s Midland Theater next month.  Tickets run from 30-50 bucks.  The Midland holds about 3,000 people, but given those monetary parameters, methinks BS and his appropriate initials will have great difficulty filling that venue.  Perhaps something a skosh smaller might work out better for him, like my living room!  On second thought, never mind—I don't want that no-talent hack in my house...

MY NEW FAVORITE SONG
I mentioned this in my last post about my Chicago trip, but it’s so rare that I get to praise recent (or fairly recent) music, so I wanted to laud the Fratellis again for their 2006 hit "Chelsea Dagger", which is also the Chicago Blackhawks goal celebration tune.  I first noticed this goofy little song being played last spring during the Stanley Cup playoffs, and thought it was a hoot how the entire crowd chanted in unison along with the "dut-duh-duh-dut" parts, and discovered firsthand last week that it’s even funnier in person.  Initially, I figured the song was something done exclusively for the ‘Hawks, but a Blackhawks fan I spoke with clued me in on the Fratellis, a Scottish trio who in best Ramones-style all claim Fratelli as their surnames, even though they aren’t at all related.  I borrowed their CD with "Chelsea" on it from my local library and now the song resides in my iPod, and there were a couple other tracks I liked as well.  Maybe there’s some hope for this generation’s music after all…

TEACHER NEEDS TO SEE ME AFTER SCHOOL...
A little useless trivia for you that I learned yesterday.  You know who the "Phys. Ed." teacher in the famed Van Halen "Hot For Teacher" video is?  That would be none other than Janet Jones, better known as Mrs. Wayne Gretzky.  Sit down, Waldo!












FEELING FACELESS ON FACEBOOKAfter about four months or so, I’m still not completely sold on the phenomenon known as Facebook.  Between regular e-mails, this blog and FB, I’m probably as well-connected with my good friends (both old and new) as I’ve ever been, yet I still feel very isolated and alone.  Facebook tends to encourage pithy little hit-and-run posts with precious little substance to them, and since the advent of Facebook, I’ve noticed a huge drop in personal e-mails to me from a couple of friends.  It’s almost as if keeping in touch with little dribs and drabs on FB is an excuse to avoid getting too in-depth and personal with your close friends in other venues.  The indifference I experience from longtime friends to the stuff I post on there bothers me too.  I don’t expect everyone to react or respond to every little thing I post, but they could at least give me the time of day now and then.

My feelings of isolation extend beyond the cyber-world too.  Virtually all of my close friends are married, which seriously precludes socializing, going out drinking, doing concerts or ballgames together and or just hanging out, thus leaving me basically with table scraps when it comes to hooking up with friends—i.e., I have to take whatever I can get these days.  It also finally occurred to me here lately that most of my longtime friends are more politically conservative than I ever realized, and being’s that I ain’t conservative, this is beginning to cause some friction in many cases.  It also doesn't help that I'm a non-church-going heretic in many of their eyes.  Not saying we have to agree on everything, but I can’t help but feel like an outsider in my own circle of friends nowadays.  Well kids, I yam what I yam, and I make no apologies for that...

1 comment:

Dr Jenn said...

add me to your facebook! I am good for dive bomb one liners that make ppl fart !

Jennifer Ganoe pic of me blowing a zerbert.

I don't get emails either but I don't send them either. I avoid forwarding emails and bitch ppl out that spam me... sooooo... lol... umr

good beat ... sounds familiar... almost pornographic video...no?