Thursday, April 5, 2012

Travelblog: 2012 Worldwide Texas Tour, Episode 3

"LOOK AT ME, I CAN BE CENTERFIELD..."
This would be the somewhat pointless centerfield slope at Astros Field in Houston (formerly known as Enron Field and currently known as Minute Maid Park, but I prefer to call it 'Astros Field').  The flagpole-in- play shtick is reminiscent of Tiger Stadium in Detroit, yet very few fair balls ever enter this area of the park, which I had the pleasure of touring last week.  Our tour guide was a spunky lady named Della, and she was was quite knowledgeable and passionate about the current Astros playground, which ironically I passed by on foot the very day it opened in 2000, but there were no tickets to be had that day.  The $9 tour took us up to the press box, and down to the Astros dugout, as well as the visitors bullpen in left center field (which is outfitted with actual Astrodome AstroTurf) and through the innerds of the hand-operated out-of-town scoreboard in left field.  I've never been INSIDE a scoreboard in my life before, so this was quite an honor.  This whole tour was a last-minute addition to my itinerary, and a very pleasant surprise, indeed.  Someday, I'll actually do a game there, especially since the Astros will be joining the American League next season...

HOUSTON, WE DO HAVE A PROBLEM...
Before doing my tour of Reliant Stadium, I couldn't help but notice how the "Eighth Wonder Of The World" next door ain't looking so wonder-ful anymore.  In fact, The Astrodome looks downright pathetic, with rust and fungus and who knows what growing on its exterior.  If this thing was an animal, it'd be euthanized by now.  The city of Houston honestly doesn't know what to the do with the place since the advent of the new stadium a decade ago--the preservationists want to save it, but no one's come up with a new practical (let alone feasible) use for the place.  In fact, a mere three days after my visit to "Reliant Park", a Houston TV station took an inside look at the decaying edifice and the results were semi-horrifying.  The Houston Chronicle also did a recent photo essay on-line that re-confirms the same sad state of affairs.  Come on, Houston, tear The Astrodome down already if you can't redevelop it--this is like looking at a sick relative dying...

THE MOST-RECENT ROUND-UP
Apparently the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is a pretty big deal, so much so that it ties up Reliant Stadium for like, two months after the Texans' football season ends.  The Reliant Stadium tour was one I was really looking forward to heading into this road trip, and it wound up being rather disappointing, overall.  First off, I was hoping to see the actual football field, but it was buried under mounds of dirt, but technically, I did set foot upon a field that the Super Bowl was contested on for the first time--technically, that is, and it wouldn't be the last one on this trip.  The other downer was the elderly lady who was our tour guide--I actually had to point out where the TV press box was located for her.  Something ain't quite right when I know more about the place than the tour guide does, but somewhere in the center of this photograph is where the world's most (in)famous wardrobe malfunction took place...

"RUMORS SPREADIN' 'ROUND, 'BOUT THAT TEXAS TOWN..."
Okay, so where were all them "nice girls" that Z.Z. Top sang about?  I didn't even see a damn shack in this place!  Truth be known, La Grange is a much bigger town than I was expecting--almost 5,000 folks, and of course, the famed "Chicken Ranch" closed down in 1973, long about the same time the song "La Grange" hit the charts.  Haw-haw-haw-haw, indeed...

"WHEN THE SUN COMES UP ON A SLEEPY LITTLE TOWN..."
...down around San Antone."  The sun did indeed come up over said sleepy little town that morning, but no one saw it because it was overcast all day.  I didn't see any preachers, teachers or Samurai swords, either.  Pretty uninspiring place, really--how Tom Johnston of the Doobies milked a timeless classic song out of it, I haven't got a clue...

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