Accepting on behalf of Jethro Tull this year is...

That annual exercise in futility known as the Clammy—er uh—Grammy Awards is rapidly approaching, and this year’s nominees were announced yesterday. I have to give it up to the Grammy peeples—at least they’re consistent if nothing else! This year’s Album of the Year Award is a microcosm of what I find so laughable about this whole farce. We have the following vying for the same award: The Red Hot Chili Peppers, John Mayer, The Dixie Chicks, Justin Timberlake and someone/something called Gnarls Barkley. To me, this is like comparing a Trans Am, a Cavalier, a VW Beetle, a Yugo and a moped, respectively, for best mode of transportation! RHCP and Timberfake in the SAME category?!? At least in boxing, they have weight classifications to make things fair! This is akin to the Tazmanian Devil taking on the AFLAC duck! In the words of The Fonz, "It just AIN’T done…"

Of course, I finally came to the realization years ago that the Grammies are a sham, since the "Academy" gets paid off by the record company suits in exchange for nominations. How else do you explain how The Beatles only won like TWO Grammies and groups like The Who and Led Zeppelin were never even nominated! I think I’ll pass on that Grammy broadcast when it comes up in favor of a "Mr. Belvedere" rerun…