Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Current TV People I Can Really Do Without

Dispensing with the obvious usual suspects—Bill O'Reilly, Geraldo Rivera, Dick Vitale, Oprah, Rosie O'Donnell, et al—who kinda go without saying, here is a semi-comprehensive list of current people on the Boob Tube that my life would be infinitely better without (in no particular order):

—That jagoff that hosts "Extreme Makeover"
—Those two dorks in the mini-van on the Sonic commercials (see previous post)
—Carson Daly

—Robin McGraw (Mrs. Dr. Phil)
—That "You can find the love of your life" doofus on the eHarmony.com ads
—Steve Doocy (Fox News Channel)
—Dennis Haysbert on the Allstate ads (Loved him as Pedro Cerrano in Major League, but I’m sick of him lecturing me about car insurance!)
—That Nancy Grace biyatch on CNN (Wouldn't you love to see her run over by a bus?)
—That "I’m thinking of a number..." dweeb on the FreeCreditReport.com ads (Free, my ass!)
—Michael Irvin (ESPN)
—That smiling geek on the Enzyte "male enhancement" ads (Unlike him, I need no drugs to get mine working!)
—All the hack comedian wanna-be’s VH-1 trots out for these "I Love The ‘80s", et al, shows
—Greta Van Sustererereren (Fox News Channel)
—Lynn Hoffman (Annoying VH-1 Classic VJ)
—That prissy-looking geek with the pencil-thin mustache on those "Colon Cleanser" infomercials

—The Geico Gecko (no longer funny!)
—All sideline reporters at sporting events (excluding Guy LaDouche on "M.X.C.", that is)
—Steven A. Smith (ESPN self-appointed expert on everything)
—Jim Rome (ditto)

—Jared From Subway
—Katie Horner (KCTV-5, Kansas City over-zealous weather tart/doomsday predictor)
—Come to think of it, the ENTIRE KCTV-5 news team ("Late-breaking, investigative, irritative, sensationalistic, tabloidy...")
—Jim Cramer (CNBC’s financial "guru"/clown)
—Deion Sanders (NFL Network analyst/Pimp wanna-be)

I'm sure I missed somebody here, but I'll get them next time...it's MY blog, after all...