Blah, Blah, Blah

BEGONE, SUPERCILIOUS TWITS!
101 The Fox, one of our local classic Rock stations, did us all a big favor last week and sacked the syndicated "Bob & Tom" morning show after less than a year of hyping the hell out of it as being a laugh riot.  I said it before here, and I’ll say it again: ain’t nothing more irritating than unfunny morning radio people laughing at their own jokes!  If I want to hear someone laughing at their own jokes, I can watch Bob Saget on "America’s Funniest Home Videos."  As for the station, this makes at least half a dozen morning show teams they’ve trotted out over the last ten years, and none of them have lasted more than a year and a half, and all of them sucked except my man Randy Raley’s show, and they fired him for no good reason.  So much for having any continuity during your morning drive slot, eh?

EVERY BUCK THEY MAKE…
I couldn’t help but chuckle while watching the press conference thing on VH-1 Classic for the upcoming Police reunion tour when they said the ticket prices would average around $100!  Not top out at, but average $100 a pop, and the sycophants in attendance at the press conference actually applauded this!  No thanks, fellas—I think I’ll pass.  I saw you guys twice back in the day when it was real and the ticket prices averaged $10 a pop, so I’ll just watch an old Synchronicity video instead.  Doesn’t it seem like a lifetime ago when we were all outraged that The Jacksons were charging $30 a ticket for the Victory tour in 1984?  Now you can’t even get a nosebleed seat at a comedy concert for under 40 bucks…

SPEAKING OF HYPOCRISY…
I didn’t catch this at the time because I don’t waste my time watching the Grammy Awards, but I read today that Al Gore was the presenter for the Best Rock Album award, won by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Although the band’s name is somewhat fitting for a guy who’s all hyped-up about global warming, it’s pretty hypocritical of him to honor the RHCPs, who were a frequent target of Gore’s warning-label-happy wife Tipper and the dreaded P.M.R.C. back in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s.

I may lean to the left, but that don’t stop me from bashing selected liberals too—I think Al Gore’s almost as big a moron as Dubya is.  So is Al Franken.  Now how’s that for being fair and balanced?

YOU ALMOST WANTED THE BEST, YOU ALMOST GOT THE BEST...
Went out with some friends Saturday night to see local Kiss tribute band Almost Kiss, and it was (Almost) enjoyable.  Almost Gene is a guy who's worked on my air conditioner a time or two, and this was my first time to (Almost) see the band.  Almost Paul looked and sounded like the real thing, and Almost Ace was pretty good—his costume was the (Al)most authentic, too.  From where we sat, we could hardly see Almost Peter, but he sounded good, anyway.  Oddly enough, the authentic Kiss classic "Almost Human" wasn't on their set list.  However, the stupid drunk fuck sitting behind us slurring the lyrics to the other songs was Almost as entertaining as the band, too!  Almost...

AND NOW YOUR SPORTS ANCHOR, ELTON JOHN!
Read a cool feature in the paper last week about the night the Royals finally beat the Yankees in the 1980 ALCS.  Turns out that same night, Elton John was in concert at Kemper Arena, and according to a fan who was conflicted about whether to attend the concert or watch the ballgame on TV, Elton came back out during his encore with a note and read, "George Brett has just hit a three-run home run in the 7th inning—Royals 4, Yankees 2," and the place went nuts.  Very cool of Elton to keep everyone updated, even though he probably didn’t have a clue what or who he was talking about!  Not sure why, but I was totally unaware that the concert even took place that night, or we might have attended ourselves.  Meantime, about the time the concert was winding down, my best friend Tom and I were a couple miles away at Crown Center, amongst hundreds of revelers gleefully chanting, "YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK!" and "COSELL SUCKS! COSELL SUCKS!" in front of the TV cameras.  Ah, the stuff of memories…