Seems like I've done this a hundred times already...

...OH WAIT--I HAVE!
After only two months and change, this is my 100th blog entry already.  You be the judge--is this a good thing or a bad thing?

MR. POT, MEET MR. KETTLE—BY THE WAY, YOU’RE BLACK!
The all-knowing, all-seeing triumvirate jury on Faux News Channel’s morning show (Super Doofus Steve Doocy, the blonde with the ugly legs, and that other dork whose name escapes me) today accused the Grammy Awards people of having an "agenda" by awarding five Grammies to the Dixie Chicks last night, as well as one to former Prez Jimmy Carter (Best Spoken Word Recording or some such thing).  Why, whatever would possess them to suggest something like that?  They’re so "fair and balanced", after all!

Certainly, no one on THIS blog would EVER dare accuse Fox News Channel of having an "agenda", would they?  [Chuckle/snort/wheeze/guffaw/tee-hee!]  Then again, in the words of Fred Sanford, "If the shoe fits--shove it up your nose!"  AND, I have no doubt that FNC will be sure to point out any alleged "agenda" in the unlikely event that, say, Ted Nugent and Dubya ever win Grammies in the same year…

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #9
"Right Down The Line"—GERRY RAFFERTY (1978) "When I wanted you to share my life…" sounded kinda like "When I wanted you to shave my wife…" to me.  You’ve heard of blurred vision? Well, sometimes I have blurred hearing…

I’M NOT SURE, BUT…
I think I saw Don Imus actually crack a smile this morning on his show! I was about half-asleep at the time, though, so it may have been a dream. I have to be careful not to leave his show on in lieu of my snooze-alarm time in the morning or I’ll fall back to sleep and be late for work…

NICE COMEBA(RA)CK!
In response to Mr. Big Mouth Dumbass Australian Prime Minister’s criticism of him (see previous post), Barack Obama suggested that perhaps the Aussies ought to send 20,000 of their troops to Iraq instead of us.  Nice return of serve, and not a bad idea either, Bro!

A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY...
To singer Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child, who turned 26 yesterday.  I only bring this up because I wanted to make any of the producers at VH-1 who might be reading this aware that Ms. Rowland was born in 1981.  You see, they included her personal recollections on their "I Love the '70s" anthology show a couple years ago.  Do the math, folks, and tell me what's wrong with that picture?

WELL, DOGGIES!
The Westminster Kennel big-time dog show from Madison Sq. Garden is currently airing on USA network as I type.  I'm hardly a dog enthusiast, but I get a kick out of watching this thing if for no other reason just to hear the announcers say the word "bitch" without being censored!  [Yes, I know I'm rather shallow sometimes.]  I keep waiting for one of these dogs to trip up their handler while they run around the circuit too!  I'm also patiently awaiting the Weenie Dog competition.  At least this year they don't have that old lady judge who resembled Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars…

Meantime, in an absolutely brilliant piece of counter-programming, Animal Planet is airing the "World's Ugliest Dog" competition directly opposite the Westminster thing, and it's funny as hell!  Much to my chagrin, though, neither Rosie O'Donnell or Joan Rivers' ugly-ass daughter were among the contestants…