Monday, February 12, 2007

20 Questions

A compilation of some of the funniest questions I've ever heard posed, in no particular order:

—"Does Joe Jackson HAVE to be in his videos?" (Gallagher)
—"Who the hell is Rula Lenska?" (Johnny Carson)
—"You listen to singing meat loafs?" (my brother Earnie)
—"Do you mind if I call you 'Arse'?" (singer Phil Collins to talk show host Arsenio Hall)
—"Do I have a scrotum?" (Sharon Osbourne)
—"What are you people—on dope?" (Mr. Hand in Fast Times At Ridgemont High)

—"Why is there no blue food?" (George Carlin) [Blueberries are purple!]
—"What's the matter, honey--does your hair hurt?" (Redd Foxx, to an uptight female audience member)

—"How can a guy who changes his name and wears a toupee be 'telling it like it is'?" (Joe Garagiola regarding Howard Cosell)
—"Well, what're we suppose to do, ya mo'ron?" (Stork in National Lampoon's Animal House)
—"How could anyone be so unkind to arrest a man for driving while blind?" (ZZ Top)
—"How do you not fall down more?" (Chandler Bing to Joey on "Friends")
—"How come he's got those two Cocoa Puffs stuck to his cheek?" (Beavis, regarding Lemmy from Motorhead)
—"How you get so big eating food of this kind?" (Yoda to Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back)
—"Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?" (George Carlin)
—"Are you totally deranged?" (John Cleese in A Fish Called Wanda)
—"What is your major malfunction, numb-nuts?" (Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket)
—"Would it make you feel any better...if they was pushed outta windows?" (Archie Bunker to Gloria, in response to the number of people killed annually by handguns)
—"Why you no crapping?" (Benny Hill, as Oriental man)

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