News and (my) Views

PUT A SOCK IN IT...
Moronic big-mouth conservative pundit Ann Coulter made headlines again this week by calling Democratic Pres. candidate John Edwards a "faggot", then back-pedaled and claimed it was all a joke.  Riiiiight.  I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other about Edwards yet—this isn’t about him—but for someone who claims to be a conservative and/or a Christian, Ann Coulter sure doesn’t act like one!  She doesn't look like one, either—she dresses like a slut most of the time.  I’ve figured out why she does this shit, though—it’s a desperate way to keep her name in the papers because she has nothing else relevant or profound to say, all the while chanting the conservative mantra of "We’re right/we’re always right/we’ll always be right."  I won’t waste my time or yours rehashing Coulter’s other outlandish ramblings, but suffice it to say that most of the crap this woman says and writes amounts to little more than runny post-KFC stool.  Still, I think she should have been strung up by her nut sack (if she had one) for her remarks about the 9/11 widows—hell, even douche-bag O’Reilly tried to distance himself from that burst of bilge water—and if I were a conservative, I sure wouldn’t want this wing-nut on my team.

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #12
"Good Times Roll"—THE CARS (1978) "If the illusion is real, let them give you a ride…" Or as I once interpreted it:  "If Ted Nugent is real…"  Well, he used to be, anyway...

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN…SORT OF
I neglected to update last week’s K.C. mayoral election, where our hero Stan Glazer, aka "Mr. Observation Wheel", finished 10th out of 12 candidates.  I repeat: 10th out of 12!  And one of two people he finished ahead of is facing criminal charges for her alleged misdoings, too!  Stan "Not-The-Man" garnered a whopping 1.7% of the vote—that’s only 1.7% more than I got, and I didn’t even run...

By the way, a boo/hiss to the people of Kansas City:  I find it pathetic in a city of half a million people that less than 58,000 even bothered to vote in a mayoral election.  That’s barely 10% of the population deciding who’s running the show.  And don’t blame the weather for the poor turnout at the polls, either—it was a decent day out last Tuesday.  I bet if they gave out free BBQ ribs at the polls, people woulda showed up to vote—if you ever want to get Kansas Citians to collectively do something, have a barbecue!  Hell, just ACT like you’re having a barbecue, and they’ll come-a runnin’ like Forrest Gump…

NUMBER 31
You can add The Exorcist to my 30 Most Overrated Movies of All-Time list.  I just watched it for the first time in its entirety over the weekend, and I was largely unimpressed.  I guess it was a bit more of a sensation in 1973 when that genre of movie was still in its infancy, but I found it pretty boring.  I will say this, though—Ellen Burstyn excelled at playing fuddy-duddy matronly characters, as does Diane Keaton.

DENNY ADDENDUM
Something I forgot to mention in my tribute to Hall of Fame-elect Royals broadcaster Denny Matthews:  For many years, a local snack food company called Guy’s has been a regular sponsor on Royals radio broadcasts.  Guy’s is famous for potato chips, cheese puffs, pretzels and such, and urban legend has it that one night during a game, Denny was reading a commercial bit for the company, and it went something like this:  "…So be sure and run out and grab some Guy’s Nuts today…"

DON'T NEED A WEATHERMAN TO KNOW WHICH WAY THE WIND BLOWS, PART DEUX
One thing I love about the Internet is how average Joe’s like me can start a grass-roots campaign at rabble-rousing.  Seems a local guy has started a website called http://www.firekatie.com/, a nice little razz at local K.C. TV weather tart/sensationalist drama queen Katie Horner, whose alarmist severe storm alert break-ins have become the bane of many innocent TV viewers’ existence.  I have no problem with keeping people informed when severe weather threatens, but it’s another thing entirely to take over the airwaves and keep everyone on edge at every sighting of a dark cloud.  "Oh, don’t worry—I’m not going to leave you," Katie often says, as she wipes out an entire evening’s network programming to give people up-to-the minute coverage of the pea-sized hail falling 100 miles from downtown K.C.  It’s not even Spring here yet, and she’s already in mid-season form.

Jeez, I hate local TV news and weather…