Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Anatomy Of A Clog

"This was no boat accident!"—Oceanographer Matt Hooper, Jaws (1975)

As young master Hooper was misled by Amity Island authorities, I appear to have been misled by my plumber, who told me almost a month ago that I had a collapsed sewer drain somewhere out in my front yard.  After spending hours and hours of somewhat unnecessary digging up of my beloved front yard, imagine my surprise at the discovery of the true cause of my recent drainage woes...a wad of caca about the size of Homey The Clown's sock!

During a rest break while digging tonight, I noted some hairline cracks in the sewer pipe just above the area that I'd already cracked open over the weekend.  Just for shits and hoots, I took Molly T. Hatchet and pounded away at the clay edifice and knocked it loose from the original joint that I dug up last Saturday.  After pulling out a small tree root that was tangled up in a rubber bushing in the joint, I then pulled out the aforementioned wad of caca (the brown thing in this photo).  At this point, I'm finding it hard to believe that Mr. Benjamin Franklin Plumber Man couldn't pierce through this rather innocuous hunk of crap, and that he was merely trying to drum up a little bidness on behalf of the company, to the tune of $2,500 semolians out of my wallet, over an alleged "collapsed drain pipe".  Part of me ain't too happy about this, but part of me is rather delighted over knowing the true cause of my drain clog...

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