911 Dispatch, how may I assist you?
Hello, I'd like to report a robbery—someone stole our scoreboard!
Can you describe the scoreboard, sir?
Yeah, it's 110-feet tall and in the shape of a crown, and someone made off with it, along with some other items in our yard.
What kind of items, sir?
Well, it looks like they took our outfield wall and JumboTron, and one of our bullpens is missing too.
Fine, sir, I'll send an officer out to assist you immediately...