Friday, February 1, 2008

If Coke's a joke, I can't wait for the next line...

A little '70s vintage drug humor for you, there...

WHAT CAN BROWNE DO FOR YOU?
I've been tuning in from time to time to our new radio station here in KC, 99.7 "The Boulevard", and I have to admit it ain't near as wretched as I expected it to be.  However, one thing I'm baffled by is their frequent and borderline-obsessive use of Jackson Browne in their drop-in promos and heavy rotation of his music.  Don't get me wrongJB seems like a nice guy and he's had a pretty good career, and yes, I know they named their station after one of his songs, but I can't believe there's that big an outcry to hear his music on the radio.  I would also submit that while he has some great songs, Jackson Browne does not belong in the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame.  My good friend Tom and I actually walked out on one of his concerts at Sandstone Amphitheater in 1993.  We (I, actually) were there to see the opening act, my man John Hiatt, but Browne's set was so disorganized and haphazard that we wondered if he and his band were still rehearsing!  He might've finally gotten around to playing his biggies like "Running On Empty" and "Doctor My Eyes", but we didn't wait around to find out...

As for the radio station's new format, while it totally seems like a neutered version of the Classic Rock station it replaced (completely bereft of power chords and all) I do like some of the musical selections I've caught on their airwave so farstuff you rarely hear on the radio anymore like Springsteen's "Cadillac Ranch", The Police's "Can't Stand Losing You" and (just as I had hoped), Dire Straits' "Tunnel Of Love".  On the downside, they need to go easy on spinning "Born To Run" so much.  (Sorry, Randy!)

AND WHILE I'M ON LOCAL RADIO...
Can someone explain to me why I should give a rip that some of our local KC sports talk yakkers were broadcasting live all week from Phoenix?  Apart from two former Chiefs playing for the Giants (Lawrence Tynes and Kawika Mitchell), there's no local Super Bowl angle at all.  It's rather pathetic listening to these guys hurling softball questions to any former NFL star who'll care to share his Super Bowl experiences with them.  Dead air would actually sound better...

IT'S NOT NICE TO FOOL MOTHER NATURE!
We had some weird weather phenomenon yesterday morning, as it was snowing while the sun was out.  I fully expected this to produce a snow-bow, but none was forthcoming...

GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST LEAGUE?
It seems that Montgomery, Alabama's minor league baseball team is called the Biscuits.  Apparently they play in the same division as the Birmingham Bagels and the Sarasota Cinnamon Rolls...

IS THERE NOTHING SACRED?
I read this week that Toronto's Maple Leaf Gardensarguably the Yankee Stadium of hockeyis going to be converted into an oversized grocery store.  MLG closed in 1999 when the Maple Leafs (Leaves?) moved to the antiseptic Air Canada Center, and the team's owners won't allow the old building to host anything that might compete with the ACC, so MLG has been wasting away ever since.  A grocery store?!?  I'd just as soon see them implode the friggin' place...

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #69
"Whisky Man"MOLLY HATCHET (1979)  "Ohh, straight at cha, babe!"  I always mistook the late Danny Joe Brown's opening line to mean "Stretch your belt!"  Well, come on, this was a song about drinking heavily, and when you do so, sometimes it's necessary to loosen the old belt a little...

JARED, DON'T YOU LOSE THAT NUMBER...
Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen has opened a new bar & grill here in town, a radio commercial for which claims "We'll wine you, we'll dine you, we'll sixty-nine you!"  Some folks might not be aware that Jared wears #69 for the Chiefs, but hopefully they won't be offended...

SPLATTERED ALL OVERMANHATTAN
Mmmm-kay, it wasn't quite a splattering, but I've been dying to use that line.  Congrats to the Kansas State Wildcats mens' bassit-ball team for finally figuring out how to beat Kansas in their own building Wednesday night.  You see, the Mildcats hadn't beaten KU at home since 1983, and this was their first win over the Jayhawks at their current home, Bramlage Coliseum, which opened 20 years ago.  Also nice to see K-State return to their former glory as a basketball power.  Hopefully Missouri will soon follow suit, if and when their players quit being knuckleheads by getting shit-faced and starting bar brawls that result in mass suspensions...

MISSED OPPORTUNITY
I was listening to my Heart Greatest Hits CD at work today.  Good stuff from Ann and Nancy Wilson, to be sure.  A thought occurred to me, thoughit's a dirty shame Jimmy Buffett already used the album title Songs You Know By Heart...

WHERE GREAT IDEAS ORIGINATE
You know where they got the idea for bar codes from?  Very simple, reallythey just took aerial photographs of this dude's hair...

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