Did y'all miss me? Sorry I've been so long away, peoples, but I have a fairly good excuse—I was in Sin City for three days this week and got home late last night. This was my third visit to Lost Wages in the last ten years, and I have to say that in spite of all the sights, sounds and attractions that Vegas provides, it's infinitely more fun and intense when you have a female companion, as I did on my last visit in 1999. This time I had no such companion and it was definitely a comedown, but then again, Vegas ain't the cheap food and drink proposition it once was, either. Now that the corporate suits are running the show out there instead of old-school gambling types, the emphasis is no longer on luring people into the casinos with cheap eats and booze—hell, in the old days, they wanted you to get drunk! Now it's all about family entertainment, and it's so watered-down. And yes, I do have blisters on both feet, as I must have put in six miles of walking on Wednesday along the Strip, in spite of wearing my best pair of walking chooz. D'oh!
Oh, by the way, a little tip for youse air travelers: Avoid US Airways, if you can. Their personnel were generally very unfriendly and unhelpful, and we encountered a couple FUBARs along the way. I weren't impressed...
And for your viewing pleasure, a brief pictorial tour of my trip:
HAIL CAESARS!
Evel Knievel woulda been comin' right at you if you were standing where I snapped this pic, just above same spot where he crashed his motorcycle and mangled his body on New Year's Eve, 1967 while jumping the fountains at Caesar's Palace. I'm surprised there's no historical marker anywhere on the premises...
WARNING: REALLY BAD JOKE COMING!
The one thing that's constant about Las Vegas is change, and here's a shot of yet another new luxury hotel/resort going up on the Strip in Vegas. I haven't seen that many cranes in the same place since the last time I watched "Frasier"! But I gotta tell ya, folks...
ZEBRA 3, ZEBRA 3—COME IN, PLEASE!
Ah yes, the mighty Striped Tomato from TV's "Starsky & Hutch" on display at the hotel we stayed at, the Imperial Palace. There were numerous other cool vehicles to be viewed there, including Herbie T. LoveBug, et al, and best of all, it was free. As for this here Torino, I still have to question what good it did for S&H to go "undercover" while driving around in a car that stood out like a turd in a punch bowl!
A TRUE LANDMARK...
...or at least to yours truly it is. This is the Royal Hotel & Resort in Las Vegas, just off the Strip near where the Stardust used to stand. Apart from my own house, I've had more sex here than anywhere else on this planet—all with the same beautiful girl. By the way, did I mention that Vegas is a lot more fun with a female companion?
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Meantime, while I was away:
THE GRIM REAPER'S BEEN BUSY AGAIN...
Sad news once again from the music front, as we lost two more fairly important people this week. R&B singer Al Wilson died of kidney failure on Monday. Al was best known for his 1973 smash "Show And Tell", which is a personal favorite of mine. Singer/songwriter Paul Davis died of a heart attack on Tuesday, just one day after his 60th birthday. He was most famous for late '70s/early '80s "mellow" hit fare like "I Go Crazy", "Cool Night" and "'65 Love Affair". Oddly enough, these two gentlemen have one thing in common—they were both born in Meridian, Mississippi. Rest in peace, Al and Paul...
YOU GO, GIRL!
I want to acknowledge Danica Patrick's IRL victory in Japan in the race car thang last weekend—way to go! Hey, chicks can drive too, ya know? Fairly monumental stuff, here...
THE DEED IS DONE
I was quite pleased to see that the Kansas City Chefs traded disgruntled defensive end Jared Allen to Minnesota the other day for three picks in tomorrow's NFL draft. Okay, youse Chefs fans who now have skidmarks in your underwear need to calm down and listen to reason and start thinking with your heads instead of your hearts. Yes, JA is a talented player who could benefit the team for years to come, but the fact is he ain't gonna benefit this team for years to come because he's pissed at G.M. Carl Peterson, and we'd have lost him after this season anyway, thanks to his foul gruntlement, so why not get something in return for him while we can, eh? J. Allen is also just one more DUI away from being suspended for a full season and meantime El Chiefos snagged another first-round pick from the Vikings in this deal, as well as two third-round picks, bringing their total to 13 choices in this year's draft. Unless they go totally blind, the Chefs are bound to snag some quality foosball players this time, so get over it, all you Jared Allen sycophants—he's overrated anyway...
And thank goodness to whoever's in charge of this flea circus we live in—ESPN's incessant coverage of the NFL Draft will be over after tomorrow!
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #78
"People And Places"—JOURNEY (1980) "Take a ride on a rocket...take your mind, unlock it..." Or, as my dopey mind heard it at the time, "Take your mind and like it!" Very underrated song from Joyney, btw...
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE B-DAY!
I see by the paper that actor Al Pacino turns 68 today. My man Björn Ulvæus of ABBA hits 63 and (Yo, Adrian!) actress Talia Shire is now 62. Best of all, my girl Renee Zellweger turned 39 on this day. I'm still waiting for your phone call, cutie...
Friday, April 25, 2008
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6 comments:
Whatever happened to "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"? I bet you could have found some female companionship there if you really wanted to. Might have cost ya, though.
Ah, dear boy, I ain't willing to pay money for female companionship--that's something one must EARN, in my book! I prefer the real thing as opposed to something artificial, and besides, prostitution is illegal within the city limits of Las Vegas. Perfectly cool within the rest of Nevada, but that ain't my style...
Supposedly, if you bet enough, the casinos will provide "female companionship" free of charge, if that's your wish. Just like the buffets...
But it's always best to avoid the street hookers.
In the words of Master Yoda, "Hear you not what I say?" I don't want no "female companionship, free of charge"--that's cheating, in my book! I want someone who wants ME just as badly. This has only happened once in my lifetime so far (nine years ago), and there's no guarantee it'll happen again, which really perturbs me at this stage in my life...
Calm down, my friend, calm down! I hear ya!
Never say never!
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