Quick Hits and Fazed Cookies

A HEARTFELT THANK-YOU...
...to my good friend Phil Alvarez for all his help on the upkeep and/or improvement on my humble abode.  Thanks to him, my bedroom now has new walls.  At this point, I owe you about eleventy-million favors, my friend...

"HE'LL ALWAYS BE KING OF PAIN..."—NOT!
I want to send out a get-well wish or two to Brother Randy Raley, who has recently been on the DL following rotator cuff surgery.  Hope your rehab is going swimmingly, my friend, to the point where you can actually go swimming without pain soon.  Meantime, go easy on the Vicodin, mmm-kay?  We don't want you morphing into Scott Weiland...

LIVE TV AT ITS FINEST
I generally don't condone stealing/borrowing stuff from other bloggers, but my other Brother Ken posted this the other day on his blog, and it's too fucking funny to sit on...

CHICAGO ASS-WIPE #1A
I saw by today's paper that the very wrong Rev. Jeremiah Wright is poised to soon take possession of his new $1.6 million, 10,000 sq. ft. home in Chi-Town.  Well, isn't that special?

CHICAGO ASS-WIPE #1B
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen:  "Who's the manager they remember the most? ... Billy Martin. They don't remember Sparky Anderson. ... They remember Billy Martin because he was the crazy one...Why do you think they like Lou Piniella? Because Lou is good? Great guy.  Great baseball people.  But people love Lou Piniella because he's (fucked) ... up!"

Uhhh, I remember Sparky Anderson, dumbass, and I remember that he led no less than three teams to World Series Champeenships, and if nothing else, he at least had class (as does "Sweet Lou" Piniella), which is more than I can say for Billy Martin or you, Señor
Guillen.  Ozzie's act has grown extremely stale since the Chisox won the whole she-bang in 2005, and this nut-job truly needs to have his family jewels slammed in a car door quite soon...

SPEAKING OF SPARKY A. ...
Mr. Anderson had one of my favorite baseball quotes back when he was managing in Detroit and was asked who he would need to trade to get outfielder Joe Carter from Toronto—then the premier slugger in the league.  Sparky responded with something like, "If we traded for Joe Carter, it would be just me and him on the bench—and I can't hit!"

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #82
"Radar Love"—GOLDEN EARRING (1974)  "The radio plays that forgotten song—Brenda Lee's 'Coming On Strong'..."  Not misheard here so much as misunderstood—I thought he was saying that Brenda Lee herself was "coming on strong".  I was unaware at the time that she had song by that same name...

NO, SPEED RACER, NO!
I was proud to see that the new Speed Racer flick is being panned by the critics.  According to the K.C. Star's critic, the chimpanzee who starred as Chim-Chim was far superior to any of the trained actors in this disaster-piece.  This is what they get for treading on sacred ground—you don't mess with a classic!  Didn't the Beverly Hillbillies movie teach these fools anything?

ART IMITATES LIFE
I'm currently checking out season one of "Bosom Buddies" on DVD.  While I still find it unfathomable that this is where it all began for Oscar-winning actor Tom Hanks, this wasn't a bad show, really.  It's even funnier when "Comedian" Bob Saget makes a guest appearance in one episode playing an unfunny stand-up comedian who bombs at a nightclub.  Imagine that—the bastard didn't even have to act!  Even the great wanna-be Adrian Zmed dropped by on another episode where he acts like a singer.  As hokey and implausible as "Buddies" was, it still outclasses any so-called comedies currently airing on network TV these days.  And I have to admit that seeing Donna Dixon in Spandex ain't hard on one's 43-year-old eyes.  I'm also enjoying the exploits of the late Wendie Jo Sperber as Amy, the receptionist.  She was a very funny gal—kind of a chunky Gilda Radner, if you will.  R.I.P., Wendie Jo—you were a total cutie...